Learning to Live
by 6Fortius9
Summary: "Ace. I'm sorry you had to see me die. But as promised, I'll be telling you about my past. Before I begin my story, there's just one thing you have to know: It's the fact that this isn't the first time I planned my death." - In which Ace receives a tone dial from his first mate.
1. Chapter 1

Learning to Live

I: Learning to Die

...

Narration

 _[Tone Dial]_

 _(Inner Thoughts/Memories)_

 _Words being emphasized on_

…

Blank.

Nothing, at this point, could come to mind.

Portgas D. Ace stared out into the vast horizons of the limitless sea stretching out before him, thinking of nothing. In the distance, the cries of seagulls drifted to him. But nothing compared to the agonized screams of Luffy – nothing, not even Jimbe's alarmed cries as he surged forward to stop him.

Everything is meaningless at this point.

Useless.

 _(Just like him.)_

He buried his face in both palms, breathing in deeply as though being suffocated.

 _(He might as well be.)_

"Aren't you going after Mugiwara-ya?" The question coming from the sudden presence beside him hardly made him tense. If it was any other time, or anywhere else, he might have reproached himself for the slip in his observation haki. But not now.

It hardly mattered. Nothing seems to matter at this point.

"…Did you love her?" The doctor opted for a different question, plopping down beside him. Ace bore daggers into him at once. "We arrived just in time to witness that final scene." Ace knew exactly what scene he was talking about. "…She was the one who told us to hurry."

 _(No.)_

Yes. The suspicion that she might have planned her own death further cemented.

Something in him shattered and broke under its hefty weight. He exhaled slowly, squeezing his fists tight enough to crush metal.

"…What do you mean to say by that?" Ace would like to think that he had admirable self-control for managing some guise of politeness. It's only the fact that they owe the doctor a lifelong debt that stops him from throwing a fire fist at him.

The doctor gives him a long appraising look and as if he making a life-changing decision, withdrew something from his jacket pocket.

It's a tone dial, Ace recognizes as his heart gave a leap. It's that silly stupid little thing that she got from their travel to Skypea. A pastel pink shell with the random scribbles of her markers and each of his old crew's individual signatures carved into the organic matter for eternity. He never understood why she loved it so much…and yet, he was grateful that she kept it, if only because that meant he'd be able to hear her voice.

"I listened to it." The doctor said, pressing the shell into his palms gingerly.

Ace's eyes shot up to him.

"It was…educational." And the urge to punch him was once more renewed.

Looking away from him, the doctor gazed into the distance. His eyes looked as if he was searching for something, or someone.

"She wanted me to make the decision in regards to giving you this." The doctor tapped his mind. "Dabble some in psychology even though it's not my area of expertise, you see? And I would strongly discourage you from listening to this thing, but-" Grey eyes examined his face. "-I think there's no one better than you to make the decision for yourself."

Ace traced the edges of the shell subconsciously, giving the doctor a curt nod.

"Thanks." He glared. "And I don't know what she said, but you better keep everything to yourself. Or else."

The doctor rolled his eyes.

"I bet you're as much trouble as that brother of yours, so I'll keep that in mind."

Ace caught the nostalgic straw hat with a finger and watched the captain give the order to set sail, ignoring the numerous whines of his crewmates. The polar bear followed without complain, hunching over in confusing apology while the others grumbled before following. The captain-doctor curled his fingers over the edges of the submarine – 'DEATH' is tattooed onto his fingers, Ace notices now – and the New World pirate shouts one last thanks _(this time for Luffy)_ before the submarine closes.

As the submarine sinks into the waters of calm belt, he catches the captain's nod. A bubble or two floated up into the surface, and then, they were gone as if they were never there.

Ace stood silently with his new treasure _(_ her _treasure)_ , catching himself bitterly when a stray thought of 'how she would have liked living in a submarine' flies by. He didn't dare to squeeze the shell, fearing that it would not withstand his strength. Instead, a flameless punch at a tree knocked it down and right out of the soil.

"Damn it." He muttered, spat, because anger was so much easier to channel than sadness. "Damn it all!"

Ace wanted to rage, wanted to beat himself up like Luffy is doing, but he couldn't. Shouldn't. If she was here, she would point out how meaningless anger is. Just like Sabo would.

But she wasn't. And as much as anger came easy, the shell still came first. An odd mix of apprehension and dread mixed in the pit of his belly, turning into unbearable impatience.

Ace breathes. Settles down somewhere in the midst of tree branches, where he wouldn't be disturbed. And slowly, as if pulling a trigger to his head, he pressed the end of the shell.

.

.

.

Nothing happens. No explosions, no voices or anything of that sort.

Ace was just contemplating genocide on that bastard when a soft familiar voice coughed, hesitation and mild quivers from the lack of use.

 _["…Ace."]_

Just the whisper of his name brought tears to his eyes.

He bowed his head down as memories flickered, as that last vision of her, lying flat on the ground, refused to leave his head.

 _["…I'm sorry that you have to hear from this thing instead of in person. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you the truth till the very end. I'm sorry…"]_ A sniffle came from the shell. She's apologizing too much, but she wouldn't be her if she doesn't apologize. _["…I'm sorry for dying, Ace."]_

'No.' He wanted to say. 'Don't apologize.'

But at the same time as one part of him longed to comfort a person long gone, another wanted to blame and hurt and punch something.

He stopped the record to wipe his eyes before continuing.

 _["…But I'm glad. If this shell got to you, it must mean that you're still alive, and Law-san thinks you are mentally well enough to receive this."]_ A bubble of choked laughter. _["I know I shouldn't be happy that you're not affected by my death, but really, I am. Like I told you, I'm happy so long as you are."]_

She did, didn't she? It had been so long since…

A shaky breath was taken. He followed her example, until a loud thump resounded on the other side, obviously startling her. Sounds of shuffling were heard, soft words exchanged before a door squeaked clamorously and closed.

 _["…I'm sorry. That was Rosinante. Oh, where was I?"]_ Always a klutz, Ace thinks. Always in her own world. _["Well, I don't exactly remember, but that doesn't matter, does it? Long ago, I promised you that I would tell you the truth about my past one day. I'm going to fulfil that promise right now. You ready?"]_

Ace steeled himself, shifting his hold on the tree branch when nervous laughter drifted to his ears.

 _["To be honest, I really didn't want you to know. Afterall, who knows what you're going to do once you know…right?"]_ He gazed out at the sea. What did he want to do after this? What was he going to do without his first mate or his pops? He didn't know either, himself. _["Just…know that I want you to do what's best for yourself. Promise me you'll do that for me, Luffy, and Sabo, kay?"]_

He nodded despite knowing that she can't see.

 _["Okay then."]_

She takes a deep breath.

 _["Before I begin my story, there's just one thing you have to know._

 _It's the fact that this isn't the first time I planned my own death."]_

…

The train in the opposite lane blew by. Hair fluttering, fingers balling up fistfuls of cloth within my pockets, anxiety hits me for the nth time as I stared out into nowhere, all too aware of the things happening behind me.

People. They're walking by. Some talk in cheerful tones as they walked. Others waited with a sullen face, exhaustion clear in their eyes. But all strangers. There were nobody I knew here, nobody who would see what I'm about to do and no possibility of being stopped. It was the perfect place, perfect timing for me to die. I made sure of that, coming at peak hour, where the crowd is thick and my anxiety suffocates.

My throat is dry as I swallow.

I'm scared. So very scared of these people.

 _(When was the last time I stood fearlessly amongst them?)_

My heart is thumping furiously. I can hear the too quick rhythm of beats echoing in my ears. I can feel my hands getting sweaty where they are, enclosed by fabric and hidden from public's view. My eyes narrow as I withhold the urge to whimper or tremble.

I want a friend. I want my parents, or my brothers. Anyone to be beside me right now and shield me from these fellow human beings.

But no one will come.

Not when they're all gone for good.

No one will care when I disappear. There's simply nobody for me to leave behind anymore, no one to hide behind, no one to remember me as anyone other than that unsociable girl always shielding from view.

 _(…Did I even exist in this world to begin with?)_

Something flickered in the depths of my heart.

Like a candle being extinguished, hesitation drains away and nothing remains but the sight of the platform edge and the sounds announcing the arrival of a new train.

The crowd is at its thickest. There are so many people, yet there's nobody who cares.

 _(Not even me.)_

I stepped out.

And then, overwhelming pain stole all senses away from me.

.

.

.

But that isn't the end.

…

Somewhere, there is a flicker of light.

What's happening? Shouldn't I be dead?

With a jolt, I opened eyes that I don't recall closing, only to find myself in a room of white. White walls, white couches. Even the coffee table was white, beyond the obviously transparent glas. The colour is disparagingly familiar to what I imagine a therapist's room to be. Clean, washed out, and clinical.

 _(A place I obviously belong to)_

It's a mirror of the place I've toed most of my life, struggling to avoid.

A blink later, I find myself staring at a reflection of myself, sitting in the opposite couch where there had been no one before.

The only natural reaction would be to flinch back.

Yet, even when I tried to move, something held me down in my seat. A firm pressure of sorts drags my body down, weighing it down like invisible handcuffs. An attempt to lift an arm only resulted in the pressure intensifying. I watched helplessly as my mirror image lifted a cup of coffee – tea, whatever, I didn't care what it was – and sipped, tapping her fingers on a folder all the while.

 _Thud, thud, thud._

It's a cold, unmoving sound.

What the hell is this?

I quivered in my seat. The pressure sadistically allowed me that motion.

The thing which lies beyond death…What is this? Why is this happening?

 _(Isn't it obvious. It's because you killed yourself-)_

 _Clink._

The sound of the teacup against the table drew my attention at once.

My mirror image sat back, relaxed, watching me with an unfamiliar edge in her brown eyes – an edge so predatory and foreign that it physically ached to look back at her. I was ready to look at the ceiling, the ground – anywhere else – when I found that I couldn'tavert my eyes from her because it felt like someone was forcefully prying my eyeballs in her direction. It stings. It burns. It _hurts._

"Skylar." The name sounded like venom falling from her lips. I winced. "Ironic, isn't it? Given that your name means 'Strength'. Even though you're just a weakling who killed herself by implicating others. How _unfortunate_."

I trembled, because what can I answer to that?

It was all the truth,

I'm a coward. I knew that as much. I knew that from the first moment I contemplated suicide.

 _(I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'msorry-)_

I sniffled as my vision blurred. Fingers curled in unease.

"I'm sorry." The words were allowed to tumble out of my mouth for some reason. Hearing myself hurt all the more.

Brown eyes analyzed me pensively.

"No, you're not." The image stated factually, and I bowed my head.

Another truth. _(Another lie.)_ It's true that I'm apologetic for causing others trouble, but…fear of living still removes any hint of regret that might have arose from my decision. Even if I go back in time, knowing this – whatever this is – I would still repeat my actions. I would still die.

'I'm sorry' means nothing when I hardly repented my actions.

Words never mean much unless they're backed up by actions.

"For a suicidal one like you, the most apt torture I can possibly think of would be guardianship."

What?

My eyes shot up in apprehension. The lips on my mirror image curled in a manner that elicited dread, and only that by itself. It's obvious by now that in the midst of this confusing situation, my fate after death is being decided. But what the heck is 'guardianship', besides the obvious meaning? All I could think of is being assigned to look after the wellbeing of someone, but-

"You will be assigned Portgas D. Ace as your charge. You are to guard him until he dies in a manner of his choosing."

-I can't possibly guard someone else, not when I can't even manage the action of standing in a crowd.

 _(You can't even_ talk _to people.)_

So how-? Why-? And why _Ace_ -

The familiarity of the name befuddles me even beyond the assignment of a sudden task.

I parted my lips to ask.

"What-?"

My mirror image gave me a look, before her appearance changed with a wave of the hand.

"Next person in line." The male voice which spoke was filled with disinterest.

The next thing I knew, I was falling into an endless abyss, screaming my head off in alarm.

…

 _Click._

…what?

Ace inhales, brows furrowing into a perplex expression as he gazed down at the delicate shell in his grip.

He didn't understand. It just all seems so extraordinary, that it's hard to swallow. Another world? A judgement made in heaven that consists of merely a few lines? A heaven that is a small white room, with a god – death god, whatever he is – taking the image of the people he's judging? It's all so unbelievable that he felt some part of him rising up in indignation, scowling at the lie, demanding the _real_ truth.

But…he knows she wasn't lying.

She has always been a terrible liar of Luffy's calibre.

Sides, he was a New World pirate. He knows what weird things could be out there, hidden in some remote edges of the world.

He…he could accept this.

 _(Even if it means accepting that she's dead-?)_

His breath hitched. He closes his eyes.

He had to, to continue listening.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Ace started up the tone dial again, noting in some distant recess of his mind that Luffy's voice had died down, with Jimbe's soft rumbling a comforting lull to calmness. His voice soothed the conflict in his mind, in both their minds.

Ace exhaled shakily and willed himself to just. Listen.

 _["Life does not end after death."]_ The solemnity in her voice brought back unwanted memories of other times. And suddenly, it makes sense. Why she had reproached him the day they met. Why she had been so angry the day he snapped on Whitebeard's ship. Why she always seemed to understand. _["Nothing ever ends, Ace. Not the need for social interaction. Not the heritage of our birth. Not even the reality of life."]_

 _["In the end, death is just another part of life. And like always, responsibilities are shoved around. People do the bare minimum to survive instead of utilizing all their efforts. Things are never truly done until the ones at the very bottom of that corporate ladder picks up the slack created by their leaders."]_

She was angry, truly.

Ace knew he would be, if he was shoved into a different world with inexplicable orders to go by. He wondered if she ever loathed him for being her…task, as she puts it, for requiring her protection. And yet, something in him feels unapologetic for having her come to him.

Understandably, she continued, unaware of his thoughts. Her voice softened. With a soft comforting sound of shifting, he could imagine her caressing the shell's edge, brushing her fingers against their names.

 _["In my case, the ones I owe everything to are Monet and Mihawk. The two people closest to being my family in this life, alongside you three."]_

…

Nothing beats waking up after death. Nothing, save perhaps waking up to the one and only Monet of One Piece.

I jumped, startled, and scrambled back in my bed far away from her.

It is one thing to witness all her cruel deeds over a screen and still sympathize with her as she dies, but another to meet the one and only (future) harpy in person. Clad in her usual skimpy outfit of a green tank top and brown shorts, the unmerciful, deceitful assistant of Caeser Clown only withdrew the cloth in her hands, chuckling softly to herself in amusement.

"Fully awake?" And she's every bit the person I saw in the show.

Meaning every bit of a tease and sadist as she was shown.

I shuddered, wielding my covers like a shield.

"Now, there's no need for such reaction, is there?" She dropped the cloth into a bucket of water, leaning in far. Too. Close. "I don't know what you saw about me in your world, but as a guardian, you should understand why I did whatever I did. Afterall, it's what you're about to do yourself. We all have to do things to protect our charges."

My shudders intensified. I flinched away from her, covering my face.

"Please…don't hurt me." It's pathetic, I know. I still begged nevertheless. Dying by frostbite sounds like a terrible way to go. Burning all over while frozen cold. Just…urgh.

"Why would I hurt you?" Monet blanched as if insulted, face turning inquisitive despite herself.

I poke an eye out to peek at her.

"I'm your guide here, just as Mihawk is. Once you're assigned a guide on this island, you're pretty much family for life." Amber eyes, ringed with a dark brown shade that both softened and intensified them at once, brightened at the mention of a family. In that moment, with light green hair framing soft features and eyes innocently bright, it stings to look at her, knowing how her end would come about.

 _(In a crumbling room with gently falling snow. Wings hovering, trying so hard but failing to reach the button. A final sigh as she attempts to fulfil her promise to her young master._

 _But at least she tried. At least, she's different from me, isn't she?)_

 _[…Maybe, in retrospect, that's why I was assigned Monet as my guide.]_

"…family." I whispered, voice dead despite myself.

I have no such thing now.

They're all gone. Killed, by that bastard of a drunk driver.

They can't be replaced.

The sudden amber eyes shoved in my face elicited a yelp from me. I backed away in fright, whimpering as a pale hand approached the top of my head – only to pat me gently? It still intimidate, nevertheless.

"You can call me mom if you want." Monet whispered with a smile.

Now I'm not sure if she was mocking me or just being sincere in her affections, but my beliefs leaned more towards the former. I'm indignant, but at the same time, the knowledge that she could so easily kill me stifles any show of rebellion from me-

"Momet."

-other than that.

Immediately, I ducked my head in embarrassment.

How mature was that?

The woman stills, and laughs, calloused fingers of a killer tracking downwards to pinch my cheek gently.

"How cute." Every bit like she was depicted. "But in case the death god didn't tell you, as he often tends to be, you would be allowed to reunite with your family should you complete your mission successfully."

I sat up at the thought, gazing hopefully at her to continue. Honestly speaking, I didn't expect the death god to be merciful at all. Being able to meet my family again, even for a second, means the world to me and if that wasn't a small mercy, then I didn't know what is. And if I merely have to complete the one task of looking after a child-

…Ace.

I have to look after Portgas D. Ace, who's likely over at the opposite end of the world, if Monet's presence is any indication. I have to look after a complete stranger and his whole wrangle of angst, even though I could hardly handle my own.

I have to _go_ _out._

The halting realizations killed all light in a suddenly scary world.

Then, came the awareness that I'm now in a completely different world, a world where 'Monet', 'Mihawk', and 'Ace' exist. I…I…

"I can't." The realization is terrifying.

Breaths hitching. Head shaking. Fingers griping for support – anything, anything at all.

"I can't. I can't!"

I can't do it.

I couldn't even stand in the midst of a crowd. I couldn't even stay alive by myself. I can't even find my way through my own life, couldn't not get lost within two miles of my home – _I just can't._

 _(Can't do it. Can't see Dad, Mom, or my brothers again. Can'tcan'tcan'tcan't-)_

"-Calm down!" Monet's voice filtered through suddenly. I think she had been speaking even before that, just that her voice is muted in the suddenly dizzying world of mine. Cold hands gripped the sides of my face, and I was forced to peer into her entrancing amber, brown-ringed eyes. "Calm down. Follow me as I breathe and countdown to ten."

Deep, shaky breaths followed.

The silence was deafening.

Her hands were comforting though, with all the coolness they have. They stroke my hair gently.

I blinked back tears and looked away. She released me reluctantly.

 _(I bet she didn't even want to touch me though.)_

"I'm sorry." I choked out, burying my face in my knees. "I'm sorry, Monet."

"Well, I'd appreciate a thank you instead." Monet smiled sympathetically, placing a hand on her hips. "I get it. It's overwhelming when it finally hits. Apparently, even the war veterans amongst us go through that stage. Especially the war veterans, I guess." Her eyes were distant.

"No." I breathed, gasping. "It's different. I-I killed myself. I leapt in front of a train, and I-"

I choked over the word.

"I died." It came out far easier than all the effort it took to muster it.

A sharp breath was taken. Monet touched my shoulders, and it was a firm supporting contact that I could, for once, not reject.

"We're all the same, Skylar." She pronounced those words clearly, slowly for emphasis. Amber eyes bore into mine. I couldn't see a single bit of deceit in them. _(Either she was that good, or she was telling the truth.)_ "We all committed suicide. Hell, I jumped off the cliff in the midst of winter and half-drowned, half-froze myself to death." She shrugged off my incredulity. "But point is, even Mihawk committed suicide in his first life. And trust me when I say he's the benchmark of discipline even for the almighty. You should know. We were appointed your guides because you knew us from your world."

"B-But…" I hesitated. "…I have anthropophobia."

"And I have ranidaphobia. See? We're the same."

"But that's the fear of frogs!" I yelled, exasperated. "It's hardly the same!"

"I had depression once. Mihawk gets hives around crowds. Almost everyone on this island have some ailment of some kind that caused them to commit suicide, so I don't see how we're so different." The way Monet spoke was so factual, so indifferent, that I was at a loss for words.

Slumping against the wall, I gazed down at my trembling hands.

It is…mindblowing, how strange this new world is. Or more precisely, how easily my conditions are labelled as the norm around here.

Never.

Never have I ever considered myself normal. Never, have I had someone who recognized my condition for what it is, accepting it so simply for what it is. And yet Monet did those things so simply. It's _terrifying_ , how she seemed to peer into my mind and target every single bit of my doubts. It's _confusing_ , because suddenly, nothing seems to make sense.

A shuddering breath escapes me. I feel my eyes stinging as warm tears slid out. I'm unable to put words to the reason why, yet in that instance, something in my chest just felt so comfortingly warm and soothing.

"B-But I-!" The words drew themselves out, dying as a useless protest faltered under the weight of her words and turned into a whimpering wail.

What am I doing, crying like a kid? What must Monet think now?

Sounds of shuffling drew near me.

"Would you like a hug?" The same teasing tone is still in her voice. That's what makes her Monet. And yet, simultaneously, that tone no longer felt mocking in the manner it did before.

I plunged myself into her extended arms, soaking her shirt wet with my tears.

Because…for the first time in my life, I finally have someone who understands me.

…

The days after my entry to this strange world were spent learning. Under the guidance of Monet, who was apparently appointed as one of my guides by the death god, I spend my first year studying all I could about this new world. Yet, even with the supposedly mundane routine of waking up to encyclopaedias and books, there were still many events that found their way into my life.

Occasionally, I would bond with Monet.

…

Chuckles of amusement drifted over my head as I peered at my reflection, stoned in shock.

Where my dark locks still tumbled down either sides of my face as they tended to do before, my dark eyes were no longer the same colour they used to be, turning a shade of light grey with darker rings of grey, as Monet's yellow and brown-ringed eyes were.

But that, that was something I didn't mind.

It was just the fact that I'm shorter, smaller, and all the sudden, younger than I could recall myself ever being. It certainly explains why the world seemed a lot bigger, though I wouldn't doubt that it would still be just as scary if I was big.

"Done being shocked?" Monet leaned her face on a palm, watching me from where she sat on my bed.

I nodded mutedly.

"In order to obtain the necessary skills to protect our charges, the death god reverts us back to the age of five when we're inserted into this world – and only when our charges' respective timelines begin, then do we leave to meet them and protect them."

In my case, that would mean that I have leave at the age of ten, when Ace first meets Luffy. Of course, the 'plot' as it is called stars Luffy as the main character, but as Monet has explained a while back, while every one of us have knowledge that centres on different people in this world, the start of our mission would still be the first time we see them in our respective stories.

"To aid us, the death god sends us a note of the age of our character when we arrive. Yours is the same age as you."

That's…surprisingly convenient, for how uncaring the death god seemed at first.

Then again, that could be the paradox of choice. I could have been older than Ace, giving me plenty more time to prepare to meet him _(to leave the comforts of my room)_. That would have been so much better.

I turned back to Monet, only to see her sticking her head into the impossibly large bag she hefted into the room. With those ditzy, swirly glasses she wore on her head, it only serves to amplify the weirdness of the situation as she fumbled with something in the bag.

I hesitated.

Should I ask?

Another ten more minutes was spent fumbling.

I fidgeted and lowered my head.

"What…are you doing?"

She plucked her head out from the bag, hands lifting to show a garment so overly frilly and pink that I bulked. Monet offered a close eyed smile, looking so innocent despite the obviously malicious intent she had with that monstrosity in her hands.

"Shall we take a bath together?" She cocked her head, showing off her neck. "Skylar- _chan_."

I shuddered.

Is that a question? I can refuse, right? Not to mention that taking baths together are just beyond me and my cultural standards, and-!

Monet leaned over me with a bright smile.

Five minutes later, I sink into the oddly deep tub, blowing bubbles into the water as I shifted my eyes awkwardly to anything but the woman still outside, using the shower head to wash her hair. I may be a female at heart, and anthropophobia may have prevented me from learning about my preferences, but even so, Monet is admittedly the prettiest woman I've ever seen in my life.

I sunk deeper into the waters, weaving my hand around it in an inquisitive action to grab the bubbles.

I never had a tub at home, and even when I do visit those hotels that do have it, the thought of submersing in a tub full of my own germs always had me bulking.

I flinched when Monet stuck her feet into the tub, joining me in the pool of water.

I looked away from her boobs, peering down sadly at my own. Or lack thereof. They were the one joy I had, being able to rest my chin on their softness occasionally. Call me a pervert, but I get why men are so obsessed with breasts. They're soft. Or at least, mine are. Were.

…I hope my preference does not lie in the more slender gender, even with that opinion. Not that I have anything against them.

A sudden chuckle drew another flinch from me.

I hugged my knees to my chest, peering up at Monet questioningly.

Do. Not. Look. At. Her. Boobs.

"You look like you're thinking hard about something." Monet divulged, smiling teasingly. "A beri for your thoughts?"

Urm. Anything other than 'boobs'. Anything other than-

"Bacteria." I spilled the first word that came to mind. Immediately, I regretted it. Drawing my lips from the water, I murmured, looking away from her curious gaze. "I don't get why you wanted to share bacteria in the water with me. Not that you're dirty. Or I am, for that matter."

Why, oh why did I say that? I want to cover my eyes forever.

Monet tensed, upturned lips turning down into a contemplative frown.

"…Do you…perhaps have mysophobia as well?" She asked.

"What? No! No, I don't." I blinked wide eyes at her, counting down the instances where I blanched when people – or strangers at least – touched me. "Or at least, I don't think I do."

"Fear of being touched by family?" Monet questioned, pressing her lips together tightly.

"No."

"Fixation on cleanliness?"

I shook my head.

"Avoidance of places considered dirty?"

I thought about it.

"Only it's really stinky." I frowned. "Or if there's a crowd in there."

"Good." Monet sighed in relief, slinking into the warm waters. I jumped when I felt her legs brush against me. "I'm glad that you don't have that condition as well. Otherwise, this bath would really have been a tremendous mistake."

I winced.

"I'm sorry." I'm beginning to understand why Bepo does that so often now.

"What for?" She sighed, seemingly more relaxed due to the heat of the water.

"I'm just- I'm just no good at this. Socializing, I mean." I could feel my fingers trembling even in the water. I drew my legs closer. "I know that you said that we're the same, a-and as my guide, you're meant to help. But…I can't help but think that..." I mumbled my next words, looking down, not wanting to see her reaction.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" Her tone was gentle and open.

"…I think…It would have been so much better for you if you got someone else besides me to guide." I whispered a bit louder, hoping she would still be unable to hear it.

But she did.

A moment of deafening silence was punctuated with a sigh.

"Honestly? No matter who I'm assigned to, so long as you came onto this island, I would have looked after you regardless." Monet frowned. I yelped as she grabbed my shoulders again, shoving amber eyes into my face. "We're family, Skylar. Get that through your thick head. Everyone on this island is family, so we'll look after you no matter how much trouble you're worth."

"I-I-I get it! Please…mov-"

"Not until you stop thinking of yourself as a burden and start opening yourself to me-"

Her lips were moving, but the words she spoke flew over my head. I felt my heart accelerating when she shoved her boobs onto me, thumping her shoulders for mercy. The heat of the bath was finally getting to me, and she was not helping. At all. Moments later, everything went black.

 _(I think I fainted.)_

Still…not…lesbian…

…

Bonding, aka heart-to-heart talks and Monet's physical touches, were admittedly aplenty between my constant doubts and Monet's natural inclination to physical shows of affection. Then, there were the inevitable meetings with the other members of the 'clan', as Monet puts it.

…

I knew they weren't looking. I knew nobody is paying attention to me, and yet…It still felt stifling from the moment I walked into the cafeteria. Clinging onto Monet as much as the lack of touching allows me to, we headed to the food serving counter where several men stood, placing my tray out for whatever seemed good

Hesitantly, I peeked out from beneath my bangs at the men. Amongst them, not a single one have the ringed eyes that Monet and I do, looking as normal as most One Piece men could be. It both disappointed and terrified me at once. Why are outsiders here, when Monet said all guardians have our characteristic ringed eyes?

I jumped when one of the men noticed me.

Blinking down at me with not unkind eyes, he nodded and gave an indulging smile as if reminded of a puppy or a kid. Which, I now remember I was.

I dipped my head shyly back and looked down at my tray.

Several toasts and an apple. That felt a bit too much, given my now tiny body.

As we headed to a table of Monet's picking, I brought myself to lift my arm and tug at the edge of her shirt. She hummed, looking down at me questioningly.

"Why…" I faltered but picked myself up under her encouraging look. "Why are they here?"

It didn't take any elaboration for her to understand.

"Assistants, picked up overtime." Monet dropped a hand onto my back, squeezing my shoulder comfortingly. "Some of our charges are overprotective people. As for the others, they swore loyalty to us of their accord and are unaware of the truth. The reasons for them are…varied." She said the word as if it was loaded. "But you can trust them. You don't have to watch your back around here."

"…Did Doflamingo send someone for you too?" I asked cautiously in a whisper. If he did, I would really have to be careful around here.

"He trusts me." Monet's answering smile was blinding. "And likewise, I trust that he's capable of protecting himself while I'm gone. Only those who have established a stable relationship with their charges are called in to be guides. In these few years, I don't expect much to happen while I'm gone."

I winced.

When I'm headed to Ace, it's just about that time that Rosinante's betrayal occurs and Dressrosa is taken down. What…What can I do about that?

As I mulled, someone stepped into our path. It was a man. Clad in a simple cardigan and slacks, the side of his neck bore the mark of a _very_ familiar group of pirates. Tousled brown locks gave him a sleepy look much like a certain blue phoenix, while pierching emerald, grey-ringed eyes peered down at us…at me.

"Hey."

I 'meep'ed and ducked behind Monet's legs.

"Jin. It's been a long time." Monet bristled as if her future feathers were plucked. A slow taunting smile came to her lips. I jumped and backed away slowly from her as frost began climbing up the edges of her tray. Looks like Monet would be having frozen waffles for breakfast. "Ever since your captain gave my young master a beat down, I believe."

I shuddered. Whitebeard vs Doflamingo? I would have to face Monet someday if I join Ace in Whitebeard's crew?!

"Stop getting your panties in a twist already, woman." Jin – the man – said, his voice laced with irritation. "Remember. All alliances and rivalry are called off on this island, and-"

"-we are family here. I get it."

The frost backed off. Monet's hair stopped wriggling in that scary manner Nami's often did and I gave a sigh of relief. I blinked wide eyes back at Monet when she turned to glance at me momentarily.

"I get it." That phrase was said much softer now.

It's hard to explain _(Human emotions are always inexplicable)_ , but somehow, I just felt that thrum of worry in Monet.

I stumbled forward, shakily placing a hand on one of her legs for support.

Her hand snaked around my shoulders again, ruffling my hair gently.

"This is the one I'm supposed to guide, Skylar." She introduced. I leaned into her hand as I peered up at Jin shyly.

"Hello." I forced the word out. No need to be rude even if he's a stranger. Even if he's a human.

For a second, Jin seemed as if he was put into a wrangle from my one simple word. Then, the lost look disappeared from his eyes and something firmed up in him. I don't know how to describe it. Just…He seemed resolute as he leaned down on one knee before me, extending a tan, calloused hand that just took me aback.

"Jin. Depression and mysophobia. Died by cutting."

My eyes doubled in size. Shakily, I looked down at his hand, noticing now that it was unclothed and calloused only from fighting. _(No scars to mark the presence of the past. No soreness from constant washing.)_ It felt like that train all over again when it hits me that he had overcome his mysophobia, to the extent where he was able to _extend his hand_.

 _(Will I ever improve and become a little more like him?)_

With a trembling breath, I dared myself to lift my head.

Jin's emerald, grey-ringed eyes were still hard, still ruthless and every bit unconcerned as I'd imagine a pirate's to be. Yet, something screamed at me that he was sincere. That he wouldn't mind me a bit if I were to tell him about my condition and of how…how a-afraid of humans I am.

I lifted my hand without thinking, grabbing the large hand which enveloped mine easily.

"Skylar. A-Anthropophobia. Train crash." I stumbled over my words, closing my eyes in effort.

A moment later, I peeked up hesitatingly to see if he cared.

He didn't.

Instead, Jin shook my hand firmly, pensively.

"You know, I have some adventure novels lying around here. And none of that stinky romance shit Monet reads." Monet tossed him a dirty look. "You want me to bring them to your room next time?" He offered. The tiny accommodation to my phobia does not go unnoticed.

I felt the edges of my lips lifting up into a tiny shy smile.

I felt proud of myself for being able to take a leap of faith and trust him enough to divulge my condition. A strum of glee buzzed at the back of my head, happiness at knowing that somebody knew and didn't mind, and that he still didn't mind being associated with me.

"Ye…Yes, please."

…

By the end of my first year, that island had become what I associated as a home. With a small social network and the necessary knowledge to surviving in this world (sailing, cooking, and even some theoretical knowledge of haki), it is by the end of the first year that all Ringeyes, as we were called, were sent out with one of their guides for more widespread connection and to learn haki first-hand away from home.

Words could not express how terrified I was.

…

There, by the only port of the Nameless Island (Namae Mo Nai Island), the man stood in the midst of the morning mist on his tiny coffin raft.

Even from the distance, his looming height was obvious and his monstrosity of a sword, even more so. As we approached, the finer details of his appearance became obvious. Sharp side burns, black-ringed eyes, a darker and supposedly sweeter shade of amber than Monet's (honey yellow instead of bumblebee yellow), yet so much more piercing and intimidating. Then, the mockingly flowery coat came to view and the dark long vest hanging from his frame swayed in the wind.

If I was any normal child, I would have cried there and then under his eyes. Heck. Even now, I felt like crying staring at him.

This man is Mihawk, the other guide I was assigned to by the death god, the man who would become a shichibukai and become the best swordsman in the future.

I've heard rumours of him through Monet and Jin about how he is an exception even amongst all of us on the island – about how he committed suicide not out of desolation as most did, but boredom. Life apparently bored the strongest assassin so much that he took his life in a game of Russian roulette. With his body turned back to the vulnerable frame of a child and the numerous power giants in this world, I can only presume that Mihawk had fun challenging this world in a battle for the title of the strongest.

Until now, when he is saddled with a child.

The edges of his lips were turned down in a scowl when his eyes met mine. I froze in the spot, until two cool arms curled around my head, Monet's chin sat gently on the crown of my head.

"Well, well…Don't look so scary, Mihawk _-kun_. She's our new student – our _child_ , to put it plainly."

Honey yellow, dark-ringed eyes hardly narrowed, but I shuddered under their intensity as they shifted onto my green haired guide.

"…Your sense of humour is as tasteless as always." Mihawk's deep voice rumbled. Monet's hands were the only things holding me back from dashing to my room when the terrifying man jerked his head towards me. "Her name?"

I swallowed, feeling less brave than I did this morning. What was I thinking when I left my room with my bag in hand? I should have locked Monet out till another day!

Monet remained silent. It wasn't until I felt her fingers pushing me forward that I realized what she wanted me to do.

But there was no way. No way could I talk to Mihawk casually, as if we were equals! Even in our previous life, the difference between us is just so obvious. He's the strongest assassin his world has ever seen, and I -…I'm just a quiet nobody, afraid of even stepping out of my home. Even here, I wouldn't doubt that it's the same. There's just no way…

I turned my head around and buried my face in the crook of her neck.

I don't want to look back.

I don't want to turn and see his look of disgust.

I don't want him to see how pathetic of a human being I am.

 _(I don't want to leave home.)_

A soft sigh left a chill on the edge of my ear. I shuddered and clung to her tightly, refusing to let go. _(Because letting go means to let go of home, letting go means travelling away from safety, letting go means having to face a barrage of unfamiliar faces, judgemental human beings…)_

"Her name's Skylar." Monet squeezed her arms around me despite sounding exasperated. "She has anthropophobia. Died by a train crash, apparently."

Ways of escaping this situation burst into my head.

I could run back into my room. The mansion is just right there. I could lie and say that I'm not ready. O-Or, I could even go with Monet instead!

But…None of them would work.

Monet's too strong to escape. Doflamingo and Rosinante would only be new obstacles when it comes down to leaving with Monet. And…Mihawk is right here already, having travelled several seas to fetch me on his trip.

I'm causing so much trouble to so many people.

 _(I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry…)_

"Skylar." The call of my name had my head lifting up against my will. Mihawk's face was blank, devoid of any and all opinion as he merely settled down in the seat of his coffin raft, folding his arms patiently. "Get on the back of my ship when you're ready."

There and then, the future strongest swordsman then rested his head back and tumbled into sleep.

I watched, incredulous at this display, yet somehow finding his words moving.

He didn't tell me to get it over and done with. He didn't tell me to get braver, stronger. Mihawk just…accepted me, the way I am, and gave me however much time I needed to adapt, to 'get onto his ship'. And that felt so akin to the feeling of being accepted by a Ringeye that all of a sudden, he just seemed so much more endearing and felt so much closer.

I didn't protest when Monet lifted me off her shoulder and shoved cold fingers under my eyes, brushing the bubbling tears away.

"Pretty girls don't cry now, do they?" She smiled gently, patting my shoulders for the last time. "Now, are you ready to go with Hawkeye here?"

I sniffed and hugged my bag closer.

A large snot bubble was still hanging from his nose when I turned to glance at him, his limbs strewn carelessly as he remained largely oblivious to the world.

He's the strongest assassin, and in the future, strongest swordsman in this world, but…

…Even then, he's family.

I nodded and leaned in to give Monet one last hug before I leave.

Dashing onboard and hopping onto the back of Mihawk's seat, I yelped and stabilized myself by holding onto his seat. The boat was so much more shaky than I expected, rocking easily under the slightest weight. I imagine it would be a good way of training one's stability.

Ahead of me, the large snot bubble popped and Mihawk glanced back.

"I presume you have the necessary training in sailing." It was more a statement than a question.

I flinched, nodding nervously. Jin had been more than meticulous in teaching me that part, insisting on making sure to cover all grounds on navigation. I wonder if something in his story hinted at the need to show me the ropes, quite literally. I wonder if I even showed up at all in his other world knowledge. Ringeyes tend to have knowledge of different stories (or dramas in some cases) and never has there ever been anyone with the same world knowledge. In any case, I mentally sent him a 'thanks' when Mihawk lifted an eternal pose towards me, the intention too obvious.

I picked up the thick glass, adjusting the rudder accordingly and releasing the sail from its binds.

"Take care of yourself, Skylar." The soft whisper from Monet and her smile greeted me when I looked up.

I paused, taking in the bittersweet feeling of parting and the unspeakable longing which bubbled up. I didn't want to go, but I felt like I have to. It was somewhat like that day, when I was standing the midst of a crowd, fumbling as I waited to leap to my demise. Yet, it was different.

 _(How so?)_

There is now a home waiting for me, a home that I could return to at anytime if I missed it. It's not the final goodbye yet.

I clenched my fingers over a rope, gazing at Monet in a new light.

She's family. True family, who is part of home.

 _(Even if we meet outside the Nameless Island, even if we have to fight, I know she'd still be family.)_

I struggled to pull my lips up.

Maybe, I pulled off a smile. Or perhaps, it was an ugly grimace. Who knows? It hardly mattered to me at that point of time.

"I'll see you again, Monet."

There it is. The first sentence I could say without hesitation, grief, or even a habitual stutter. The first sentence I was able to say with a smile.

The surprise on Monet's face was so overwhelming, I ducked my head down in regret thereafter. Come to think of it, I never did thank her for everything, did I? Even though she did so much for me too…A cautious glance upwards found the smile on her face brightening.

I flushed and focused on the needle within the compass, looking away.

I feared I would disappoint her if I make her expect too much.

With a soft grumble, the boat drifted off and away from home.

…

All that could be said of the journey to the unknown island was that it was uneventful.

Nothing happened, save for an occasional sea king or two which Mihawk eradicated easily with a swing of a sword and were now being digested within our stomach, courtesy of the flame-proofed boat and a lighter which I brought. Ah, and storms. But even then, storms proved to be nothing against the almighty sword, capable of slicing even skies.

Almost everything occurred in absolute silence.

Crouching over and leaning against the back of his armchair, I spent my days rememorizing my haki books and every now and then, checking on the direction of the log pose. Clothes were changed behind his back with just a tiniest bit of doubt, which was quick to dissolve to nothing. The same went for him. The large chair blocked out the sun from me. And we slept without need for conversation.

It was…uncomfortable, but not excessively so.

Until it is.

"Skylar."

It takes a dazed moment to realize that my name was being repeated for the second time, before I jumped back into consciousness.

Mihawk loomed over my tiny comfy spot behind his chair, large hands adjusting the boat ever so precisely to slide the thin raft into a small spot between gigantic, pirate boats. I leaned back, uncomfortable with the closeness, but the reminder that we are family made me try, if only a little, to lean in and watch.

The boat stopped mere inches away from the port.

Mihawk strode out casually, tying his boat with confident hands.

I tensed at the sound of activity, at the load of partying I hear going on, bright colourful lights I see flickering, and shadows dancing drunkenly. I shuddered at the thought of having to walk through those streets, under the eyes of the many, and even some crude people. I would never fit in there, with my tiny frame and gender. I would _stand out_.

"Come."

A pale hand was offered.

I meekly peered out of my hiding spot to see the blank indifference in Mihawk's face.

What…What is he doing? Why are we doing this? Doesn't he know about my condition already? Aren't we just supposed to awaken my haki, train my abilities in it, and then head back Home? Why is he testing me even though he's family?

 _(He's family.)_

My breath hitched and I cradled my hand.

How much trust am I willing to give to a man who I've never talked to? Even though he is part of the giant home known as the Ringeyes?

 _(This much.)_

I reached out and grabbed his hand. He pulled me onto the port.

 _["What happened next haunts me to date. The thing which happened…it can only be considered a tragedy."]_

We walked away from the isolated port of the town. Away from where midnight was gradually approaching, towards the part of the island where lights lit up the streets everywhere and merrymaking made it seem no different from day.

There were stalls. Many of them, in fact. Some with bright red and white stripes decorating their signboards, others with dramatically drawn pictures in the typical Oda style; some with games as their focus, others with food as theirs - In short, it reminded me of a Japanese festival being held in celebration of some special date or event.

Then, there was the crowd.

It was…excruciating.

I clung as tightly as I could to Mihawk's pants as he wandered into the midst of moving, warm human bodies.

So much noises.

 _(Laughter cheering flirting-)_

So many scents.

 _(-sweet spicy tangly-)_

So much heat from-

 _(-the food, the human bodies, the weather and the noise and even myself-)_

Too, _too_ many people.

My breaths came short and staggered.

Then came that cliché that always had me sympathizing.

Mihawk was knocked out of my grasp by one man. Two. Three, and soon, the entire crowd was hiding him from my view, pushing me aside into an abandoned alley.

I wanted to scream in frustration, wanted to cry in desolation at my sudden whereabouts, maybe even argue with the death god about how everything is so unfair – expecting me to deal with Ace and Mihawk and _people_.

But all that didn't come.

Instead, I hunched over against a wall, balling up fistfuls of cloth in my hands.

It's like that day.

 _(Balled fabric inside pockets, crowd of moving human bodies-)_

I'm still chasing after someone unreachable.

 _(Dad, Mom…I'll come soon.)_

Still weak, vulnerable, useless, _uselessuselessuseless-!_

 _I just have to find Mihawk._

The epiphany which came to mind cooled the heat from my mind, returning a faint visage of calm to me. I breathed, fingers relaxing in their tight grip around fabric as I looked around fervently for traces of flowery cloth or a too large sword sure to make him seem like an entertainer to these people.

Lights and clothes and food came to view.

But not him.

But that is only to be expected. I'm short even for my age. How could I expect to see such finer details amidst a crowd from such a low angle? Even standing on a trash bin wouldn't help much.

I bit down a surge of panic and closed my eyes, telling myself to inhale.

What can I do besides looking? Surely, there's some other method.

" _-and the priestess is preparing for the ceremony-"_

" _-squid for two hundred beris-"_

" _-won a water balloon over there-"_

I inhaled sharply.

I get it. I can hear him.

Yet, as soon as that thought came, it quickly faltered.

Mihawk is a quiet man. He hardly makes a noise when he moves, courtesy of his background in his previous life. Not to mention, I cannot see him taking the initiative to interact with any civilians outside gathering obviously depleting resources (one can only eat sea kings so long before seasonings come to become an essential commodity).

If that route is closed, all that remains would be to find my way back by myself. But…I couldn't see myself going back to the ship without Mihawk. I always did have a poorer sense of direction than most, and the traumatizing thoughts which consumed me on the way here only worsened what memory I had of the way we took.

I'm going to have to find Mihawk.

I have no choice.

I'm going to have to learn observation haki right now, or…well, I doubt Mihawk would actually leave me, actually.

Slumping, a sigh passed my lips.

It's ridiculous, the thoughts that would come to me in a situation like this. To be more exact, it's absurd, for me to think that I would ever be able to learn haki with my weak, tiny will. With how easily I give up, it's hard to maintain hope of ever learning it even with the miracle Mihawk as my guide.

 _Clang!_

I jumped, startled when a can was flung into the trash bin near me. The culprit, a pubescent boy (still older than me physically) shouted an apology before disappearing into the crowd with his friends.

Shivering as I clasped the edges of my jacket, I inched my way into the alley.

Without the resolution to search for Mihawk, I'm just going to have to hide and wait for him to come.

" _The priestess is going to carry out the ritual now!"_

A sudden exclamation drew the attention of everyone. As one, they turned in the direction of a cliff, where a teenage girl in a miko's uniform gave a graceful smile. Standing in my tiny corner, I pinched myself to hide my growing anxiety in an excited mob. I felt not only confused, but also terribly left out by the previously celebrating civilians.

From where I stood, the comments I heard could easily be classified into three groups.

" _She's grown up so beautiful!"_ Awe.

" _The dance would be glorious, no doubt." A sigh._ Anticipation.

And then, there was-

" _It's a pity she'd be joining God tonight."_

-Dismay.

I stiffened, eyes widening as the implications of those words hit me.

'Joining God'…The olden sacrificial rituals which had been practiced came to mind.

It felt nauseating. It's a terrible mixture of denial and shock that was growing in the pit of my belly. It stifles, it suffocates, it _hurts_. It's scary, and as I looked up at the girl atop the cliff, something in me just _…changed._

 _(Thump, thump, thump.)_

I still remember every heartbeat, every rhythm, every thought that flickered through my head as I stood on that platform that day.

 _(Thump…thump…thump…)_

The girl smiles beautifully and launches into a series of beautiful dance moves, fluttering shining silk swaying behind her as she moves. She is perfect in every manner on the outside. She brings joy with every smile she throws around. And…and…

And she is _pure terrified_ of what's about to come.

 _Thump, thump, thump._

The beat which I heard does not belong to me.

Breaths quickening, eyes watering, and the continuous, distant beat of a single girl hastening in the midst of an apathetic crowd, whose pulses only increased marginally in anticipation. Something in the distant recess of my mind registered that something is wrong – that I shouldn't be hearing these sounds, _sounds of life_. But mostly, the other parts were just striken with panic.

What should I do? What _the hell can I do?_

I'm scared, so very scared.

And it's not for myself. It's for her, that nameless, unknown girl.

I don't want her to be like me. I don't want her to have to go through this, just the way I have to. Someone who's an unwilling person, who doesn't deserve all this torment, shouldn't have to do this because _she's not like me at all._

'Thump.'

The sudden halting sound of a familiar heartbeat drew my attention.

It's Mihawk, whose beat is a controlled, slow sound that rings authority with every 'thump' that so much as enters my eardrums. It's Mihawk, with all his invincible, miraculous powers. It's Mihawk, who is as much a human as the rest of us and still died despite-

…despite being an assassin.

My heart plummeted. I gazed in his direction, where a thick crowd of human bodies still obscured him from view.

'Thump. Thump.'

He's not going. He's not shifting at all. _He's not going to help_ even though-

…even though she's just like us.

' _Help'_

I hear someone whisper, a soft, quivering voice that's so frightened and tiny.

I dashed into the crowd as the girl fell off the cliff.

 _(Pain overwhelmed everything.)_

It's heart shattering and so, so very scary to hear her heart skipping a beat in fear, and yet to still hear the crowd's beating regularly, as if such an occurrence is an everyday event.

It's frightening to see her realize the moment that no one is really coming to save her.

I ran as fast as I could to – To do what? To cushion her? To catch her? I'm not thinking, but all I know was that I have to help before she – before she _dies_.

It's odd.

From the distance, I could hear her lifting her head, a gasp drawn when she sees me running forward.

The sounds of her beats faltered and grew slower, thumping in a pronounced, still hasty rhythm. I can hear her biting back a whimper as the winds brushed against her face and the ground closed in on her. She knows I can't reach her, the same way I knew it's impossible for me. Yet, it mattered because her heart strummed with gratefulness and an unexpected resolution.

' _Thank you for trying.'_

She dropped to the ground ahead with one final, loud 'thump' which everyone heard.

I faltered, steps growing heavy as I gazed forward at the thick crowd, still separating me from her.

My ears rang.

Everything is a deafening silence. I can hear a chorus of hearts, each beating in tandem, in appreciation, in boredom, in anticipation, but none of them was the one which mattered. I searched for her, the one tune that's a gentle yet brave one, only to no avail.

 _She's gone_.

The realization strikes.

Moments later, the crowd moves back into action. Children pulled their parents to various booths. Elderly sat by on benches and watched, amused and indulgent. The stall owners were shouting orders and taking orders all at once.

Nobody stopped.

Nobody cared.

I inhaled shakily as the barrier between her and I thinned, less people standing before the cliff which she had danced off.

But I don't want to see it.

 _(Can't. Can'tcan'tcan't-)_

I ran away before her body came to view, towards that one solemn, grave voice that reminded me of Mihawk's coffin ship.

…

I don't know how much time has passed, or what time it was either. Darkness is still engulfing the port, so it must still be night. Not that it mattered much.

Amidst the uncontrollable sobs that escaped, and the aged, strict voice of Mihawk's ship which scolded and rumbled, more out of unease than anger, a stray thought came to mind.

'I've finally learnt observation haki.'

This – This is haki. It's unorthodox, the way mine works, but I recognized it to be similar to Otohime's and Daisy's. I'm able to hear people's inner voices, hear their heartbeats and recognize the various emotions they're undergoing the same way Otohime did with emotions and Daisy did when the Lily Carnation absorbed Luffy's crew. B-But…

… _I don't want it._

The realization made me bury my face into my bag, drawing a long resigned sigh from Mihawk's ship.

I don't want to hear people's emotions. I don't want to talk to them, much less know what they think of me. I don't want it for the costs that it comes with…for the cost which it already came at.

The epiphany which strikes me felt like a punch to the gut.

The same controlled beat approached our tiny ship steadily.

I bit my lip when he came into view, honey yellow dark-ringed eyes piercing, pale face indifferent, the same way he was even as he saw her die.

"We will set off at dawn." He stated, throwing a bag of fruits into the back of his chair, right beside me.

It felt like something cracked. I knew what it was, and refused to acknowledge it. Glaring at Mihawk as he stepped onto the boat, I clenched my fists and tried my hardest to bite down the anger, only to no avail.

"You knew this was going to happen." Our first line exchanged without stuttering is one filled with accusation. Mihawk's ship reproached me in the background, a voice which I hardly heard in the midst of the red which filled my eyes.

Mihawk glanced at me.

"The Kono Island carries out a sacrificial ritual every ten years to honour their god."

He didn't deny it.

Oh god.

I bit my lip, cursing myself when tears stung my eyes. Anger has always been just as crippling as sadness is for me. The tears never helped to make my anger seem any more rational, or lessen it in any way for that matter. In fact, it only worsens the fury building in my chest.

I don't want to say anything. Couldn't, because I'm so infuriated and disappointed that I can't find words to appropriately express myself.

Instead, I breathed, strolled to him where he sat, and did the one thing that could encompass everything I felt.

I tossed a punch at his eye.

…

"DAHAHAHAHA! What's with that look, Hawkeye?! A new fashion trend?!"

Predictably, my dignified guide only rise to his feet and stepped onto the island, all but flinging himself into a full blown fight with the still four-limbed Shanks.

Sinking deeper into my hiding spot, I absently listened to the pronounced presences of Mihawk and Shanks as they fought toe to toe, even drunk as Shanks is. The sounds of cheering from an equally intoxicated crew had me wincing in pain. I could detect traces of a hangover in the beat of their hearts and from the sluggishness of their voices. It was not pleasant in the least.

Still, I'm not going out.

I absolutely refuse to talk to that man.

For all that he is family, he is still a scumbag of a man. Abandoning that girl to her fate…not even the minor twitch to show any disconcertment. Unfeeling bastard indeed.

' _Forgive my master.'_ Ankoku (Darkness), Mihawk's boat, whispered in a sigh. _'He only means well.'_

I shuttered and hugged myself, covering my ears with my hands.

I didn't want to talk.

With a sigh, Ankoku fell silent.

Sounds of metal drifted over the wind.

I could hear the tell tale difference when armament haki surged into their respective swords and made the metals meet with a brighter, louder 'clink'. I could hear the amusement pulsing in the redhair pirate crew's beats, and a strum of confusion humming dazedly in Shanks'. And most of all, a set of footsteps approaching me, its beat discomfortingly similar to Mihawk's.

"Ah-Ha! Knew my eyes weren't lying to me!" A tan hand draped over the back of the chair.

I jumped despite knowing that he was coming.

Blonde curls and beady dark eyes were familiar. I identified him as Yasopp, father to the so-called 'God' Usopp, and a sniper in profession.

I shrunk back from him, turning my head away petulantly.

Yasopp only flung himself into the tiny space beside me, refusing to take a hint.

"Now, what's a kid like you doing onboard his ship? Did Hawkeye kidnap you? You need us to kidnap you back from him?" He was lucky I already knew about his crew's weirdness, to not be boggled by the way he phrased his words.

I shook my head to the later two questions, refusing to answer the first.

"Hawkeye's got lucky with a woman, huh. Pity the poor lady to have to deal with a prissy man like him."

Against my will, I found myself snorting into a hand. It was partially irony and dark humour, since Yasopp was the one who's saying that, of all people. Then, there was the fact that Monet had joked about them being together back home. If they got together, I wouldn't know who to pity more. Monet, for being stuck with him, or Mihawk, for having affectionate Monet stuck to him.

I dropped my hands from my ears and listened, for the first time since that incident.

Yasopp's beat was still curiously steady and controlled despite the amusement in his voice.

"Finally got you to laugh, huh."

'Thump. Thump. Thump.'

It's clear of the drowsiness that's in the others', clear of the growing confusion in Shanks', and the pauses between each beat were always constant – resembling Mihawk's far too much for comfort.

I shrunk back, giving him a befuddled look.

"Hm? What's wrong?" Yasopp tilted his head in confusion. Yet, his heart remained the same.

I hesitated, fingers tapping the deck twice, before leaning in to hear with much clarity how his heartbeats were very much like Mihawk's.

"…Why?" I asked finally, lifting my eyes up to his.

Yasopp seemed to withhold himself from blanching at seeing my eyes, yet his rhythm still never changed.

"Why what?" He asked.

"…why are your heartbeats so controlled?"

Confusion overtook his features for a second, before understanding settled in and he grinned.

"Ah! Your hearing's sharp, kid." Yasopp chuckled, lifting a pistol from his pocket that had me tensing. "Don't get all stiff. This is just a tool of trade. I'm a sniper, you see? Need to have steady hands each time I snipe or my aim would be messed up."

"But…I thought that only matters for archers?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"Well, that's true!" Yasopp burst out in laughter. "But y'know…If I can't work with any long ranged weapon that crosses my path, how can I be considered a sniper?"

I blinked, stunned. That's…a stupid yet oddly inspiring mindset.

"Oops! Seems like the crew's gonna be opening a new barrel. Catch you later, kid!"

I curled into myself as I remembered Mihawk's steady beats. Even now, when he's fighting a worthy opponent, it's hardly changing any. Was it a side effect of his previous occupation, or is it possible for someone to really be that apathetic? If that girl hadn't died…most likely, someone else would have taken her place, and there would still have been casualties.

I curled in on myself in guilt.

He let me hit him.

Mihawk let me hit him.

Whether that decision was made out of sympathy or guilt, I don't know, but…he took that punch wordlessly, accepted my ire without comment.

I sighed.

I wish he had just stopped me from punching him.

That night, as the Red Force sailed away with its cohort of never sober pirates, we sat upon Ankoku in total silence. I hesitantly made my way to the front of the chair, pulling a bottle of alcohol and cotton wool from my bag. Crouching before an apathetic Mihawk, I wordlessly cleaned his cuts before gently massaging the edges of his black eye with some natural oil I had on hand.

Mihawk silently accepted the gesture.

…

At age eight, I had observation haki down and knew the basics of defending with armament haki. As it turns out, observation haki tends to be what most Ringeyes lean towards to, given our various conditions. Armament came surprisingly easy for me, given how I acquired its counterpart. Mihawk merely commented that I was made to protect – a somewhat flattering praise that brought to mind those times I dared to stroll out of house with my younger brothers. _(I could hardly think of ever wanting to protect Ace though.)_

With our frequent run-ins with the Red Force, we grew more familiar with the Redhair pirates than either of us would have liked. Shanks, who by now is obviously Mihawk's charge, is boisterous in every way possible. Benn is more tolerable and respectful of boundaries, while Lucky is easy to please, so long as I killed a sea king to gift him every now and then. Yasopp rambles about his son too much. Between training and the many too coincidental meetings with Red Force, the voyage with Mihawk passes timelessly.

Then came the inevitable:

I got a bounty.

…

"Ne, ne, why are you always locking yourself in your room?"

"Come out and play with us! It'd be fun, I promise!"

I sniffled and buried myself deeper into the comforter, tracing words with my fingers in a futile attempt to focus.

I can still remember, much too vividly, the expression that my other guide had taken on the moment he caught a glimpse of my bounty. His lips had pulled down into a scowl, honey yellow dark-ringed eyes turning so dark they practically screamed malicious intent (more than they already do), and for several seconds, the aura that he radiated felt as if Yoru was broken, bandaged, and used as a replacement for the large cross on a church.

The sea had quivered as all sea kings within a mile's radius of us backed the hell out of there.

I was pretty tempted to throw myself into the sea and swim far away from him, myself.

Then, he calmed. But it was with a glint in his hawk like eyes that I didn't like at all.

An eternal pose was bought off the shelf of a tourist spot in Paradise. I navigated Ankoku there. Nail clippings were removed from me to make a vivre card. Mihawk neatly sliced a piece off with his dining knife, dumped me onto a strangely familiar island, told me to find Monet, and sailed the fuck away.

Lost and stuck in the mentally of 'wth just happened', I searched for Monet as he said, clung onto her tightly, before finding myself in a conversation with Doflamingo. The one-sided conversation more or less went along the lines of this:

"She's my love-child with Hawkeye." Monet beamed.

I shook my head desperately at Doflamingo from where I hid behind her back. The flamingo looks amused.

"Obviously, because she has grey eyes instead of yellow." He deadpanned.

"It's just a genetic mutation." Monet waved it off flippantly, curling an arm around my shoulder like always.

I relaxed against my will, still shaking my head at Doflamingo. One would argue that no one should be so relaxed around a mass killer, but with Monet here, I feel protected, safe. And Doflamingo has never been one of those villains who hardly cared about their lackeys.

I felt Doflamingo appraising me behind pink sunglasses and I inched closer to Monet.

"Another one of your Ringeyes secret, huh." The comment was made bitterly, but surprisingly, with some acceptance. "How long is she staying?"

"A month or two at most." Monet smiled softly.

"Sure."

Just like that? I remember feeling incredulous at that point of time. It was kind of like Brook's entry into the Straw Hats. But as all things unrelated to the Straw Hats are, nothing is ever so simple. Doflamingo levelled me with a look behind sunglasses, fingers wiggling in a manner that shot shudders down my spine.

"As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I expect her to pull her own weight around here. And no betrayals around here in that time or I will. Hunt. You. Down." Doflamingo grinned.

I jolted and scrambled back behind Monet's legs.

"I'm sure she wouldn't do that…ne, Sky?" Monet ruffled my hair playfully.

I nodded mutely.

…Which brings me to my situation now.

"At least come out and eat dinner with us! We won't bite you!" Baby 5 called out.

"That's right-dasuyan! Although Law might…"

"That's enough, children. Why don't you head back to the dining room while I bring Skylar her food?" Monet's voice rang out as she rapped gently, politely on my door. I shuffled to the doorknob, thick comforter still covering my head and providing some semblance of security.

"Aw…I wanted to see her too. But okay!"

"Dinner-dasuyan!"

I waited for the sounds of footsteps to trail away before cracking my door open. Monet entered and closed the door behind her, chuckling at my cloth-covered head.

"How cute."

A plate was handed over. Katsudon is the dinner tonight, it seems. I dug in with much fervour, while Monet did the same with her own much more demurely. One can only eat sea kings for so long, flavoured or not, before the craving for other foods settle in. I wonder if Mihawk is eating properly. That man had hardly been eating anything other than sea kings till I travelled with him. 'It's a waste of sleeping time.' He said once when I asked him. What an absurd man.

I wonder where he is going. The last he had that glint in his eyes, he had dragged me onto an island and promptly beat the armament haki into me. It didn't feel like he's going to do anything good.

I frowned as I caught myself in my thoughts.

…I miss him.

"Why don't you go out more?" The unexpected question took me by surprise. Monet chewed her food absent-mindedly before she talked. "I know you're afraid of people, but the people here won't judge. I mean, they didn't do it with me."

She twirled a piece of hair around a finger. It's a nervous habit she'd developed, even way back on Nameless Island with Jin.

"They're all pretty weird people themselves, so they're no stranger to people of all sorts. In fact-" She rambled.

I blinked, confused.

Why is Monet so insistent on getting me to interact with her family? It takes hardly any effort by now to summon my observation haki, to reach out to the distant voices all around me, which I tried to ignore. Monet's heart was buzzing with worry and confusion when I listened, which only grows more puzzling because she herself isn't sure of what she wanted.

' _They are family.'_ Her voice, a soft diligent yet fond one, whispered, as if murmuring a secret to me.

And I get it.

Monet wants me to try to know her family, because she wishes to see all the ones she loves get along and be happy. Even if we end up on opposite sides in the future, she still struggles to attain that dream.

It's a tiny and impossible wish, but it's hardly ridiculous at all.

"Okay." I said softly, interrupting Monet in her long ramble.

"-Eh?"

"Okay." I repeated.

Whatever Monet wants, I don't mind doing even if it goes against my phobia. She's family afterall. The same goes for Mihawk, and though I'm not sure whether he himself realizes that, I know it'll be a long time coming before he ever reaches out of his own accord and asks for something.

"Just-" My voice came out strangled at the prospect of socializing with such…strong and unnerving humans. I reached out and clung tightly to her fingers, looking down at my half-eaten katsudon in shame. "Please don't let me go when I meet them." My face flushed. "Please." I repeated.

The shock melts off her face and she laughs, wrapping arms around me appreciatively.

"I won't let go of you in the slightest. If you want, we can even be attached at the hip, quite literally." Her hands cooled to the temperature of ice as the teasing lilt returned to her words, freezing my mug. I yelped when my tongue got stuck to it and she laughed, releasing me from my binds.

I looked down and smiled. She hasn't changed in the least.

…

We started first with breakfast.

The next day, toddling behind Monet like a baby duck with its mother, I followed Monet into the room whilst hiding behind her legs. At first, hardly any of the room's occupants noticed, most still being stuck in their dreamland. Then, one by one, I felt the stares of several haki users falling upon me, each quickly flickering back to their food in indifference. The adults hardly cared or tried to interact with me, save for a nod of acknowledgement from Senor and a curious look from Jora. Then, the kids noticed.

"Eh~~~ So you're Skylar!" Baby5 walked up to me, garnering a flinch.

I peeked out at her from behind Monet's legs. She's just a little taller than me, but still small for someone who's supposed to be two years older. Recalling the details of her childhood, I'm not very surprised in the least.

"Nice to meet you-dasuyan!" Buffalo is sixteen, I think, but he still seems like a child beside the mature countenances of the adults around the table. Round, with the same hairstyle as when he's older but lacking the painted teeth, he looks like he's…well, stuck in his prepubescent years.

I nervously glanced up towards the table and winced under the intense stare that Law was directing at me.

I hid my face in Monet's thigh.

Baby5 and Buffalo made sounds of confusion, looking at each other oddly.

"Ne, you…Is it possible that you can't speak?" Baby5 was the one who asked.

I cringed, eyes flickering in the direction of that one dark feathered blonde, sitting beside his brother silently.

It's an innocent question though, coming from a genuine child (not like myself). It's the same as a question of whether the sky is blue.

I turned back to them and shook my head, hesitating before opening my mouth.

"I…don't like speaking." I whispered.

They looked puzzled, about to ask more, when Monet bodily lifted me off the ground and sat me in the seat beside her – which was just beside Law, much to my discomfort.

"Baby5, Buffalo, I'm sure you have questions, but for now, let's eat, shall we?" Monet beamed like the angel she is as she saved me. "The food's going to get cold."

The kids looked at each other and nodded.

"Yay! Food!" Buffalo all but charged into his seat.

"Pancakes! Pancakes!" Baby5 sang.

I slunk into my seat, irked at the noise, but at the same time, finding it relaxing how similar they are to Shanks and his crew. This would be a good observation to point out to Mihawk later.

…

Then, we followed that up with lunch.

"This is?" Jora lifted a brow delicately, watching as the still toddler Dellinger gobble down slices of meat between sips of green smoothie. Sitting on the other side of Monet, I don't know if she was referring to Dellinger's food or the pile of meat sitting atop the dining table, but Monet answered both anyways.

"It's sea king meat, tenderized and grilled with a dash of garlic, teriyaki sauce, and sesame seeds. The thing that Dellinger is drinking is blended seaweed smoothie. Skylar thought natural seafood would appeal more to Dellinger's palate." Monet said proudly.

I ducked my head in embarrassment, swallowing a mouthful of sea king. It's hard to go a single day without it now, given how it used to be my staple for all three meals.

"Huh." Jora said merely, but sounding amazed.

"'ank wou." Dellinger said around a mouthful of food.

"…you're welcome." I whispered back to him, finding the toddler adorable.

…

Subsequently, we trained.

The sound of wind being sliced approached. I hardened the outer edges of my skin and successfully defended myself against an attack from Baby5. With gritted teeth, she lifted her bladed arms once more and attempted to cut me.

 _Clank! Clank! Clank!_ …the attacks went.

This training might definitely not be as beneficial as the training Law is receiving from the various members of the Family (or famiglia, as I called them, following the Italian mafiaso tradition), but it is honing my reaction time and drawing more from Baby5 and her devil fruit powers. I hoped she would be able to learn armament haki to prevent her blades from being chipped, but it didn't seem to be working, oddly enough. At least, she's becoming able to maintain her transformation for longer.

Something grabbed me suddenly.

I saw Monet out of the corner of my eyes, still far away in the mansion and watching us from the window – but who could it be then?!

Tasteless pink hearts entered my view. (A heartbeat singing apologies.)

Rosinante.

I had barely deadpanned before I was flung out of town and island, into the deep blue sea.

Sinking. The salt water stings.

I swam back up and spewed water from my mouth, breathing calmly.

Should have known that'd happen sooner or later.

(Well, at least I totally don't have to worry about interaction with him.)

Something buzzed on the edge of my senses, a familiar feeling of aggression as a thumping heart drew near…from down below.

Just my luck.

Deadpanning, I read its intentions – to bite into me at the middle and kill in one strike – and applied armament haki to my middle section.

Moments later, when the sea king rose up for a gobble, it yelped and wriggled when the bite shattered its teeth immediately like glass. It tilted its head upwards in pain, latching onto me for the ride, and I gave a stunned yelp when I was tossed down its opened mouth by the momentum.

I withdrew Mihawk's 'dining knife' from my pocket (a gift from him) and sighed as gravity pulled me downwards.

This is going to stink.

.

.

.

It really did.

Pulling the sea king up to the island by the tail, I shuddered at the reminder of the stench. A bath at the sea had gotten rid of whatever things the sea king had ate, but the stench would be engraved in my mind forever. No being devoured by sea kings, it is. Well at least, my lunch had gotten a good rinse and salt bath in the process.

It took several moments to try and slice the monster of a fish into pieces. Even with haki, the short knife could hardly cut layers of fat effectively.

Grabbing the meatiest portion, I dashed in the direction of the backyard, thinking anxiously about how I should ask if Baby5 or Dellinger wanted to share the fish with me.

(If I had ignored my anxiety, I would have sensed Law in the distance, gaping at me.)

…

The library is calm and soothing, the place which I liked the most in this trash heap mansion, besides my room. Books piled upon books, creating an educated, dignified air that's a stark contrast against the piles of metallic trash that's outside. On occasion, I would enter the place without Monet in the corners. It's…just the feeling of security that the library provides, lending a bubble that wraps me up and protects me from all human interaction.

But today, there is someone.

Today, Senor is in there.

Seated at a table with his legs up on the table and for once, lacking a cigar in his mouth, the impeccably dressed man held a leather bound book between his hands, eyes shifting behind dark sunglasses (What's with the Don Quixote famiglia and sunglasses anyways?) and tracing words.

I stopped, contemplating.

I've considered every single one of their back stories, thought about everything that I could possibly change _(that could possibly end up hurting Monet in the process)_ and the Senor's is the only thing I could really change. (Law's fine the way he is, even if Rosinante ends up passing on. Luffy needs someone to save him at the end, someone to ally with him in the New World. I can't take an ally from him.)

But even then…it's scary to have to instigate a conversation of my own accord.

Senor lifted his head, no doubt already sensing me from the first moment I stepped in, and spoke.

"It's about time for a tobacco." And he closed the book, rose to his feet, and begun a gradual walk to the door.

It's hard to not notice given what I've seen of him in the show.

He's accommodating me and my anthropophobia, using an excuse to help.

"E-Erm!" I turned around, clutched fistfuls of cloth as I looked down at the carpeted ground. The steady footsteps stopped. "…I-Is the Don Quixote family important to you?"

What a confusing way to start a conversation.

I peeked upwards to see him nod.

"Yes, of course." He didn't ask why I wanted to know though. Considerate fella he is.

"A…Are all your loved ones here?" I asked again.

For a second, he didn't answer. I know he's thinking, thinking of my objectives, thinking of his wife, thinking of his child…i-if he's already born, that is.

"…Why do you ask?" He finally questions my intentions. Can't let anyone get to his family, but can't deny that his whole life isn't just about his famiglia. Senor is honest in that way.

"Because." I bit my lip, reminded of Monet in that instance as I spoke the next few words carefully. "Because if your family really loves you, I think they'll put whatever bias they have away and still accept you just the way you are. Sure, they'll need time to adjust, but eventually…if they really love you, they'll at least _try._ "

Senor was silent, but I could see the gears turning in his head. He's drawing parallels, parallels between me and my anthropophobia, and Monet – parallels between him and his wife.

Finally, _finally_ , he gave a nod.

"You Ringeyes…always did have the habit of knowing things you shouldn't. Monet said the same things as you did." She did? I blinked wide eyes, realizing that Monet must know his backstory too, if she decided to help him. Senor extracted a cigar from his pocket and walked off, giving a backwards wave with the parting words: "I'll talk to her about it."

Days later, Senor took a leave from the piracy (which is funny, all things considered).

He returned with a red mark on his face, but walked with a hop in his usually dignified step. The Don Quixote pirates, as a whole, soon began visiting the neighbouring town, Dumble Town a lot more.

…

All things are peaceful until they're not.

…

That breakfast was a generally peaceful one lacking in chaos. Rosinante was, in one of his rare days, hardly setting his coat on fire or tripping while seated. Baby5 pranked him as usual, switching out his tea for hot Tabasco as per my suggestion. People feasted on pizza calmly, or wolfed it down in their usual respective manners. Everything was like the peaceful mornings I've grown used to, till the moment Doflamingo sat the paper down.

"Skylar." I froze under the sudden attention of all around the table. "You are Hawkeye's only crew member, aren't you?"

I shivered at the intensity of his gaze and leaned in closer to Baby5. It sucks that the only free seats left today were opposing sides of the table, but if Monet wasn't there, at least Baby5 was. My friend did not shirk away from my touch, instead leaning in closer in comfort.

"I-I…"

' _Come on, tell him.'_ Baby5 coaxed with her gaze.

Despite the frown on his face, Doflamingo seems to be only curious, too.

I swallowed.

"I am, temporarily." Because a crew is someone sailing on the same ship as you, and I don't know what I am to Mihawk specifically.

"Hawkeye defeated the strongest swordsman in the world." Doflamingo announced to deafening silence, throwing the newly folded newspaper in my direction. I caught it, stunned. "Subsequently, he signed up as a shichibukai as the new strongest swordsman."

"What the-?" Jora gasped.

Equally surprised reactions were seen around the table.

I unfolded the news to find myself peering down at the wanted poster of him. And me, as a side note to this entire barrage of sudden events.

The news described the events in detail, basically talking about how Mihawk had caught up to the strongest swordsman on his home island and fought him in a match to death. Upon winning, the newly crowned strongest was 'caught by the marines' and 'surrendered to the terms of contract as a shichibukai'. The more likely events, I think, was that Mihawk was injured, nursed himself to health, then went to the cowering marines and demanded to be a shichibukai, using the title of the strongest as bait. News was always biased towards pirates.

In either case, our bounties were now frozen, with me tagged under a question mark. Since I was nowhere to be found, the reporters questioned the loyalty of Mihawk's new and only crewmate, but nevertheless, since Mihawk demanded it, the marines still cancelled my bounty.

I sat, frozen stiff for several minutes until the news finally sunk in.

Whether or not Mihawk actually did this in the story, the Mihawk of this world – actual live and suicidal human – still became a shichibukai in order to prevent the marines from coming after me – to help me be able to guide my charge without problems.

He sacrificed himself, in short, so that I'd be safe.

It felt like I was set on flames there and then.

"Monet, is there an eternal pose to-" I glanced at the news. "-Ishi Island?"

"What?" Monet blinked, amber and brown-ringed eyes widening in bewilderment. "You can't go there now!"

"I will swim if I have to." I answered her gravely.

"Skylar-!" Her exasperated shout was interrupted by an amused Doflamingo.

"There's a ship by the harbour you can take."

"Young master!" It's the first I've heard Monet so angered.

"…you're going now?" Baby5 asked softly, her voice tiny amidst the bewildered conversations the adults burst out at the news.

I looked down at her, seeing her younger self in that instance. Surely, to her, it must feel like I'm abandoning her the same way her mother did. I leaned in and gave her a tight hug, and while it felt nice to have human contact with someone I care about, I would later lament that my first given hug is one that's filled with panic and rush.

"We're friends forever, kay?" I smiled at her.

Baby5 hesitated and smiled back.

"Write to me." She demanded.

I nodded in reply.

"Skylar." Monet scowled as she stood up. "I get it. At least let me call home for a ship-"

"No need." I blinked.

"What-?" She asked, on the verge of tearing her beautiful hair out.

The doors flung open and Shanks entered with a large grin on his face, my vivre card in a hand.

"Hey, Sky! We're here to get you to your daddy dearest! Dahahaha!" Shanks laughed.

I smiled at the picturesque look of befuddlement on each and every one of their faces (save for Doflamingo) and bowed in their leader's direction. It's uncharacteristic for me to be so bold and I hardly cared amidst the urgent need to see Mihawk, but-

"Thank you for your hospitality." I meant that, truly and sincerely.

"Get that drunkard out of here already." Doflamingo waved a hand in Shanks' direction.

I nodded, and after giving a frozen Monet (hahaha) a hug, left in the arms of said smelly drunkard.

…

I kicked Mihawk in the thigh when we next met. After Mihawk tried to skewer me with Yoru, I gave him the mother of hugs.

Just like that, with Mihawk's new status as a shichibukai and strongest, and me myself with a newly attained pen pal, we spent the next two years travelling and training.

…

 _["What happened thereafter, you should know."]_

In the privacy of his room and with Luffy knocked out right beside him, Ace played the shell for the second time that day, taking the words with a knowledge of what's to come.

 _["Afterall, it's how we met."]_ She laughed. _["That day, I took one of the merchant ships headed out to East Blue from the Nameless Island. After being dropped off on Dawn Island, I took a moment to scan the island with my haki, to locate you. Following your presence, I travelled through Foosha Village, climbing up Mount Corvo, following your tracks along the river side…It was only at dawn that I had actually manage to catch up to you.]_

Ace closed his eyes, listening to Luffy's breathing as he imagined that day from her eyes.

…

He sees the dreamy sights of his home again. The animals which are apparently abnormally big, as he knows now; the river which she talked about, which surge and crashes like a waterfall on days when there are storms. He sees her, tiny and little again, grey ringed eyed as she hopped across the stones to arrive at the other side of the lake.

Ace could see her closing her eyes in concentration as she felt for him – a presence filled with hatred and self-loathing, as she once confessed at night. Or – Does she ever need to close her eyes again? Ace could hardly remember her doing that when they're younger.

Either ways, she follows him. Tracking up the uneven path. In winding circles, which Ace took to improve his stability when he was younger-

-only to see him climbing up a plank, a hoop made from rope hanging from the tree in hand.

…

I froze, memories of that horrid day with Mihawk flying back to mind.

 _(Girl dancing on the edges of a cliff, a smile forced onto her face as hands clapped for her amongst the crowd-)_

 _(-nobody helping, everyone cheering-)_

 _('Thank you')_

No. Nononono… _nononononoNO!_

I knocked out the plank from underneath him, kicking it off the cliff and throwing him to the ground.

"What the hell-?!" The boy – _who's he again? Right, Ace. Right. –_ spat, loathing and shock in his voice as I flung myself on him, all but locking his wrists in place with my fingersbecause – _anything, it's best for anyone to have done anything instead of nothing, to help instead of watching…of helping_ us _die._

" _Don't do it! You don't know what death is like!"_ I shouted…?

It's unclear. Something's filling up my mind, detonating every shred of hope that Mihawk and Monet have somehow inserted into my heart. Something's taking over me and screaming words I would have never dared to scream.

" _Death is cruel and merciless and anything but helpful! Nothing's going to resolve with death, even if you think at first that it absolves you of everything!"_

Forced into a different world with a wave of the hand

Charged with taking care of a person I didn't know

Trapped without any of my family and all so very _alone_

" _Sure you may feel alone now! But how can you be certain that one day, there won't be someone who would come to treasure you?! How can you be absolutely certain that someone won't feel sad, that someone won't cry, that someone won't miss you after you die?!"_

T…That's right.

That's totally right.

But…why am I saying this when I'm the one who went and died?

 _(Alone in the midst of a crowd.)_

 _(Pain…So very lonely and painful as the authorities yelled and leapt down beside me, gloved hands reaching out._

" _Somebody, help her!" Someone screamed._

 _I felt like laughing in my last moments, because this happened precisely since no one helped.)_

" _If you're lonely and you don't speak up, how can we even know what the problem is? How can we even help when you don't let us?"_

Why didn't I speak up?

Why didn't I?

Tears are stinging my eyes. It's confusing. It hurts. And I wanted to shake Ace by the shoulders, get it into his head that he shouldn't die _like I shouldn't have died._

" _Treasure yourself more and start thinking about living already!"_

Because life is not just about death, and it is _So. Much. More_.

…

Deafening silence resounded in the room for the longest time.

Where he laid with a snoring Luffy, Ace imagined her when she was recording this, hiding in the room she must have had on the Nameless Island, and couldn't help but think bitterly – So much for taking your own advice.

 _["It's ironic. That here I am, planning my own death again."]_ She whispers.

Ace closed his eyes.

The image from yesterday was still present in his mind.

She was dead yesterday. Today. Even tomorrow.

In a way, she was dead to begin with.

 _["I-I…"]_ Her voice _cracked_ , and it takes all Ace has to withhold from crying again for his friend as he tightened his hold around Luffy. _["I'm so sorry, Ace."]_ She forced out with a calmness that was never suited to her, before a sniffle brought all her effort to waste. _["M-Mn…I…I DON'T WANT TO DIIIEE!"]_ She wailed.

He imagined it and felt his heart aching for her.

In a tiny room all by herself, Skylar recorded this. In that tiny room, she admitted it to herself, to him. Yet…nobody came to help, just like in her previous life. Unlike him.

 _["I'm sorry for screaming at you that day. I'm sorry for planning to take your place. I'm so, so sorry for all the trouble I've caused…*sniff*…and still am causing."]_

The words came flowing out of the tone dial quickly. She was rambling, tripping over her words now and then, but Ace listened anyways. _(Just like she would have wanted him to.)_

 _["I'm sorry that I don't want to die…I've finally learnt how to live too…I'm sorry you have to see me like that. Hear me, like this. You must think I'm so pathetic, aren't you? I'm sorry."]_

 _["But…I'm not sorry I took your place."]_

Ace flinched. Even the second time, hearing that still drew a bodily reaction from him.

 _["It's true that as guardians, we're supposed to let our charges choose how they die. It's true that you're the one who chose to protect Luffy in that manner, by giving your life. But I don't want you to die that way. And as your ex-first mate…I hope I have some say in how you die."]_

Of course. She's as selfish as always.

 _["I want you to move on. Do whatever you want in your life. Maybe get married, have kids, and settle down somewhere before dying as an old man. Now, I know that's too mundane a way for you to go, so it's fine too if you go out flashily with a bang. Not a literal bang though. I don't want to see you in heaven because of an explosion, you get me?"]_ She's panicking over her own words. It made Ace smile despite himself.

 _["I don't know how heaven's going to deal with me, now that I've told you the truth, but whatever comes, I'm ready for it. So…don't worry about me and be happy, okay?"]_

With Luffy in one arm and her shell in another, that felt achievable.

Ace is still lost even now, lost without a captain or a first-mate. There was no direction and no support. But where he was going, he's sure he'd still find some remnants of hope to cling onto, just like he'd already found one in the form of Luffy.

 _["Right."]_ She sniffed, regaining her composure. _["Now that I've fulfilled my promise and told you about my past, I was hoping that you'd be able to help me do something."]_

Now, this was the part he was replaying the dial for.

Ace sat up, listening attentively as he tried to remember the instructions this time round.

 _["My adventure is ending in a day's time, but our little brother's isn't. I may not be a member of Luffy's crew or even his guide, but which big sister doesn't wish for her little brother to be a bit safer?"]_

Ace snickered at the smile he most definitely heard in her voice. She's speaking as if she doesn't want to just throw a giant 'fuck you' to the death god which sent her here.

 _["In my hideout on the Hanana Island, I've left a bunch of letters addressed to various people which will make Luffy's trip in two years smoother. Take those along with you in your journey and pass them on to their respective recipients. Depending on the recipients, you might have to get some other people to guide you to them, but I'm sure you of all people will be able to handle it."]_

Ace wanted to groan.

 _["Don't die, Ace."]_

The pause lasted for a long time this time round, as if she had more to say, but was never quite able to put it into words. Finally, quietly, the tone dial 'click'ed to signal the end of the recording she had left him, and the sound was a sweet, melancholic one in the wake of her words.

"Ordering your commander around now? That's insubordination." He whispered, smiling down at the shell.

The ache in his heart still hasn't faltered or numbed, but he now had a direction, an adventure she planned solely for him.

He'd be damned if he doesn't go on it.

…

A/N: I don't know if this story is any good at all. Please tell me what you think about it.

Notes:

(1) 'Ringeyes' – I attribute all credit about that to Oda and 'My Heavenly Judgement' by colbub. Along with the idea of clans and an island full of these so-called Ringeyes.

(2) Idea about Tone Dial – I have been inspired by '13 Reasons to Die'. I repent.

(3) Luffy and Ace sharing bed/room – Once again, attribute this idea to the many OP fanfics with this brotherly scene, like 'Unexpected Emergencies' by Blueh and 'Somewhere to Belong' by Pizza yum. Any story with this scene tends to be good stories

(4) Letters/Tone Dial both – 'Across the Sun' by Liz Hollow. Best moving story ever in all fandom, not just Pokemon

(5) Idea of Sacrificial Ritual – 'Pluck down the stars from Heaven' by XxZuiliu

(6) Mysophobia – Sigh. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this one, because it's the only one I can't empathize with and yet still drew into this story. If you want to rant about this in a review, please do. I don't wish to incorrectly portray those with mysophobia

(7) Anthropophobia – Personal experience. Don't pity me though. It's been getting better with help from a friend. If there are any others with this same condition (and I jerk at the use of this word, because it's not really the best way to describe a human being; no better way to say it though), please share your story if you're comfortable with it.


	2. Chapter 2

Learning to Live

II: Learning to Talk

…

A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed, favourited, or followed! I appreciate your show of interest in this story! To Gerbilfriend, I'm glad you like my version of the characters. It thought they were a bit OOC tbh. To treavellergirl, thank you so much for that narrative-like review. Going back to reading it always makes me push past my writer's blocks. ;) Hope you guys enjoy this new chapter!

…

Narration

 _Words with Emphasis_

 _(Inner thoughts / memories)_

…

' _I understand' is a phrase that is too commonly misused. Nobody can truly understand what you feel, even if they've been in your shoes once. They are them, and you are you. We all experience things differently, feel things to various degrees, and our decisions are always inspired by reasons that are not the same._

 _Even amongst those with anthropophobia, the world we each see is different._

 _Some turned out this way because we were never taught the proper way to step out into the world. Others, because nobody cared enough to stop our thoughts from derailing into this abyss. Then, there are those who were so badly hurt that they decided to retreat and never look out into this muddy, obscure world._

 _I am one of them._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _It's hard to remember clearly the string of events that occurred. This happened so long ago, you see? But…I recall that back then, I was still a sensitive young girl of five, hardly the age where one's meant to be jaded. Living in my block and surrounded by my friendly family and neighbours, I had never wandered out of the residential area on my own._

 _In that tiny idyllic world of mine, the one who plucked me out of my roots was a girl._

 _Joey, her name was. It's hard to forget, given that she's my only childhood friend and the only other kid around who's my age._

 _With gentle hands, she guided me out of the area where I'm familiar with, out of home and family with a flippant promise that she'd bring me back thereafter._

 _She never did._

 _Instead, abandoning me in the middle of the crowded street, she easily broke her promise with a lollipop still stuck between her teeth, waving me away like a bug._

" _It's close by, isn't it? You should be able to get home by yourself."_

 _I looked around, at the unfamiliar surroundings, at the lack of family nearby, at the uncaring expression on her face, obviously unconcerned by my profound desperation. I pleaded with her, clung to her, and never reminded her of her promise because – she's my friend, so she should remember the promise she made, shouldn't she?_

 _I'm scared, so very scared._

 _She might as well have carved my heart out of her body when she left, in the opposing direction, to go back to_ her _house._

 _Trapped._

 _Hurts._

 _Confused._

 _I don't understand._

 _The world is foreign to me. I can't trust even my friend. There're people speaking to me in the various dialects around here – languages I hardly understood._

 _How can I find home?_

 _Who can I trust to not betray me?_

 _Joey, you're the only one I refuse to say 'I'm sorry' to because even as a child, you should never have made a promise so easily and forget it. Regardless, I forgive you for taking my heart and crushing it with your tiny foot. I forgive you, because you never knew the impact of your actions, not even to this moment, and I should have reminded you back then or shouted, screamed, threatened, whatever it would have taken to get me_ home _._

 _Nevertheless, when I was returned to the safety of my home, I never wanted to step a foot out there again._

 _Because out there, it's a whole different world filled with people who's not family._

 _Outside, there's nobody who I can trust._

…

It takes a second to remember who I am and what I am doing.

The words that have spilled out of my mouth so carelessly are just so unlike me, I had to wonder if the death god is playing one of his pranks on me. But. I know, from experience, that the unfeeling god would not do something so meaningless as to put words in my mouth – especially words that beg Ace not to die. If nothing else, the god would demand the opposite of him.

The heat around Mount Corvo is insufficient to draw perspiration, so the beads of water that sting my eyes and plop down upon tan, freckled cheeks really are tears.

It's really Ace that I'm seeing, brown eyes and all staring up at me in stunned silence, so the warmth I feel under my hands really must be his wrists.

I'm pinning Ace to the ground.

And now that I've come to my senses, I'm lost.

What should I do?

 _(Why did I say such things?)_

From where can I start mending things? What did I even blurt out to him in that moment?

Cruel as usual, reality hardly gives time to process as these thoughts.

I heard the strum of energy that surged through him and felt, rather than heard, the incoming swing of his leg. I leap back on shaky legs before the impact can collide.

This here, is all instincts.

But not even instincts can serve to eradicate my thoughts. My legs are still wobbly as I sway away from him – far, far away from him and that god damned hoop that is still hanging from the thin branch. My fingers are trembling as I reach up to clutch something – _anything_. With heart pounding in my ears, tears are stinging my eyes as I look away from him and at the fluffy grey and white hues obscuring a scarlet sunset.

"What the hell."

I blanch at the absolute scathing tone his words have and unintentionally look at him.

Dark beady eyes gaze at me gravely from under heavily drawn brows. His lips are turned down into a scowl just as intimidating as Mihawk's as a tan hand reaches out and swipes the tears from his cheeks. He grabs the iron pipe that he'd lay on the tree, grip tightening on it.

He must want to hit me, no doubt.

I grimace, palms turning sweaty.

I pin him to the ground, rant at him, cry on him, and I did all that without a single explanation.

To make things worst, the presence of that large swordfish he has at the base of the tree? That totally explains why he never died till he's twenty, because Ace was just tying a fish to the hoop and trying to make a fishing rod _so he could bring in a bigger haul for himself and the bandits_. _WhydidIjumptoconclusionssofast?!_

I lower my head apologetically.

"I'm sorry." I really am.

It takes effort to take a single huge breath and keep myself from trembling. The potential of being wrong has always been terrifying, but this time, I really am the one in wrong. _(And I wish nobody's seen. Nobody judged.)_

"You thought I was going to kill myself, weren't you?" His voice is far calmer than I hoped it would be.

I exhale shakily, forcing myself to lift my head.

The eyes were peer at me are unreadable. What can I tell him other than the truth?

I nodded, afraid that my voice will crack and irritate him more.

"Tch." Ace tuts, a sharp sound that makes me wince. Ace flings the fish over his shoulder with his weapon. "If I die, I lose. I'm stronger than that."

He walks pass me, that hateful, buzzing presence disappearing into the distance.

I sway, dropping to my knees, and I hug my knees to my chest as I gaze out at the wavering, setting sun.

That's right…What was I thinking?

Ace's strong. There's no way he'd do something like that.

 _(Unlike me.)_

I laugh, tears making their way into my eyes once again.

It's funny, how much his little comment hurts so much. To be thought of as weak…Even if I already know that long ago, it still hurts each time somebody admits it.

Yet, at the same time, I'm just so terribly relieved that he's different from me…that the tragedy won't repeat itself again.

 _(-dancing off the cliff, jumping off the platform-)_

I don't want to see another person die ever again.

…

The very first step he takes onto the island has Ace sucking in a breath and widening his eyes.

His brothers, injured or not, are all lined up in a crowd on the island. Rarely had he ever seen all of the Whitebeard crew and their allies gathered altogether like this, but even then…As his eyes flicker and scan the crowd, Ace could see faces that are missing – brothers, who were lost in the midst of the…war…over him.

He wants to scream all over again, because why did they have to go and do such a stupid thing?

 _(Why did she do it, too?)_

Why…did the Pops do it?!

Instead, Ace grits his teeth and takes another step onto the island, off the ship of the sympathetic Kuja pirates.

By his side, Luffy is sombre, just like the day they thought they lost Sabo. Jimbe is watching everything with wide eyes, but even then, tears were welling up as it begun to register that the Pops is truly gone. A glance around showed that there's not a single dry eye around amongst his brothers. His heart aches for them when he sees a few literally collapsing on the ground, holding their heads in agony.

But…they're the Whitebeard pirates.

It feels a little easier to breathe when he sees other comrades hold them up. Because even as shattered and broken as they are, at the very least, they still maintain the same pride Pops had when he died standing.

Ace sucks in another shaky breath, swallowing the tears back with a gulp as he imagines how much courage _she_ must have mustered when she jumped in front of him. When she died for him.

He shouldn't cry. Not when she didn't.

 _(Not when she whispered to him in the dial about how scared she is of dying.)_

It works.

He feels disconnected as he walks through the parting crowd with Luffy and Jimbe by his sides.

 _(Don't they blame him?! It's all his fault the pops and his brothers are dead and-)_

 _("Even then, you are my son." Somehow, he knows Pops would say that with far too much certainty. It's been repeated, over and over again, and even to his last breath, his captain had still said that. The words are just cemented in his mind, unable to leave-)_

\- and it's just so hard to breathe properly as his heart tries to suffocate him in its entirety.

Near the front, Ace sees his Pops' memorial.

'Edward Newgate' is carved lovingly, with shaky though professional hands no doubt, into the white stone. Pops' beloved bisento is blade deep into the stone and the Whitebeard's flag – _their flag_ – flutters at its top, torn and tattered, but whole and grinning. _(Just like home always is.)_ A flower bouquet hang around its handle, and attached to it, was the Pops' favourite worn coat, beating lightly in the wind. Ace had rarely seen his captain without it. The Pops himself had always complained when it was out of grasp, sort of like Luffy and his hat.

Looking down, Ace sees an assortment of flowers – sunflowers, hibiscus, and roses are just some of the ones he recognizes on sight. Then there are forget-me-nots, lilies, and tulips. And is that a _rafflesia-?_

Ace wants to laugh, because his clumsy, awkward brothers had probably just gathered all flowers within sight without caring much for their meaning. _(The Pops probably doesn't know the language of flowers anyways.)_

Ace wants to cry, because in that field of flowers that decorates his Pops' memorial, there are so many weapons to mark the brothers lost, so many who've accompanied the Pops into the afterlife.

 _(He wishes it had been him instead.)_

He wants to cry.

More than anything, Ace wants to cry.

Up ahead, Shanks turns around and sees him.

Ace awkwardly bows from waist up, choking out an emotional 'thanks'. It's hardly sufficient. One single word could hardly convey his appreciation for their rival, who came to stop that meaningless fight and salvage what lives could be saved. _(He saved Luffy and them.)_ 'Thanks' is hardly enough, for someone who looked out for their territories during war and took care of Pops during his pirate career.

But it's all he could muster in the midst of the storm that's blowing in his chest.

Amidst the chaos that's in his heart, the hand which Shanks placed on his shoulder is heavy, but full of understanding. And it _hurts_ , because _didn't Shanks lose his father the same way Ace did with Whitebeard?_

 _(It always comes back to that man._

 _Ace can't even bring himself to resent him anymore.)_

Without a look back, the red haired pirates track off solemnly onto their ship and are off on their next voyage.

 _(-one which they'll never have again.)_

Ace straightens. Walks forward to the memorial, where Marco stood.

And when Marco turns around, Ace feels that frustrating stinging of his eyes double in its intensity.

The first mate is unreadable and still, heavily lidded eyes boring out without a trace of redness.

Ace wants to yell and scream at him for not stopping Pops. He wants to rage and forget all of this sadness, if for but a moment. However...He couldn't.

Because…Even if the first mate doesn't cry, it doesn't mean that they're not wailing on the inside. Just because they seem unshakably strong, it doesn't mean that they're dying a little bit on the inside each time they try to hold back the dam from breaking.

 _(Marco is so different from her, but they're still the same regardless.)_

Marco is still human nonetheless.

Thatch is gone and Pops is gone. Who else can be there for their workaholic of a brother if not him?

Ace reaches out and grabs him into an uncomfortable embrace, manly pride and awkward brushing of aching muscles put aside. When the phoenix refuses to cry even then, Ace drags him down with him to the ground, plopping both their asses on the ground to stare up at the Pops' big memorial, the same way they used to look up at the bruised grinning flag flown by Moby Dick, knowing that they were _home._

And that's all they did.

Sitting there, they watched the bisento as time slides by idly.

It's unlike the busy routine they had back on Moby Dick, with the Pops overlooking them, but time doesn't really matter now with the Pops gone now, does it?

Jimbe takes a hint and attempts to leave with Luffy, only to find himself struggling against the toughness of his rubbery limbs. The sight draws some tired chuckles from their brothers, who slowly retreated and left on their ships. A number of divisions stay behind to safeguard this island, while most division commanders formed teams and talked before leaving on their separate ways. No doubt, there would be a meeting sometime in the future – sometime when they're all ready to talk – _but not now_. Not when the wounds are still raw.

Soon, they have some semblance of privacy to themselves.

Ace parts his lips, takes a breath of the cool minty air, and is unsure of what to say. For a start, he wants to apologize because it's his foolishness that placed them in this situation. But it sounds too much like _her_ for his liking, and right now, Marco takes priority over his self-contempt. He wants to tell Marco to let it out, but that on the other hand sounds too insensitive. Izo would definitely reproach him for that.

Caught between the two choices, Ace opted for the later and gives Marco a hard slap on the back.

"Cry." Ace demands, because sensitivity has never bothered him before.

It works.

The first tears come out silently, trickling down his face. Then, Marco is snivelling and sobbing and Ace finds himself doing the same.

Dead.

Their Pops is dead, just like he had been yesterday, is today, and will remain tomorrow.

The Whitebeard pirates are no more _(Home is no more)_ because he's dead.

And it's like her, but different.

Ace knows that she's dead too. That two important people in his life have up and vanished on him. But…Unlike her, Pops has never been one to leave cryptic messages. All traces of him _(them)_ are dead now, and there's nothing they could do to chase after him.

 _(Oi, Oyaji…Didn't you say that the Whitebeard pirates are eternal? Didn't you say that you'll be our pops forever? Where are you now?)_

The two men sobbed and grieved that night by Whitebeard's memorial, remembering the days when they were still happy, when there were no wars and Thatch was still there by their side, when their father watched them with eyes full of mirth and a grating laughter that sings to their heart.

 _(When she's still there.)_

.

.

.

Ace doesn't know what time it is. Sometime after their tears were shed and wails torn painfully from their throats, the waterworks eventually stopped coming. He gazes into the distance where the stars twinkle down at him _(Thatch used to say that he likes stars),_ feeling numb and raw, but _better_.He absently wonders when the last time he cried so hard was.

"You're a real bastard, you know that?" Marco grits out beside him. The grumpy old man is on the ground, an arm slung around one knee. "Should have brought some sake if you knew this was going to happen."

Their eyes are red and puffy, and judging by how Marco looks, he must be a real sight himself. However, the fact that the first-mate's finally able to muster some snark brings much comfort to his drained heart. Ace takes a second to soak in the feeling of familiarity before retorting.

"From the Amazon Lily? Good luck with that." He snorts.

Marco smirks, teasing glimmer in his eyes promising a good comeback, when a familiar yell pierces the air.

"-AAAAAACEEEEE!"

Ace finds himself propelled away before he knew it, bound by two rubber arms.

Damn it. Luffy.

 _(He refuses to admit that it's a surge of fondness he felt there as their moment is interrupted.)_

"Luffy! I've already told you not to aggravate your injuries like this!" Jimbe's panting as he dashes up to them, worry painting his otherwise ferocious features.

"Heheh! Don't mind, don't mind!" Luffy scrambles off Ace when he groaned.

"It's your health! Don't take it so lightly!" Jimbe reproached, clearly frustrated with how careless Luffy always is.

Ace pushes himself up on his arms, still disorientated from the sudden impact, but a look into Luffy's eyes as he gazes at Jimbe tells him all he needed to know. The firefist huffs, resisting an amused laugh at Jimbe's expense, and shakes his head. Clearly, Jimbe had unknowingly endeared himself to his little brother, and the fishman is still unaware that he's all but officially included into the Straw Hat pirate crew.

"Next time you do that, you'd be meeting a fist of love from me." Ace warns nevertheless. It's unfair, he admits, to threaten a blanching Luffy with that attack, but as much as he likes Luffy, his boomerang flings _hurt_.

Marco is up by the time Ace stands. With a brush of his back, sleepy eyes trail from Luffy to him in bemusement.

"Monkey D. Luffy, right? I've heard lots about you."

Ace coughs into a hand. Now that his little brother is meeting his crew, it might not have been a good idea to spill those embarrassing childhood stories to Marco.

"Yep! You're….Pineapple, aren't you?!" And the ever clueless Luffy laughs as if he'd not just insulted the first mate of the Whitebeard pirates.

"Let's stop picking fights with every Whitebeard pirate you come across, Luffy-kun." Jimbe sighs.

"That's just the way Luffy is." Ace pats him on the back with a sympathetic but amused grin. If only Jimbe knows about what's coming.

"Marco. My name is Marco. It's a pleasure to meet you, yoi." The first mate handles it smoothly nonetheless, the edges of his lips turning upwards despite himself.

"…Nice to meet you, Pineapple-head!"

"You're not even going to use my name, huh…" Ace stifles a laugh at the morose deadpan. What else did he expect? It's idiotic, lovable Luffy, who he's been more than thoroughly warned about.

Ace feels the smile on his face turning wistful as he looks at the sight before him.

His two families are finally meeting each other, just like he had always dreamed. They are getting along as well as he had expected. Yet…Under these circumstances, Ace doesn't know how he should feel. It's hard to describe, but…He just wishes Skylar was there so his crew could see how different she is with Luffy. He wishes Pops was there to laugh as Luffy picks a fight with him.

It…Ace frowns darkly at his thoughts. It's an impossible wish now.

"Anyway!" Luffy swipes away the abyss before it fully descends, the same oblivious way he always does. "I come here since I had something I wanted to tell the gigantic old man which I forgot before."

Before? Ace frowns in confusion. All he had seen from his porch was his Pops laughing while the others freaked out, but…

"Go right ahead." Marco nods indulgently.

Ace doesn't know what he's expecting when Luffy turns a full ninety degrees to Pop's memorial. Perhaps, a yell. Perhaps, a challenge. Whatever it is he expected, it didn't come.

Instead, Luffy bows from waist down, a nostalgic action that reminds him of the manners lessons they both took (and somehow Luffy never fully integrated until now). His hat falls off with the dramatic action. His eyes close in a smile. And lips are pulled into a grin that's so much like Pops' as he says, cheerfully.

"Thanks for looking after Ace and Sky!"

And then, with that, it suddenly feels like his heart is too full.

To his humiliation, Ace makes a sound that's caught between the cry of a dying chicken and a strangled dog. Jimbe is the one who patted him on the shoulder this time, with Marco sending him the dry bemused look. Ace doesn't know what to do when Luffy laughs in that smug manner of his – "Shishishishi!" – save for a hard thump on his back and a yell to cover his embarrassment.

Because even if Pops and Skylar are gone, it still feels like there's something out there for him to live for.

 _(Luffy.)_

For the first time since he was dragged out of that battlefield, Ace feels like life is still worth living.

…

It's aggravating, how the show had never expanded fully on the uses of haki.

 _Shtuck. Flomp! Shtuck. Flomp!_

…Why am I thinking this? Well, there's not much else to do when one's hands are full with a task. Or a large serving spoon, specifically.

As it turns out, to nobody's surprise, haki can be applied in situations other than sparring. Like immersing armament haki into a nail, for instance. With such a skill, carpenters and shipwrights everywhere would have it much easier. Then, there's turning other materials into top quality metal temporarily. That'd help if one is stranded without a pot, provided that they apply armament haki to their hands as well. Doctors wouldn't need seastone for logia users if they have haki.

And then, there's scooping out the insides of a tree with a spoon.

…If Mihawk finds out what I'm doing with my skills, I wonder what face he'd make.

A presence hums at the back of my mind, tiny light footsteps coming to a halt in surprise. Their owner stares, bewildered, as I scoop spoonfuls after spoonfuls of tree branches from the tree, but I can hardly care about his opinion at the moment. This is all for the sake of my safe haven!

As Monet always say, once I get rolling, it's always hard to stop.

…

I'm smiling as I cut through thick branches with my new blade, remembering the day Mihawk gave it to me.

It had been dinner time on the deserted island Mihawk dwelled before Kuraigana Island. (I never bothered to learn its name, given how often we're wandering.) As usual, Mihawk had humongous servings of sea king while mine was of a more humble size. As I retracted my dining knife from where it hung from my neck, the intensity of a piercing hawk-like stare caught my attention. Used to his mannerisms by now, I lifted my head and peered up at my mentor questioningly.

"It's chipped." Mihawk said curtly.

I lifted the blade to my eyes and frowned at the tiny impairment I see. …To think I damaged his gift because I couldn't master armament haki in time…It felt like a mark of failure of my abilities and a slight against Mihawk.

"Hand it over."

With a marked look of confusion, I aimed the knife inches away from his plate on the long table, the way I'm sure he meant. Mihawk hardly bulked, continuing his meal solemnly, as if in silent mourning for the blade. I followed his example.

The next day, I found another dining blade to the side of my meal, gleaming pure white in the light.

I have never found the need to name any of my belongings, but that is not to say that there are no attachments to them. Even if this sleek white blade is as nameless as the Ringeyes' rightful home, its humming presence between my fingers still offers an equal amount of comfort as Yoru always does to my mentor.

 _(Mihawk can be sweet when he wants to be, even if he is reluctant to use words. In what way can I repay him, besides treasuring this blade with my life?)_

The wood feels like butter beneath my blade, easily curving in directions I want it to.

Murmurs reach my ears and I frown, distracted for half a second.

The blade reaches the end of the log.

I shake my unease off with some effort.

Well, it's no matter. I think as I grab another log. The sooner I finish making my furniture, the quicker I can get out of their sights and back into comfort zone. The sooner I eliminate the risk of having to socialize.

 _(With Ace.)_

…

' _Day 34 of Arrival:_

 _Ace leaves the bandits' house in the usual manner. Takes Route No. 9 to meet Sabo. The duo, with a barrage of odd tools, is headed to the western side of Mount Corvo. Appears to be planning something.'_

I close the notebook with a sip of my tea and lean back in my seat, closing my eyes thoughtfully.

I can hear the shuffling noises of grass and clothes as they dash through the grassy plains, stepping pointedly away from the moss-growing areas. Iron pipes make hollow whistling sounds with the wind as they swayed with each rocking motion of the arm. The clinking of metals and steels follows them, sounding every time either of them takes a single step.

With the path they're taking, it leads right out to Route No. 15 of Ace's usual paths – a path crossing their meeting spot and the spot where they're hiding their treasures in an owl's nest.

…I get it now.

I stifle a chuckle behind a hand when they tried to dig holes into a tree branch with serving spoons like I did.

It's odd, to be the one who inspired them to take such drastic measures to hide their treasure, but amusing that they think they're capable of doing it without haki. ….Or on a second thought, the 'D's inherited strong physique may be sufficient afterall. Ace just plunged his iron pipe into the branch and using it as a lever, tore part of it out.

Opening my eyes, I smile at the cool comfort that the inside of the tree provides me.

Here, I can be alone without a single person to bother me.

It's…nice, in its own way.

 _(It's an empty, meaningless lifestyle, but who's there to judge me for this?)_

…

"ARGH!"

On day no. 51 of my peaceful, idyllic days, a scream wakes me from my sleep.

It's disorientating…My haki, that is. From a blank amazon filled with no senses or words or anything of that sort, to wake up to a barrage of cacophony has always been so befuddling it always gives me the urge to puke. Luckily, with how much Mihawk had launched surprise attacks on me in my sleep, I am getting used to the routine of 'get over it, analyze the situation, and move on'.

The situation now?

I focus my senses.

Pants resound as a young boy defends himself from a wild animal. The tiger boss (or whatever the kids called it) of the forest roars, a hungry snarl forming as it charges at the boy. The attack meets, but the boy only bounces. Regardless, he doesn't run – but why?

 _Chirp._

Ah, right.

Luffy is kind afterall.

Animals or humans, he sympathizes with both and takes them in under his protection.

Luffy is kind, however insensitive and blunt he can be.

 _(And that knowledge is the only thing that pushes me to my feet.)_

I take my dining knife and rise to my feet, leaving the shelter of my room with a frown. The skies are red and the air is cold, hinting at a rain previously. I know Ace had met Luffy days ago, and I know Luffy is still being rejected even now. When was the last time they clashed? …Three days, right. That means Luffy's been wandering around for three days already.

The leaves are a hindrance, and the mud is cold and squashes beneath my feet.

Another roar resounds in the hindrance. The angry tiger lord slashes Luffy, and my pace quickens.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this!

Why did Ace have to throw him down to this particular part of the forest? Why must Luffy wander in this direction? If he didn't, he wouldn't be attacked, the tiger lord wouldn't have pounced at him, and I wouldn't have to be awake at this unearthly time!

 _(I've never been a morning person.)_

Ace-! Where the hell is that nasty brat anyways?

I reach out with my senses, feeling him flop over in his bed.

Tch. That explains why the show never showed this scene.

I hate this.

 _(Just let me go back to sleep.)_

A pained whimper escapes Luffy's lips.

I stride out into the clearing and – infusing my fist with haki – throw a punch at the goddamned idiotic animal that just had to ruin my sleep.

The tiger lord yelps, a strangled sound with one cheek dented inwards, and flops over, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

I exhale as I regain my footing.

Luffy's groaning, half-lidded eyes parting momentarily to look at me. I feel his pulse slowing, a question at the tip of his mind as he gazes at me. Then, he's slipping away.

The stupidly stubborn kid.

I huff, turning him over to see the gashing scars on his back. They're only skin deep, miraculously. No scars in the future then. Still, it wouldn't hurt for them to be looked at by some medical professional instead of an amateur like me.

 _Chirp._

The sound draws my attention.

I turn my head to see the tiny chick Luffy's been protecting. It's an odd shade of flaming red with tiny tuffs that ended with yellow on the top of its head. Beady eyes peered out at Luffy worriedly, its tiny pulse quaking with fear but also wavering with worry. I've never seen an animal more expressive (besides the minks) and adorable.

I sigh and extend a hand to where it had been hiding, with Luffy, in a hole at the base of the tree. (Rain never bids well for devil fruit users.)

"Come." I whisper, voice rough from sleep. "Let's bring this fool to the village."

I don't know if it understands me, but the red chick perks up in attention and climbs onto my palm. Placing it securely in the depths of my jacket pocket, I toss Luffy's arms over my shoulders and heave him up into a piggyback.

First trip into the Foosha Village, and it's for someone else.

This is why I hate going out of my house.

…

The event repeats twice, this time with the lack of small animals.

As if the tiger lord's hunting Luffy for vengeance, or just some masochistic desire to get punched, I find myself once more lugging Luffy's rubber body down the mountain into Foosha Village at ungodly hours of the night. It's on the third visit that Makino, owner of the bar with a signature gentle, always content presence, saw me.

"You…!" She gasps when I was fiddling around with her clock, setting it to ring a minute after I leave.

I pause, backing away by two steps with wide eyes. H-How should I explain my intrusion into her bar? (To begin with, she really ought to lock her windows at night.) How can I even explain a snoring Luffy, who's sleeping while bleeding out on the couch beside her bed? It's too early for these thoughts, even for social interaction, and my sleep-adled mind has only just been woken up by her gasp.

"Luffy…!" Another gasp, this time riddled with horror as she turns and catches sight of the rubber boy.

I take this opportunity to launch myself out of her opened window and run the hell out of there.

"Wait-! Please-!" I hear her screaming out of her window. With good timing for once, Luffy grumbles and groans in his sleep. "Luffy, how did you get so hurt…?! The doctor…I need to get you to the doctor…!"

I leave successfully without encountering any other human being. Despite that, I know somehow, that as all things related to the protagonist of my story goes, this encounter would definitely lead to more troublesome events ahead.

…

I was right.

Just as everyone's lives tend to go array upon meeting Luffy, the marked change in my quiet life is Luffy.

It all begins with that torchic like baby chick that I've brought home.

 _Chirp._

I feel my toes aching from balancing precariously on the thin tree branch. Nevertheless, I find myself quite unable to stop as I watch the tiny chick flutter around the nest, beating its small wings as it communicates with the other chicks in soft, high chirps. If Baby5 is here, there's no doubt that she'd squeal over the sight. _(But she isn't. That's why_ I _have to be the one watching out for Luffy's chick.)_

Soon, the baby chick settles in the span of my palm and peers down at me with tears budding in the corners of its eyes.

"…No?" I whisper.

The tiniest shake of its head, which is almost indistinguishable from its entire rotund body, is accompanied by a whimpering chirp as the Piyo chick looks down in disappointment.

"…Oh." I said, not knowing what else to say to comfort the animal.

Placing the chick into my sweater pocket, I jump off the tall tree, gingerly cradling my pocket to reduce the impact on the Piyo chick. Leaves flutter as I land on my feet. The barrage of shades of orange, brown, and yellow still amazes me each time with the scenic beauty they borrow to Mount Corvo in spite of all its dangerous predators. Checking on the chick, I frown at its still depress air and shake my head.

"There are still five more nests around." I brush the crown of its head with a finger. It's soft and fluffy. _(Baby5 would have loved this.)_ "If those don't work and another search doesn't help, I'll make you a nest myself."

Just like that, in a manner that's too similar to an adorable puppy, the piyo chick chirps and regains its mood.

I smile as I moved on to the next nest that's closest to us.

I hate leaving the comfort of my house. I hate having to talk and be judged. And I hate being unproductive.

But…I have to admit that it feels nice to finally be useful.

In the days during which I have to wait for Ace to accept Luffy and finally, have a proper chance at being a productive, useful guardian, I can't help but wonder if I really am needed as Ace's guardian. I mean, compared to the other guardians who are up close and comfortable with their charges, my ailment prevents me from getting close to anyone, much less an angst-driven, temperamental young boy. _(Ironic, all things considered.)_ What else can I do besides overlooking him from afar? When does he even need me anyways?

'To let your charge die in the manner of their choosing'…To begin with, our mission here is ambiguous. If Ace chooses to stay during the fire to protect Luffy, it's his choice, isn't it? If he chooses to shield Luffy from Akainu, that's still his choice. When…How do I even come into play in this world?

 _(What's the purpose of my existence?_

… _It's been a while since I contemplated on that.)_

"Ah! I finally found you!"

The sudden yell startles me so much, I jump.

I pursue my lips as I feel, for the first time, the incoming ball of energy that's heading towards me. I look back, and sure enough, Luffy is dashing towards me with a large grin spread over his face.

"Hey! Quiet Girl!" He yelled in greeting.

In that instance, as the ball of potential-awkwardness-and-unavoidable-socializing approaches rapidly, my mind reverted to its most basic line of thought:

 _Fight or flight._

My history with this choice has never been good.

I run without thinking, ignoring the squeak of confusion that comes from my pocket.

"Wait for me, Quiet Girl! I want to be friends with you!"

Well, I don't.

Don't want to be friends with him, I mean. Nor myself, for that matter, but low self confidence aside, I can just see myself having to endure long ramblings of a child and being dragged out of my shelter consistently by the obstinate boy. No thank you to that.

Not to mention-…

I frown as I peer over my shoulder. Luffy is racing after me, happily waving a hand upon noticing my glance. No sooner had he lifted his head from the ground though, his sandals latch onto a stray root which is poking out of the ground and the child face-plants on the ground. Biting my lip as the guilt hits me, I falter and wait against my better judgement.

Luffy looks up and grins, jumping back up on his feet.

"You waited for me!" His voice is full of glee.

And I carried on running.

-Not to mention, I can't be Luffy's first friend around here, or he might just forsake Ace in favour of a more receptive, less ferocious 'friend'.

It's bewildering, how similar he is to Baby5 in that moment, yes. No matter how many times I close my doors on them, they always came running back with eager expressions. I'm still not certain whether Baby5 really would have stood outside my door all day (just like Monet told her to, that frustrating meddling woman) if I refused to come out back then.

But Luffy is different. Unlike Baby5, I must keep rejecting him until he forms that critical bond with Ace. Or at least, until he reaches Grey Terminal. _(Because Ace needs someone, and with me, as flawed as I am and as problem-riddled as our first meeting is, I_ can't _be the one who pulls him out to the light.)_

Even with our knowledge of the future, the Ringeyes always knew better than to alter things that would potentially hinder each other's missions. Such an unspoken rule is just what we live with, as a family.

"Hold up!" He yells after me.

So even when my heart's beating wildly at being told that someone wants me as a friend, even when the baby chick in my pocket is chirping in dejection and confusion, I had to remind myself of that oath and just. Keep. On. Running.

…

The moon is full that night as he arrives at her 'hiding spot'.

Ace takes in a moment to soak in the sight of the nostalgic ship, tracing the words _("Spade")_ and that _(flame bearing)_ flag that the ship hangs with his eyes. The horse-like figurehead of the ship rocks back and forth as if welcoming him back, and though there are some weeds that are beginning to crawl up its sides, Red Force (the namesake of his tinier, flame-driven raft) remains strong, enduring, and whole, only softly creaking when he stepped aboard.

"It's been a long time." Ace whispered lovingly, caressing the foremast as he passed by.

The wind whistles in agreement.

Ace looks down at the worn wood beneath him and breathes, closing his eyes.

For a second, he hears the phantom laughter of a crew that's long since dispersed. He could almost see the face-splitting grins decorating the faces of his crew. He could feel the impact as his tiny barrel of sake knocks against the others'. _(He could feel her reaching out for him from her tiny space, retreating after making sure that he's safe.)_

And when he opens his eyes again, he's back on a desolated ship.

A breeze teases his hair, as if comforting him for his loss.

Even now, he still remembers every single inch of this ship like they're carved into his soul.

Through the doors of the quarter deck is where the dining room for their small crew is. Brushing the table where they had sat and partied many times over, Ace frowns at the dust his fingers come off with and snickered wryly. If the cook ever returns to this ship, he would certainly have a fit about that.

 _("You just ate a week's worth of our rations, Idiot Captain!"_

 _The pot rings as it impacts with his head._

" _Mpfmpf…fwanks for twe meal." Ace speaks out around a mouthful of meat.)_

Ace leaves the room and walks down the stairs at the main deck, unafraid to close the door after him.

A flick of the fingers brought light to him, brightening the dark area.

 _("Captain…Captain…!"_

" _Mw…Wha-?" He blinked up at the frightened face of his shipwright. "What's wrong?" He mumbled sleepily._

 _The shipwright shifts nervously from foot to foot._

"… _Will you accompany me to the toilet? I'm scared of the dark."_

" _Huh? What are you scared of? It's a ship you built!" Ace laughs. But nevertheless, he still makes to get out of his bed for him. Because it comforts him to know that he's needed, just like when Luffy needed him.)_

With his fingers blazing, Ace walks down the long hallways where their rooms are located.

First room to the left was the infirmary, where long written papers still lingered, having been left behind in their move to the Whitebeard's ship. Then, to the right, there's the weapons' room, where their shipwright had spent hours locked in.

 _("Oi, Captain. Is it fine if I test my new poison on you? I promise I'd fix it thereafter."_

" _Huh? No way in hell!" He laughs._

"… _I dare you."_

" _Okay, you're on, bastard!")_

 _("It's a flame propeller." He smiles shyly, like a child, when Ace asked. "In Shabody, we saw mechanisms ran by the bubbles. I was thinking we could apply the same mechanism and build a special ship to run on flames.")_

Subsequently, there were the training rooms, where his pair of snipers had exchanged bullets (before being beaten to within an inch of their lives by the doctor) and where his wrestler tormented the physically weaker members of the crew.

 _("It's seastone, Captain. Better not be touching that."_

" _Urgh." He dropped the tiny pellet at once. "Why do you even have that?"_

" _It's to defeat the enemies, naturally."_

" _Last time round, we failed to beat them since they're logia fruit users and you and First-Mate-chan had to pick up our slack, but…Next time round, we'll destroy our foes before they even reach us!")_

 _("Fuhyah!" The two snipers grunted as they're thrown against the wall. "Okay! Who's up next?!" Bulging muscles were flexed._

 _Ace grinned as he stepped forward._

" _No devil fruit abilities if you don't use life-threatening attacks." He said._

" _Sure thing, Captain!" He laughs, a feral grin spreading across his lips. "You're nothing without your devil fruit afterall!"_

" _Hah! Big words to say before a fight! You compensating for something?" He teased.)_

The navigator's room lay directly above the dining room, but Ace didn't spare time to see that.

 _("No need to be so worried, Captain. Even if she hasn't been acting like a first mate, I know my place on this ship."_

"… _Decker."_

" _It's fine. All this time, she's the one who's been coming to our rescue whenever we're all defeated, hasn't she? She's how we reached New World despite being newbies in the pirating world. She's the one most fit to be our first mate. Even I acknowledge that."_

 _He takes a swig of the sake, straight from the bottle. A grin's on his face as he turns around._

" _Go on to her now.")_

It's painfully bittersweet, each and every one of these memories. Every step he took towards the end of the hallway only amplified that painful feeling in his chest.

To the left, it's the library.

To the right, it's the soundproofed music room.

And then, there's the men's quarters, before-

…It's her room.

Ace stills, flames flickering above his fingers.

For a moment, with how silent and calm everything is, he could almost imagine that he's back to those days, where the crew's back and she's hiding away in her tiny room as always.

But she's not. The crew has already disbanded, and there's nobody on this ship anymore. He shouldn't pretend that she is still here, or that those glorious days with Pops never happened. He _can't._

But…He lifts his fingers and traces the name that's etched into the doorplate.

'Skylar'.

It doesn't mean he shouldn't miss her.

His breath hitches and he pushes the door open, entering as the illusion fades away.

He doesn't know what he's expecting, the same way he never expected Luffy to say those words.

Inside, it's all the same.

Study desk up against the left corner of the room, book shelf with a slicing door beside it, and a wardrobe further beyond that. Even the futon, which is never really folded with how often she slides right back into it, still looks the same.

 _(With just the exception of her presence.)_

Ace feels his shoulders slump.

Even now, he's still searching for her, it seems.

But…There are some signs that she came here previously: This room's the only one that is not dusty. There are no spider webs or weird odours, like the doctor's drug-filled (and possibly poison-filled) room did. And…Ace looks down. There, on the messy futon, laid a bundle of letters that is secured tightly with a green nylon ribbon.

He bends down on one knee and reaches for it, when something stops him in its path.

' _Ace'_

…It's his name.

His name is the first addressee of the letters, scratched onto the bottom right corner of the white envelope.

His fingers twitch at the sight. Why? He doesn't know. Just…It hurts, somewhere deep inside, even though there's another part of him that's smiling at the fact that it hasn't ended – that her last message to him is not just about her past.

He grabs the letter and leaves without looking back.

…

"Did you do what you have to, yoi?"

Marco, Jimbe, and his little brother are waiting for him when he returns to their tiny shack.

Ace looks down at the newly retied bundle of letters, remembering each of the names written on the letters' edges once more, and shakes his head.

"Not yet." His grip tightens around the letters, threatening to crumple them. "I have some places I need to go. People to meet."

The look of appraisal which Marco sends him is contemplative. It's a look that Ace's familiar with, one that shows up whenever the first-mate is weighing the pros and cons of decisions that could make a large difference to the crew. Despite the knowledge that their crew is unofficially disbanded, Ace still tenses in ready for an order. The hierarchy still seems too dear to leave behind at the moment.

But that's just him and the Whitebeard still in him.

Luffy cocks his head in confusion, brows furrowing as he folds his arms.

"Huh? Where are you going, Ace?"

"Somewhere. There're a lot of places that I need to go to deliver these. Some which I don't even know about." He smiles as he taps the bundle of letters with a finger.

That same smile then promptly tightens as he looks down at Luffy's oblivious face. Of the ten names that he had seen, two of them are in Luffy's crew and are now lost to god knows where. He'd ask Luffy if he knows, but somehow, looking at his brother's wistful expression that appear every now and then, he gets the feeling that asking would only make Luffy feel a lot worse.

So instead, he asks:

"Do you wanna come with me?" Ace offers. "Where I'm headed, I'll most likely go pass Shabody in the middle of my travels. You can reunite with your nakama when we get there."

"Really?! Then of course I'll go!" Luffy bounces off the ground in his excitement. "In fact, let's go right now! I can hardly wait to see them and to eat Sanji's meat…" Drool pours out of his lips.

Ace would have been pissed at the innuendo had he not tasted the chef's work before. It's a work of art.

"Hungry again, huh." Marco sighs, scratching his head.

"But it's good that he feels fine enough to be hungry." Jimbe grins. "With this, I won't need to worry about either of you two when I'm back at Fishman Island."

Oh, right. Ace had almost forgotten about that.

"Call us if you need help, yoi." Marco volunteers before Ace could. The phoenix adds a pat on Jimbe's back for emphasis. "Even if Pops is no longer around, we're still brothers. We'll do everything we can to help."

Jimbe blinks, looking surprised, and swivels around to meet Ace's look of resolution.

"What are brothers for?" Ace scowls at his expression. What? Did he really think they would just leave Fishman Island to whatever fate it might have lying ahead? Jimbe crossed the marines for his sake. Ace would gladly burn the world government to the ground if they dare lay a hand on his friend's home.

Finally, the fishman smiles.

"Thank yo-"

Long rubbery limbs wrap around him.

"Eeeeeh~? Jimbe's gonna go away? I don't want that!" Luffy whines.

"L-Luffy! Stop that, would you?! We are discussing serious matters here!" Jimbe yells, startled.

"But nakama should stay together!" Luffy argues.

"'Nakama'-?!" Jimbe's eyes bulge. "Since when did I ever agree to be part of your crew?!"

"Ah, you didn't. I decided it by myself." Luffy digs in his nose.

"Don't just decide things for other people!" Jimbe smacks Luffy's head lightly.

"Shishishishi!"

Ace smiles at their banter. Not even three days after they have met, and these two are already attached at the hip. With how much Jimbe has helped all of them, even if Ace has a say in Luffy's decision, he honestly could not say a single thing against Jimbe joining Luffy's crew.

 _(Jimbe's part of their two crews, a person who's part of their overlapping worlds. He's nakama, and_ more _.)_

"So," Marco sidles up to his side as the duo continued their bickering. "You're going to Nameless Island?"

Ace halts and snaps his head to him with wide eyes.

A million questions come to his mind in that instance _(How does he know about the Island? Why does he know his destination? Have he been there before or-)_ but not a single one could come out as he gapes. Too many thoughts are in his mind at the same time. There's confusion. There's suspicion. And there's a strange nagging sense of possessiveness as he cradles the letters, keeping them away from Marco because it's a journey she planned for _him_ , not anyone else. (Luffy's someone he's bringing out of his choice.)

"…I'm not letting you have them." Ace narrows his eyes at Marco, and somewhere in the back of his mind couldn't help but tut in exasperation, because how mature is it to get possessive over such a silly matter? _(It's not silly to him, though he's sure it is in others' eyes.)_

"…I was planning to ask if you'd let me come along." Marco answers instead, not a hint of ridicule in his tone.

Ace watches as Marco drops his hand into a pocket, pulling out a piece of vivre card that's burning at the ends as it faded off and the name that's on it-

' _Jin.'_

His heart plummets.

"…No." Ace whispers weakly, because it can't be happening.

He's shaking his head. Some distant part of him registers that the duo had stopped bickering and Jimbe's asking concerned questions, while Luffy is just staring at the piece of paper with a haunted look in his eyes, rubbery hand flying to his hat. But that doesn't matter, because here he is, staring at the evidence of yet another brother of his who's _dying_ as they speak.

" _No_."

Marco's looking way too calm for a person who'd just cried his eyes out for hours. Sleepy but swollen eyes peer down at him carefully, as if handling delicate glass as he says slowly, patiently-

"It's been like this ever since Thatch was attacked."

Ace focused in on him with bloodshot eyes, because suddenly, it makes sense.

Thatch was attacked near half a year ago. That's when Jin started retreating into his shell, keeping mostly to Sky, and tracking off to the Nameless Island (which they were never told about) more and more. Thatch was his charge, and – Why didn't Skylar mention anything about what happens to the guardians when their charge dies in a manner not of their choosing-?

His hands shake as he unbundles the letters at once, shifting through letter after letter till he sees the one with Jin's name on it.

' _Jin_. _'_

The name is written in neat, round little letters.

Ace wants to do nothing more than to open the envelope and to read whatever that's in there, that's meant for Jin but-

…But…it's meant for Jin.

Ace breathes, and his whole frame slumps as he lifts his head to look at Marco.

Grave eyes look back at him. And – _holy shit_ , he really wasn't kidding about Jin near death. Ace exhales shakily, inhaling deeply thereafter in a futile attempt to calm himself down as he cards his fingers through his hair, massaging the area between his brows.

"Fuck." He cusses, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We…we really have to get to Nameless Island as soon as possible."

That's the only way they could save their potentially suicidal brother from whatever death he's got coming. And even though Ace knows they'd all fight tooth and nail against even the death god if needed, there's no way they could do that till they get there.

"…Alright. Let's go now!" Luffy huffs in determination while Ace swivels around with the rest of the group and gapes at him, because – _How the hell are they gonna get there?_

"It's night, Luffy." Jimbe emphasizes.

"Yup!"

"The next ship set to pick us up is coming at dawn, yoi." Marco drawls.

"So?"

"We're all devil fruit users here. How'd you plan to get us there? Swim?" Ace grouches.

"Well, the blue chicken there can fly us over." Luffy smiles innocently as he stabs a finger in Marco's direction, all bright eyes and excited look.

"It's _phoenix_ , kid. And my flames burn off my energy when I'm in my phoenix mode." Marco says blandly.

"Eeeeh?! That's amazing!"

"It means that I can only fly for so long before I drop all of us into the ocean." Marco deadpans. Ace finds it admirable that he didn't tag on the 'dumbass' to the end of that line. Or it could just be Marco fearing his big brother wrath, or something of that sort.

In any case, Ace is having a migraine as he tries to think up solutions to their problem.

Red Force, the old, is clearly in no state to be travelling after having slacked off in maintenance for nearly three years. Red Force, the new, on the other hand, got lost in the depths of the ocean when Moby Dick fell. Jimbe has to get back to Fishman Island and can't carry three men in one sitting. _(And then, there's the fact that she's not here. Otherwise, they'd have been able to use their usual hot air balloon method to travel around.)_

With options so limited, it really seems like there's no choice but to wait.

Ace's all but resigning himself to waiting impatiently when a submarine floats up beside the island with a familiar jolly roger on its metal plating, water sliding right off its decks gracefully.

The door opens with a metallic clank. From within the ship, someone exits, making sharp tapping footsteps as they cross the deck to peer over the railings. Ace prudently braces himself, just moments before the doctor looks down at them with that ever vexing smile of his.

"Need a ride, Hiken-ya?"

"Oooh! It's you, Tra-guy! Come to think of it, you have a submarine as a ship?! That's sooo cool!" Luffy all but worshipped the other rookie (or his ship, at least) as he tears forward, jumping around in excitement.

"Luffy!" Ace is glad that Jimbe is the one shouting, because he would have otherwise. "Like I said, you need to be careful in your state!"

Ace steals forward cautiously, narrowing his eyes at the doctor.

It's true he saved their lives, but…Looking at the mark that's so similar to Doflamingo's – _who's the charge of Monet, Skylar's guide_ – and then to the man himself – _whose name is familiar from the dial_ – Ace can't help but feel wary around him.

He's painfully aware that the only other one in the vicinity who knows about her secrets is him, yet…that knowledge only somehow increases the tension he has with him.

 _(Bastard who's intruding on his journey for her-)_

Trafalgar's eyes flickers from Luffy to him. The calm smile on his face rearranges itself as the doctor pursues his lips, ignoring Luffy who's still shooting praises at him.

"…Listened to the dial, did ya?"

Then again, it could just be because the man's grating with every word he speaks.

"Why are you helping us?" Ace asks back.

A long moment passes between them as emotions flicker within grey eyes. Again, Ace thinks numbly in realization. The same distant, longing look which he had seen back on Amazon Lily is back in his eyes – a nostalgic, wistful gaze that's clearly directed at somebody besides him. Finally, Trafalgar smiles – and this one is hardly agitating, because it's sincere and larger than the one he gave before.

"Rosinante." Trafalgar states.

"Wha-?" Ace blinks.

That name is one of the ones mentioned in her recount of her time with Doflamingo, but it had also appeared somewhere near the beginning of the tape, when she was getting ready to pour her heart out to the dial. His hand twitches towards the pocket subconsciously, where the delicate shell is hidden out of sight.

Trafalgar offers a full blown grin that's clearly the reason for that jolly roger on his ship.

"I take interest in that name."

And that's all the reason Trafalgar gives as he turns around, strolling leisurely back to the door.

Meanwhile, Ace is left spluttering, looking up at the tall submarine in frustration.

"What the hell does that even explain?!" He yells.

Ace is just turning around to stride petulantly away when from that submarine when he notices that Luffy and Jimbe have already climbed up the ladder onto the ship's decks.

"Wow! It's the polar bear! It's been a long time~!"

Luffy's yell of delight and a decidedly frightened squeak from the ship has his brows twitching.

"Luffy…" He wants to set the ship ablaze.

"Well, it looks like we have no choice, yoi." Marco peers down at him with the usual lidded eyes when Ace swivels around in alarm. Did…Did he hear that? Did he hear anything about the dial? _(Why is he afraid anyways? Well…he just doesn't know what Marco might think of him if he knows he's chasing after her.)_ If he has, Marco pretends to not have heard anyways. "Get over it, Ace. For Jin's sake, if nothing else."

Then, the first-mate trots forward and climbs up the ladder.

Ace watches with befuddlement before the words register.

He tilts his head, gazing at the jolly roger and all its jolliness with a twitching brow. With the combination of Luffy's fondness for that bear and the general dislike he feels towards that doctor, he can already feel the migraines that travelling with this crew might give him. But on the other hand…well…

It's a shitty option. But they really don't have any other choice, do they?

It's with great reluctance that Ace steps aboard Polar Tang.

…

" _Heeeey~! Quiet girl! Quiet girl, where are you?!"_

I withhold the urge to cover my ears at the yell. Instead, I pull the hood of my jacket over my head, hoping the layer of fabric would help to shield the noise.

Nope, no use. Should have tried to stab Mihawk with a bit more killer intent back then, because why didn't he warn me about the side effects of observation haki?

 _Chirp! Chirp!_

" _OH! It's you! HAHA! You learnt to fly! I'm glad for you!"_

I breathe a sigh of relief, slouching a bit more into the soft comforts of my newly delivered mattress. With the merchant crew of the Nameless Island having made their rounds recently, my tiny house-in-the-tree (I refuse to call it a treehouse) is finally getting a bit more aptly furnished, with cotton linens, soft mattress and a den-den-mushi. A few of the things I picked from Grey Terminals are replaced and there are still candles instead of lights, but the most important change would be the nest outside my home.

 _Chirp!_

" _Oh? Where are you going, Bird?!"_

As promised, I built the newly christened Piyo a nest on a branch of my tree. It's more a bird house than anything, but the twigs inside and a few of my silken ribbons gave it a more nest-like feel.

Needless to say, there is no longer a need to make my rounds around Mount Corvo anymore.

" _Quuuiiieeet Giiiiirrl!"_

I wince.

And someone is about as happy as to be expected.

I snuggle into my covers, willing myself to concentrate on the comfort of the sheets, and not on the screaming boy who's just 800 metres away from my tree. …Or 500 metres…or 300 metres…Okay, wait, what-?

 _Chirp!_

The door slams open just as I swivel around to stare at it with horror-filled eyes.

Luffy grins, eyes closing in his delight. There is too much to take in at once as I peer in the direction of my door – because are those scraps on his skin and a tear in his hat and- Damn it, Piyo, why did you have to be the one to give me away? What's with that 'serves-you-right' look that you're giving me? Who was it who built a nest for you from scratch?

"I FINALLY FOUND YOU, QUIET GIRL!" Luffy throws his hands up in joy.

I grimace at the noise volume, clapping my hands to cover my ears this time.

He's noisy. He's dirty. He's injured. And he's – _stepping into my room without my expressed permission._

I'm looking at him pleadingly, hoping that he would take a hint and get that I don't want him in here, because it's the only safe place I have and the only place when I can get by without being judged and – Please don't look at my things without permission. I know the furniture I made is scruffy, ugly, and uneven to others, even though I like them the way they are.

But he doesn't. Because he's Luffy.

"Eh? Why are you under your covers?" Luffy jots his lower lip out in confusion, before stars appeared in his eyes and he grins. "Or rather…YOUR BASE IS AMAZING! How did ya make a hideout in a tree?! Did you dig the insides out? Or was the tree already like that when you found it?! THIS TREE IS AMAZING! Where can I find one?!"

All the jumping around and the disorientating questions brings my mind around in confusing circles. Before I know it, one starry-eyed boy is up in my face and vibrating in excitement, waiting for my answer.

I tug the comforter down my forehead in a futile wish for the bed to swallow me up whole. Or for Luffy to get the hell out of here.

When Luffy only waits, still buzzing in anticipation, I grimace and twiddle my pointer fingers.

"…I dug it out." I answer honestly.

"THAT'S AMAZING~!" Luffy cheers.

The noise only makes me flinch.

"Ah." The rubber boy suddenly stops, staring down at me with an unnerving look. I avert my eyes from his, looking down at the navy blue sheets. "Come to think of it…" I startle when he shoves his face in mine again. "…It's the first time we're talking, aren't we?! And - Shishishishi! It's the first time I've caught up to you!"

His pleased face makes it hard to burst his bubble. _(Piyo helped.)_

I only turn my head into the sheets, biting my finger.

 _(Please…Just go away already.)_

But he doesn't.

Instead, he stays and fiddles around with the tools I have here, even drawing pictures on the papers I have on my desk. Occasionally at meal times, he would leave my shelter to hunt _(Thank god)_ before returning with the already cooked meat. When offered a drumstick with a troubled look on his face, I only shook my head beneath the covers. I don't want him to care about me. I want him to _leave_.

It's only at dinner time that he does.

"Bye, Quiet Girl! I have to get back now or Dadan would scold me! See ya tomorrow!"

The door slams behind him, the cacophony leaving with him.

It takes a moment to register the now deafening silence. I heave a sigh of tremendous relief as I poke my head out of the covers. The sight which greets me makes me blink in surprise.

I gaze at the only slightly messy room in wonder, having expected much more of a mess with the amount of clamour he had been making. Instead, Luffy had really only been drawing with some coloured pens (no crayons) and testing out my tools (spoons, knives, and such) on the few scrap pieces of wood that I've confirmed I no longer need. Why, this little amount of chaos is so uncharacteristic of the protagonist that it even unsettles me a little bit.

I inch my way out of my literal security blanket, hoping there's no big bomb around here left behind by him.

 _Chirp._

I look up to see Piyo, who's bristling and pecking at a piece of paper.

I quietly sidle up to it and promptly have my breath stolen away.

Because there, on the paper, in a manner that's so typical of any kid who's been left alone for far too long, there's a family drawn on it.

There's Luffy, whose too long limbs stretch around his family. There's Garp, who's a grey blotch with his white marine uniform and navy blue hints of his dress shirt. There's Makino, whose forest green hair stood out. There's Shanks, stark fire engine red just beside Makino. There's even Ace, who's off aside and recognisable only from the iron pipe he holds.

Then…Then, there's me, the only one with long hair, kicking the ass of some big blotch which I can only assume is the Tiger Lord.

It…It's…

My heart warms at the thought of being remembered, of being important enough to him. But simultaneously, a sinking comprehension dawns upon me.

He's alone. Luffy is alone in this big wide world all of a sudden without Makino or Shanks or his grandpa or _home_. _(He's like me back then.)_ The only people he can trust is the person whom Garp said is his brother _– who kicks trees down at him and throws him down ravines_ – and the girl who saved his life _– who never wanted him_.

Luffy didn't make a mess in my home because he didn't want me to hate him. He didn't want me to kick him out.

And it's ridiculous, because this whole time, even though it's been right in my eyes how Monet and Mihawk are proper human beings and not just characters – _even though Ace hurts and Luffy's bleeds like any normal human being_ – I never saw Luffy and Ace as more than characters until now.

 _(Luffy's just like me.)_

 _(Just like Monet, Mihawk, Jin, and all the rest.)_

They're as human as any of us.

I slump over my desk, over the messy artwork that gave me this epiphany and frown.

I don't know what's going to happen if I get close to Luffy.

I don't know what's going to happen to Ace.

I don't even know if the Ringeyes would ever find out what I did.

But in that instance, all I see is a lonely child extending his hand for someone to hold, and all I know is that I really want to hold it so that he won't be alone the same way I was.

"Piyo?" The bird is still clucking like a chicken. I smile and lift a hand to brush its neck feathers. "B-Bring him here again tomorrow? Please?"

The red bird freezes and stares at me with wide, animated eyes.

It nods.

…

I huddle up in the tiny tent that my comforter created around me, feeling sick to my stomach.

Why? Why did I have to go and say that? I should know better than to make decisions when I'm emotional. It never works out the way I want it. Just look at Ace! What should I do when Luffy arrives? Wh-What is hospitality anyways? How can I show it to an overenthusiastic kid who's seven? How to normal people even communicate anyways?

God, why did I ask Piyo to bring Luffy back?

The door slams open in the midst of my meltdown.

"Shishishi! I got here first, Bird!"

A series of angry chirps is all he gets in response. Piyo has always been competitive.

I shiver despite the heat trapped in the sheets.

What should I do? WhatshouldIdo?!

"Ah! Quiet Girl, you're hiding in the covers again?! You're a strange one~!" Luffy topples on his back with a plopping sound, laughing loudly. His action goes ignored in the midst of my crippling fear.

I-Introduce…I need to introduce myself!

My hands are sweaty again. I'm fiddling with the top of my bed sheets, twisting nervous knots into them. My lips parts and quivers, but no voice comes out.

 _(It's the same old._

 _Same old habit, same old phobia, same old utter_ uselessness. _)_

Why? Why am I so pathetic? Even though I'm older-

…

That's right.

 _(Why didn't I remember that sooner?)_

I'm older, both physically and mentally.

Why am I scared of him judging? If you take away blood relations and our tragic past, he's just another pesky little brat like my younger brothers and the kids mother forced me to tutor back when _(she's still alive and)_ I have holidays. A kid's going to be a kid in the end, no matter how pathetic you are. They judge, but then they always quickly forget. In the end, we're all just going to be another page in their lives that's left behind. So why be so anxious about what they're going to forget?

Not to mention, he's like me and all other Ringeyes. He's just a lonely brat who can't complain if he gets an anthrophobic friend instead of nobody.

 _(That thought makes me feel bad, but it's the truth.)_

I inhale sharply and tug the blankets off my head, poking my head out to peer at a blinking rubbery face. I stick out my hand, feeling a wave of courage at the reminder that _he's just like my younger_ , dead _brother_ , and ex-students, no matter who he is or what he's going to achieve in the future.

"Skylar." I'm proud that I manage to say my name without stuttering. "M-My name's Skylar, not 'quiet girl'."

There is a moment of deafening silence following my words.

I look down at the surprised face Luffy is sending me, at the shock and confusion that is lingering there, and I feel that wave of courage retreat, curling up on itself.

 _(What did I do wrong now?)_

 _(Contempt-filled face, dark eyes gleaming with agitation despite the gorgeous sunset backdrop. A kick and garbled speech and apologies-)_

Did I say the wrong thing? Perhaps, an introduction is not always the way to show hospitality-?

Luffy breaks out into a large grin, which takes me aback.

"That's right! We haven't introduced ourselves yet!" I jolt as the rubbery hand grabs mine in a handshake, before the additional weight on my sinking mattress registers. The face-splitting grin is overwhelming as I feel my hand being shaken up and down vigorously. "It's nice to meet you, Skylar! With this, we're friends now, right?!"

I look into beady eyes, thinking about how easy it would be to say 'no' in that instance. It'd be that easy to save myself the trouble and socializing that I will no doubt be forced into. But…I can't bring myself to see the disappointed look on his face.

 _(Children and their nasty pouts always nag at me, somehow.)_

"Yes." I said breathily. I hesitate, shrinking back as I duck my head. "…If you would have me."

"What a weird thing to say!" Luffy declares, laughing boisterously. "Even if you're quiet and always hiding in your covers, you're a good person! Of course I'll have you!"

A soft smile reaches my face at his words. It's embarrassing, but flattering. He's so sincere, it's hard to even doubt his words.

"Ne, join my crew in the future, won't you?!"

Then, the smile falls.

I peer at his twinkling eyes incredulously, feeling a bout of exasperation take over my body as I lift a palm to shield myself, subconsciously deadpanning the same way I use to do back then with my youngest brother.

"I'm sorry, but you're a bit too tiny to be my captain."

As soon as the comment slips, I found myself regretting it. Luffy's not my younger brother regardless of what mindset I'm in. What right do I have to say that to a kid-?

"What did you say?! By then when I'm older, I bet you I'll be bigger!"

…an easily agitated, fun to tease kid, I suppose.

A giggle escapes me as Luffy punches the air in his fury.

"Naughty children don't grow big unless they eat their veggies, you know?"

"Eeeeeh~~?" Luffy's face turns sour. He continues painstakingly, as if it kills him to even say the words aloud. "I-I'll…I'll eat the veggies if I have to…even if I have to."

"Pirate captains must also be able to read. Otherwise, they would get their crew lost without the navigator." I added prudently, doing a favour for the future Straw Hats. With this, Luffy shouldn't be lost even when he's alone with Zoro.

"Eeeeh~? That's so troublesome. I'll just never let my navigator go." It's a thought process that interlinks with the Luffy of the future, but-

"Even so. When you set out to be a pirate, I'm sure the ones who love you on this island would appreciate a letter or two every now and then. Otherwise, isn't that unfair to them?" The words are coming naturally to me, the childcare teacher in me having barely faded in the time I've isolated myself. I can already see the list of things I need to teach Luffy – reading, fighting, manners…Lots and lots of things on the itinerary.

"That's true but…" Luffy looks very displeased. "…Alright. I'll learn to write to Makino."

I bet he's regretting that he chased after me instead of Ace now. Anyways…how did we even get to this topic?

"I-In any case!" I huff. "I won't join your pirate crew, Luffy. You should look for someone else."

"But I want a Skylar of my own…" …Is he referring to my name as a position? _(Perhaps he should have said hikikomori instead.)_ Why though, would he want a freeloader on his ship? "Well, I'll train and eat my veggies and learn to read! If I promise to do that, will you join my crew?!"

I gaze at his hopeful eyes and unwaveringly said-

"No." Luffy's face sours again. I laugh. _(Come to think of it, when was the last time I've talked so freely to someone besides the Ringeyes? Five years? Six?)_ "But I'm sure your crew will appreciate it if you learn for their sake."

"Tch." Luffy kicks the bed with a sulk. "I guess I'll have to do it then. You'll teach me, won't you, Skylar?"

"Only if you try your best to keep up." I smile.

"Right!" Luffy huffs in determination.

Looking down at his adorable cherub face, I can't help but give a soft giggle of amusement, extending a hand to card it through his hair. Luffy widens his eyes briefly but leans into my touch, bumping my hand gently almost like a baby lamb or small animal as he makes sounds of pleasure.

 _(No matter what happens in the future, I don't think I will ever regret my decision to reach out to Luffy.)_

…

 _Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp…_

It's stinging the back of his throat, clouding the thoughts that he's been having for a while now – They're dark thoughts…about her, about this whole voyage, even about Pops. It's… _(sickening, contemptuous, ungrateful)_ …unhealthy, but contrary to what most people might think, it's not like Luffy can blow away all these thoughts with just his presence.

"Pf-ha!" Ace gasps, emptying the bottle.

He tips it over. Not even one drop leaves its mouth. He frowns.

"Drowning your sorrows away with alcohol?" Marco drawls at his door, slouching against the metal lazily. "You're not setting a good example for your brother, Ace."

The phoenix sinks into the armchair heavily, squinting at him through narrow eyes. Ace only scowls.

"You know I can't get drunk, Marco." He deadpans, sitting the now empty bottle at the ground. "Luffy wouldn't touch sake unless it's for special occasions anyway. Hates the taste, he says." He remembers the 'bleh' face that Luffy made. It brings a smile to his face.

"That doesn't change the fact that you wanted to get drunk, yoi." Ace frowns as he looks up at the solemn look on his first-mate's face. Marco interlaces his fingers, the very look of patience as he leans forward in the chair. "Talk to me, Ace. That's what brothers are for."

"…I…" His lips open, but it's hard to push the words out.

What can he say? That he hates himself for getting Pops killed? That Skylar willingly sacrificed herself for him? Or – should he talk about where he's going now? How he's carrying out her dying wish of his own accord, chasing after the last cooling tracks that she left him? How…how can he say any of that to a brother who loves him as much as Pops? How can he say that, without Marco stopping him? Is he even allowed to talk about the Ringeyes without their permission?

"-It's-" Ace wets his lips. "It's noth-"

"Before you tell me that it's nothing and make me feel tempted to set your ass on fire, I'll have you know that I know all about the Ringeyes."

The words cause a deafening silence to fall upon the room. Ace stares at Marco with wide eyes, because once again, his first mate surprises him with yet another piece of knowledge about them.

"…What do you know?" He asks apprehensively, unwilling to let him in on information that might not have been disclosed to him.

"The fact that Ringeyes have a tendency to commit suicide." _(Grey eyes staring at him knowingly as a hand plunges into her-)_ Ace inhales sharply, leaning back as if struck. Marco continues regardless. "The fact that all Ringeyes seem to have a propensity for mental illnesses. The fact that they can predict the future somehow and they have a system known as charges and guardians, yoi."

"You know almost everything, in other words." Ace slumps, dropping his face in his hands.

"I wouldn't be the judge of that." Marco answers dismissively. "Jin simply told me and Pops whatever he could. The rabbit tunnel's a bit deeper than that, I'm afraid."

"'S that so." His fingers inch towards the dial. Are there secrets beside the ones in his hand? He isn't very sure.

"I also have some unconfirmed theories of my own." The offer is obvious.

And even though Ace already has enough of this talk, of having his _(and her)_ secrets dug out of a fresh wound, he massages the bridge of his nose and whispers-

"Tell me."

Striking blue eyes gaze at him piercingly, as if testing the waters.

"Skylar had anthrophobia and Jin had mysophobia." Those didn't shake him so far. "Skylar left her last words in that dial of hers with Law, who passed it to you. Both of you heard the dial and there's a mission within it that requires you to get to Jin. The mission involves handing over those letters to their respective recipients."

Ace doesn't respond as the line up of theories ended. Can't. He doesn't even know what to think at this point.

Marco lifts his interlaced hands, still gazing at him questioningly.

"Am I correct, yoi?"

Ace exhales, leaning back as he gazes longingly at the sake bottle.

It would have been so nice if he got drunk. Then, he wouldn't have been having this conversation with Marco.

" _Yes."_ He sighs, bringing up a hand to tousle his curly locks. Really, what else can he say? Marco hit the mark on each and every one of those theories – he'd always known Marco is more observant than anyone cared to give him credit for – and he feels like he owns it to Marco anyways, if only because the first-mate has always been there for him. "I- How should I say it-? Urgh, I don't-"

He fumbles with his words and actions before withdrawing a hand into his pocket.

 _(Are you sure? It's a huge decision.)_

He doesn't give a fuck anymore, so _– 'Yes'_ , he says to that part of himself that's always doubting. ' _He's sure.'_ He says, even when he attempts to rationalize the decision-

He had seen how she would look to Marco every now and then with sparkles in her eyes – the same way she did to Mihawk the one time he saw them together. She might care about Marco being repulsed, but Ace knows that will never happen.

So, Ace presses the delicate dial into the other man's hands and resists the urge to grab it back.

"-That." He ends his stumbling words, meeting Marco's blinking eyes. "That will explain it all to you. Listen to it."

A contemplative pause follows his words. Marco looks down at the dial, tracing the names and edges as if seeing them up close for the first time. It's clear that he understands the significance of the dial to the both of them when he looks up warily.

"…Do you mind if I listen now?"

Ace's answer is a flippant wave and a duck of his head towards the other way.

 _Click_.

The sound of the dial being turn on resounds.

As the first of her words floats into the room, Ace brings his head further down, practically drowning in his hands – the same way he always saw her burying her face in her comforter. When she describes the process of entry into this world, Ace worries that it's a secret Jin never shared, but Marco hardly looks surprised and still takes it as it is.

Despite himself, his heart still flutters and drops the same way it did the first time she described her journey so vividly. As if he is there himself, he feels himself on a roller coaster of emotions. He feels deep within his pocket for his letter, the only one that he'd separated from the others upon arrival in Polar Tang, and he crumples it between his hands as she expresses, for the third time, how she doesn't want to die.

Ace wants to get up and leave, but he doesn't. Instead, he lifts his head courageously and peers into blue eyes that are filled with…remorse…?

"…so that was what they were talking about." The whisper is so soft that Ace had to lean in and strain his ears to hear.

"Huh?"

"The day before war," Marco sighs, leaning back as he pinches the bridge of his nose as if to offset an incoming migraine. "While the rest of us were having one final party, I saw those two talking at the crow's nest. Jin…at that point, because of Thatch, must have been talking some stupid shit about what he could have done…and Sky just listened, yoi."

"What?" Ace's ears are ringing.

"Don't you think Sky would have tried something else besides dying if she's so scared? She _couldn't_ , because something or someone convinced her that it's not going to work out." Concern briefly flickers across Marco's face. "I think…Jin might have."

What? He still can't process that. Stuck between anger and betrayal, it takes a while before his hands are shaking from the sheer _need_ to punch something. Before…Ace is gritting his teeth and snarling in words that had been directed at that goddamned pie-eating bastard before _this_.

"Jin did what-?"

Marco gives him a _look_ , which chains down the madening need to kill.

"Jin tried to save Thatch in a manner besides self-sacrificing and he failed, yoi." Ace freezes at his words, sympathy welling up because if he took Thatch's death so badly…how much harder must Jin had taken it? Marco's clearly reminding him of that when he frowns at him. "Get over it, Ace. Jin was hardly able to show his face at Pops' funeral. I think he blames himself more than anyone of us."

Deep breaths, deep breaths…

"I get it." Ace nods. When he meets Jin again, there's going to be plenty to say, but the first thing that's going to come out of his mouth will _not_ be an accusation.

"…Anyways. Did Trafalgar seriously deem you as mentally fit to receive a stimulation like that? Because based off what I've seen, you're still far too attached to her to be healthy."

"Bastard probably wanted me to lead him straight to Nameless Island. See Rosy or whoever it is." Ace shrugs. "And it's only been four days since she died."

"Point taken." Marco dips his head in acknowledgement. "Have you read your own letter, in any case?"

Ace gives him a deer in headlights look.

"As if she'd let her last words be about this mission. Besides, I doubt she would leave the dial with Trafalgar without a back up when she hardly knows him. There's definitely one letter that's meant for you, yoi."

Ace feels quite discomforted suddenly. He retracts his shaking hand from his pocket, clasping both together as if in prayer. He looks down at the bedside table, out of the submarine window where the sea is as deep as his misery, and he gives a soft sigh.

"…I'm…just not really ready to read it just yet." He mutters lowly.

"Okay."

"That's it?" Ace turns to him so fast he has a whipsplash.

"That's it, yoi. You're its recipient, so you decide what you want to do with it." Marco answers confusedly, as if not understanding what he wants specifically.

"I thought you would fly into Mama Marco mode and blow up on me."

"Don't use that nickname. And I'm just not really in the mood to do that now, so…" Lost in his thoughts, Marco trails off. Ace waits as blue eyes blink several times, returning to the present. "Anyways, you don't mind letting Jin listen to this dial when you hand him the letter, do you?"

Ace wants to disagree immediately, but the thought of his brother returning to depression has him shutting up. Perhaps…If Jin listens to Skylar's story of how she moved on from her suicide with his and everyone's help…he might be able to move on himself.

 _(That's definitely what she would have wanted.)_

It's a foolish thought, almost naïve in nature, but Ace nods and agrees anyways.

"So, you ready to go upstairs and join in with the partying?" Marco gives a lazy grin.

"Another party? That's the tenth party Luffy's thrown since we got aboard." Ace snorts. It's amusing even the ninth time watching Trafalgar's face transform as he makes the grave realization that his ship's been taken over by a genuine monkey, and he had personally volunteered his ship to it.

"Kid's partying to get over his longing for his crew, I think, but who am I to stop it?" Marco shrugs. "Let's go."

"Alright." The glass bottle clinks when he accidentally kicks it over. Ace sits it upright and smiles as he follows his crewmate to the galley.

He goes sober for the rest of the voyage.

…

" _Woah! What the hell is this place?! It stinks!"_

 _[Day 96: Luffy arrives at Grey Terminal.]_

The words feel heavier than they should as I scribble them into the notebook. The pencil is hard to hold on to when all I want is to chase after Luffy right this moment and stop him from finding Sabo and Ace. Instead, I tilt my head back onto the large pillow, splaying dark locks around as if in hopes of scrambling my worries.

It doesn't work.

My heart still feels heavy.

My mind's not here.

 _("Hey," I wince in sympathy when Luffy grits his teeth to bear with the pain. "Why…do you keep chasing after Ace even when he hurts you?"_

 _I lower my head to look at the evidence of it. Every day Luffy returns, there are always new injuries. Each time a single scrape or cut heals, another takes its place. Luffy has been beaten blue and black more times than I care to count, but enough times to finally make me have enough of worrying. I hate it, how I have to clean up after Ace and help him heal every cut and injury. I hate it, having to resist running out of my house to rescue Luffy from Ace._

 _Luffy cocks his head with a frown, only dipping it when I bent up to take his straw hat. There's a tear in the fine ribbon which I immediately set to mend._

" _Eh? Skylar, you've seen me chase Ace before?" Ah. That's right. Luffy hasn't yet told me of his situation._

" _Mh." I nod, hoping he wouldn't figure the disparity in that._

" _Huh…Well! I chase after Ace because I want to be friends with him! Ace is actually a nice guy despite being mean. Afterall, he always stays behind to make sure that I don't actually die from his attacks!" Luffy laughs. I can't find it in me to follow._

" _But, Luffy…He always hurt you." I lower the needle in my hand. I'm always hurt when I try to make friends back then. Eventually, I gave up approaching people. "Isn't it enough for you to just have me as your friend?" The question slips despite my fear of that happening. I jump, covering my mouth._

 _Luffy gives me an odd look._

" _You're funny, Skylar. Is there such thing as having too many friends?" I blink, looking down. I've never thought of that. "Besides, it's only normal for friends to fight now and then! Shanks said so. Even if Ace and I fight, I still think we'll be the best of friends some day!"_

 _That's…I hug my knees as I finish the last stitch in the ribbon, tying the knot. That's so overly optimistic…it's impossible for me. But it's only to be expected of endearing, loyal Luffy._

" _Here." I pass him the hat. Luffy buries his too small head in the big hat with a delighted squeal of "HAT!" I smile despite myself at his joy._

" _Not to mention-!" Luffy flops onto the bed, huffing as he bounces. He smiles up at me. "Not to mention, it'll be unfair if the only one who's all lonely is Ace! I want to share Skylar and your house together with him too!"_

" _What am I? A snack?" I deadpan._

" _Shishishishi!"_

 _Shaking my head, I look down at the first aid kit in my hands. Just a little, I suppose I can understand what Luffy means.)_

I can't.

I can't remember what it means now, not when Luffy is headed straight for danger.

" _PIRATE SHIP?! YOU GUYS WANT TO BE PIRATES?!"_ Luffy's voice rings.

" _Gh-!" "Gah-!"_ The two boys intone in shock.

" _ME TOO!"_

Within moments, the sound of the older boys dashing down the tall tree can be heard. Luffy makes a confused sound at the back of his throat as ropes are thrown around him, bounding him to the base of the large tree in no time at all. My fingers clench into fists against my will, the pencil stilling before moving to shape words.

 _[Luffy is caught by Sabo and Ace. The boys decide to-]_

" _-He knows our secret. If we leave him, he'll tell someone."_ A contemplative pause. _"…Let's kill him."_

 _SNAP._

" _I agree!"_

" _WHAAAAT?!"_

It takes the stinging pain in my fingers to realize I'd broken the pencil.

" _Don't move, you idiot!"_ One of the boys yells. Luffy's clothes rub against rubbery skin as he wriggles desperately around in an attempt to slip free. Tiny heart quickening its beats, Luffy is scared and helpless.

I watch the red slowly ooze out of the skin where shards of wood are stuck in my palm, forming a tiny pool that slips down and trails down the expense of my palm.

" _I didn't think you guys were gonna kill me! Skylar, somebody, help me! I don't want to die!"_ It seemed comical in the books, but it's not funny at all when in reality, Luffy's really afraid for his life. He believes, truly, that Ace will not hesitate to kill him given their past record. And those boys are just…

 _POP._

Ah. I bit a vein. Now, there's more blood flowing.

Tissue, tissue…I need some tissues…

" _Sabo! Do it!"_

" _What are you talking about?! You do it!"_

" _I've never killed a person before!"_

" _Same here! I don't know how to do it!"_

Ah…So there's my napkin. I wipe the blood off my palm, pulling out the tiny twigs with my hand. Then, I wipe the blood off my chin. It's reassuring to know that the boys are not serious, but this is truly becoming a thorn to my health.

 _(If Luffy dies, I would make sure that they live just long enough to regret it, even if one of them is my charge.)_

" _HEEEELP!"_

" _SHUT UP!"_

" _Hey! I heard voices from here! Children's voices!"_

I bite my inner cheek in frustration. If only I can do something…

But no. The reason why I can't interfere is because the boys don't need me yet. So, I can only peer down at the white sheet of paper, filling it with words as I listen out to the world from this tiny space.

I breathe, and I write.

 _[The boys release Luffy to escape Porchemy. Porchemy captures Luffy and brings him to their warehouse while the boys-]_

" _Hurry! Hurry! If Porchemy and his men get here, it's all over!"_

Better release my grip or this new pencil would not last either.

 _[-move their treasure.]_

Over at the other side, Porchemy has finished trying out a hammer on Luffy.

" _Bring me my gloves."_ The words have me tensing, snapping yet another pencil. _"Listen up, you little shit. What your friend Ace stole from us is an important sum of money to our crew. You know where it is, so go on and tell us already…!"_

Sounds of shifting. Luffy's dangling, moving around nervously, looking away.

 _WHAM!_

 _CReeeaK-!_

The world shifts a bit higher. Ah, the bed's frame has broken. I need to built another one now-

"… _It worked!"_

It hurt Luffy. It _hurt_ Luffy. He hurt my friend without hesitation.

I see red as I put down the pencil.

He dared to hurt lovable, little Luffy.

 _How dare he-?_

" _You shouldn't make pirates angry…especially our captain, Bluejam. He's a bit of a brute…"_

A whimper is choked back. Drops of tears can be heard – or are they blood? My hands are tied, and my hands are black with armament haki. I want to kill someone. I want to get Luffy out of there, and then kill someone. Preferably Porchemy-

" _GYAAAAAH! IT HURTS! I'M SCAAAAAAARED! SKYLAAAR…HELP MEEEE!"_

Snivelling sobs and wails. Flailing limbs and constant trembling as he cries out for somebody. For me.

I stiffen at his outcry.

 _(When did we become close enough for him to consider me his lifeline?_

 _When…did I become so attached to the little thing?)_

What kind of friend would I be if I knowingly turn away from him at this critical, life threatening moment?

 _Enough._

I rise to my feet, sliding them into dark flats.

Enough watching and hearing. Enough doing nothing.

To hell with the future.

 _I'm going to save Luffy._

…

…Or so I thought, but I make a turn mid journey to the pirates' warehouse anyways.

The boys are buzzing in panic when I arrive, arms full of treasure boxes and money which they're single-mindedly trying to move their treasury.

I inhale sharply, straining my ears to pick up on the minute pauses between beats. Both boys' hearts are beating in tandem, pounding furiously under the stress. But amidst the chaos, there's an irregular beat every now and then which, combined with the slack in efficiency, clearly points towards some worry.

Good.

I won't have to beat morality into them then.

The branch crunches below me as I fling myself into view.

Sabo yelps in alarm. Ace turns with widening eyes.

"You're-"

I grab them by the collar of their shirts and leap off the tree.

"Hey! What the hell-"

"Who are you anyways?!"

 _(Why would I have to answer your question when you ignored Luffy's cries for help?)_

I didn't answer them as I run.

I'm glad Mihawk gave me some degree of strength training. I'm able to drag the two struggling little rascals as I run.

"Answer us already, you weirdo!"

"Tch-!"

I throw the stupid boy into a tree when he attempts to kick me, pinning him to the trunk by his throat. Murderous eyes bore into mine, the very image of hatred which I really just _can't give a damn about right now._

"Do that again." My thumb digs into his throat. Ace gives a pained grunt while Sabo struggles in my grip. My blood is roaring, my ears thrumming at every sound and I'm definitely running high on adrenaline. "I dare you."

 _(What am I doing?_

 _Why am I doing this to my charge?)_

Time is dwindling by the second as I'm messing around with these idiots.

I need to get to Luffy as soon as possible.

"Who the _fuck_ are you?" Ace spits. I wince at the vulgarity. I highly doubt he understands it. "Why the hell are you kidnapping us?!"

I narrow my eyes at him, mind nitpicking at the one source of my incredulousness and generating furious words.

"Let me get this right." The words are coming without stutter. "You are asking me why I would kidnap two little brats who just aided Porchemy and his gang in kidnapping _your little brother_."

He flinches – at what? The irony? Or is it at my tone? Either ways, it's all so very funny.

"That's just so freaking ridiculous I can't even laugh!" I yell in his face. What sort of older sibling abandons their younger siblings like that? No, what sort of human being does that? Even as pathetic as I was, at least I made an effort to go out when my younger brothers needed me to. Yet this guy is just- Urgh!

"Luffy's not my brother." Ace glares. "And we didn't help Porchemy kidnap him."

"Yeah, and that totally rationalize the fact that _you didn't help stop him_." Freaking ridiculous.

"…We've been going down the route to Porchemy's base all the while." Sabo whispers in realization.

" _Exactly_." I spit back in Ace's face, swivelling around to glare equally at the sweating blonde. "You dig yourself into this mess. You resolve it."

"You're not the boss of us, _Girl_." Ace snarls.

"As if we'll take the orders of some stranger." Sabo adds in a mutter.

Hell. These two are the literal personification of idiocy itself. No wonder Garp always resorts to violence.

"Need I remind you, I am a stranger with your lives in my hands." I shake them by the cuffs of their shirts for emphasis. "So do me a favour and shut up so we can all get to Luffy as quickly as possible."

That's the end of the conversation. I don't want to get into another clearly useless argument, but-

"I bet that little shitty brat has already rat us out by now." Ace just had to mutter that.

Oh. That does it.

"That so-called _shitty_ brat is your little brother, Ace. And because a certain someone is not taking care of _his_ brother, I end up having to fix his wounds every. Single. Fucking. Night." I snarl in his face. "The way I see it, you're much shittier than Luffy. I don't care what kind of past you had," Ace snarls back while Sabo winces. "But that doesn't give you the right to act dismissive to a kid who followed you through hell for three months."

I take a huge breath, attempting to calm myself. My shoulders slump in weariness.

No more.

I really don't want to waste any of my words or breath arguing with this scum.

"We'll talk about the rest when we get there." I drag him into my hand with his shirt again. "Hopefully, you can prove to me that you're redeemable and not born a scum."

It's a low hit. I can hear Ace grinding his teeth at that insinuation, but we're already moving.

I leap down another rocky path with the two boys in arms, feeling the tension lingering in both mine and their limbs.

With that argument over and done with, I suddenly feel a lot sorrier for myself.

Oh jeez.

I've never seen a pair of siblings that's more screwed up than this.

Why the hell do I have to fix this? Why did the Death God deal them to me?

It's really a goddamned punishment.

Fuck it all…the tears are coming.

" _Haa…Haa…Sky-"_

 _Wham!_

I know I shouldn't have gotten angry. Being angry always makes the waterworks come. I'm just glad they didn't come in the midst of my fit with Ace, or it really would have ruined my argument.

 _(I'm sorry, Luffy…I'm so sorry…_

 _I shouldn't have let you follow this brat. I shouldn't have let you into Grey Terminal._

 _I should have accompanied you at the very least._

 _Now, you're paying for it._

 _All because of me.)_

"…tears…?" I hear Sabo whisper to Ace.

I ignore it as we make the final leap into a pile of metal, which I carefully navigated through with a few well located hops. Ignoring Sabo's startled yelp, I land us just outside the hideout's doors. Here, we should be close enough to prove my point to these stupid boys, but hidden away from sight and detection by Porchemy's lackeys.

Almost immediately, strangled gasps and coughs float over to our ears. I sit the two boys down the moment I felt them tense – an evidence that they won't run. As predicted, the boys merely lean closer to the metallic dome, adopting expressions of scowls and frowns.

Together, hunched as if paying attention to a radio, we listen to Luffy huff and puff, coughing weakly.

My shackles are rising. My hands turn black against my will. I _really_ want to just leap in and kick that man's arse right now, but that's hardly good for Luffy's future. I may hardly give a damn about Ace at this moment, but Luffy needs his brothers in order to become strong enough for his dream.

I lean in beside the boys, extending my scope of hearing.

There's panting from Luffy and tiny little drips that is most probably a mixture of blood and tears. Porchemy's hands are flexing with the gloves, but the crunches of his boots suggest that he's moving backwards from a punch. Belt's straining, clothes are shifting, and he's also panting softly. His heart is pounding hard, as if he's gone boxing, which is what he's done, but at the very least, it's not pumping harder in ready for a punch.

All these are little indications that he's not yet readying an attack. Until all the signs go wrong, there's still time to allow the idiots to listen in on their conversation.

"Answer me!" Porchemy roars, the sound making the men hiding behind the garbage dump flinch back.

"H-Hey, you kids. Get away from there! You don't know when Porchemy's gonna hit you guys with his spiked gloves!" One of the homeless men whisper-shouted to us, and Ace inhales sharply, eyes narrowing as his fists clench.

"Spiked gloves…That's what happening in there right now, old man?"

"Obviously! It's the only way they could hurt the rubber kid, so they took it!"

I watch out of the corner of my eyes as Sabo walks to the dump, searching for adequate weapons. Inside the hideout, Luffy coughs out a strangled reply. _(Luffy, it's just a bit more, I promise…)_

"…I won't say…"

Ace stiffens, whipping his head around to stare at the doors in shock.

I dodge a tap from Sabo instinctively, blinking when he offers me a pipe, along with another one to Ace. I nod in thanks.

"Why won't you tell us?!" Porchemy yells, apparently at his wits' ends. "Those little bastards have obviously abandoned you! They valued the treasure over your life! The most you can do now is tell us, and let us teach those shitty brats a lesson for stealing our things!"

Sabo tenses beside me, shooting me a look before he whispers into Ace's ears.

"We really should stop him now before he tells them!" He doesn't know my hearing is my haki, literally.

"No." Ace whispers back. His eyes lower momentarily as he recalls that long three months where Luffy's beaten up but still enduring. I meet his gaze evenly when he turns around. "We need a plan to save Luffy. That rubber idiot won't tell him even if he dies."

"Hah? Ace, now's not the time to be delusional. No seven year old can endure that kind of beating without-"

"You don't get it, Sabo. That little fool chased after me for three months without rest even when I'm kicking down trees at him and throwing him down bridges. He-"

"Haa…haa…I won't say…Even if I die, I won't say!…haa…"

"-won't give up." Ace finishes solemnly.

I tense when the air shifts.

The clothes brush against each other. The leather of Porchemy's belt flexes and the gloves tighten their grip, hearting quickening as he prepares to make a punch. I scowl as I dash away from the boys at breakneck pace, ducking into the door.

"Stupid brat! In that case…I should just finish you off right here and now."

The retracted arm shoots towards Luffy.

I tear my dining knife from my neck, breaking the metal chains as I fling it at the rope.

It's as if everything is happening in slow motion as the knife shoots into the rope. Porchemy makes a strangled sound of surprise when he sees it fly by. Luffy is panting, unaware even as he drops down towards the ground. I'm running, catching Luffy just before he touches dirt, and the punch sails over the air without meeting any contact.

"S-She…She saved him!" One of the lackeys (the only one that's sympathetic) yell.

"How reckless!" I hear Sabo facepalming outside the hideout. "Why'd she even bring us here like this?"

Ace grunts, muscles tensing in preparation to move.

"Wha-?!" Porchemy makes a sound of astonishment.

But none of that matters.

Safe.

He's safe in my hands now, all rubbery bundle of joy and maybe just a bit more of blood and snot and tears this time round, but he's safe.

I bite my lip as I take in each and every new injury he has. Head injury was a definite, with how much blood flowing down the side of his head. Arms, legs, even chest. …The majority of it is on the head though. A visit to Makino's is definitely due.

 _(Why did I even let this happe- Omph.)_

"S-Sky…Skylaaaar…!" Luffy wails as he wiggles around in my grip. He's snivelling pathetically, curling in as if trying to snuggle against my shoulder. "Skylar…I was soo scaaared…I called so many times but you didn't come and I-I….I-!"

I smile as I pick my dining knife off the ground and cut him free. The kid only sways before falling into my arms, clearly weak from blood lost and the pain all over. Makino's might be too far. We'd go to Dadan's, before heading down to Makino's.

"You little fuckers…How dare you mess with me…"

I huff as I heave Luffy up, turning blankly to the man.

He's the lowest. Stupid. Dumb.

If he had just approached Luffy with the intention to talk to begin with (like telling Luffy he's the boys' friend), Luffy would have told him the location and all this farce would have been avoided. Yet, he just had to start it off with violence.

Really, even with my condition, I can't see him as anything more than a wild foolish beast. Even the Tiger Lord has more humanity than him. At least it has an explanation for wanting to eat Luffy.

"I'LL PLUMMET YOU TO A PULP!"

Please. As if you could even.

But pretending to be helpless seems to work.

"STOOOOOOP!" The two boys knock over the entire wall with their pipes.

Racing over to Porchemy, Ace easily blocks a strike from the spiked gloves with his iron pipe, calling out Sabo's name as the boy runs in my direction. I blink when the boy hooks an arm around mine, pulling me out of the shelter and towards 'safety', behind the garbage dump the homeless men are hiding.

Ah, right. Even here in One Piece, men are apparently raised with the mindset that women are weaker and need to be protected. How could I have forgotten Monet's words?

But I'm not weak.

Mihawk taught me to be strong, and really…I want a piece of Porchemy myself for what he did.

"Ace!" Sabo turns his head in alarm upon noticing that his friend is not following. "What are you doing?! Let's run already!"

"You go on ahead!" Ace yells back, dodging strikes and blocking with his fist.

"That idiot!" Sabo yelps when I shove Luffy into his arms. "Hey! You-! What are you doing?!"

The next strike that Porchemy makes has both me and Ace defending ourselves with our pipes crossed.

"You…! Why did you stay?" Ace questions lowly under his breath.

"Oh? So the little girl thinks she can take me on too, huh?!" I flinch at the smell of garbage leaving his mouth. Jeez…does this man ever brush his teeth?

"Revenge." I murmur to Ace. His eyes widen before a smirk flashes across his face.

"Don't drag me down!"

I nod in response.

We duck another hit that comes from the sword this time, scattering in two separate directions. When he comes after me with yet another swing of the sword, I block it with my dining knife this time.

"Stop it already, you two! He's a real pirate…He's different from the punks around town!" Sabo's voice comes raspy from behind. I ignore his words soundly.

"Once I've faced an enemy…" Ace leaps up from behind Porchemy, swinging his iron pipe down while he's distracted. "…I never run!"

Porchemy grabs the pipe and throws him to the ground using it. Ace grunts in pain.

"You little rascal…Stop looking down on me!" Porchemy turns back to me.

I scowl as I block the sword with my haki infused pipe.

"Damn it…One after another…Hey! Look after him or we'll rob you blind next!"

"Eh, what…"

Sabo jumps into the fray.

"Woah-! Is that pipe black?" Sabo asks as he drags Ace off the ground, pulling him aside.

I wince at the question and allow my haki to slide back, leaving the iron pipe to be slice by the sword. Really, if there's anything I don't want to be revealed to Luffy, it'd be haki. Who knows how many formidable enemies he'll attract with it in the future…

"Hey, don't you think you're being too reckless? Just hand over the money and we'll let you off easy." Porchemy grins.

"As if! We can use this money for a far better cause than you!" Ace screams, rising back to his feet.

I shrug. I didn't really care either ways, but I just know I want a part of Porchemy's destruction.

"ENOUGH WITH THE BULLSHIT!"

I wince as I leap over another swing of the sword. It would be nice if Ace considers the fact that he's dealing his anger out on me.

"If I lose to a kid…I'll give up piracy!"

The two boys are preparing something, I can tell. Their hearts are beating faster as they charge forward, leaping upwards in the direction of Porchemy's head.

I reach out and grab the blunt side of his blade before he could swing the sword at them. Even without haki, I can at least still stop a sword.

"Gh-!" The pirate makes a sound of alarm when he notices, desperately trying to pull the sword from my trained grip.

"We'll make you give it up!" The boys yell as they swing their pipes down.

…

Luffy is all but jumping off deck in his joy at seeing the island. As Jimbe dashes about to chase after the handful of trouble, Ace is in awe himself as he leans back against the railings, peering up at the place known as the Nameless Island.

Flowers of all various colours and assortments litter the place, filling most land with their sheer expense. Beyond the petals that are gently fluttering in the air was what could possibly be the largest mansion Ace has ever seen lies at the heart of the island, painted a homey shade of white while cobalt blue cover its roof tiles. It's almost a palace, with its sheer size. Beyond that, there is a forest of tall looming trees, and also a tall pristine bridge connecting the island to…elsewhere, beyond the mist.

Ace furrows his brows in confusion as he strains his eyes.

A couple is crossing the bridge, but Ace still can't see what's beyond it.

"It's rainbow mist, yoi." Marco slouches against the railings as well. "Since Jin's on First Island, we only have clearance to this island. But if we head anywhere else, we'll find ourselves back at the same starting spot." That explains why the island's safe from marines.

"That mysterious mist…! I've seen it before with my crew!" Luffy turns back, stars in his eyes.

"Oh? That's amazing. I've never heard of a crew encountering rainbow mist in Paradise." Marco smiles indulgently as Luffy begins rambling off on some adventure which neither of them can make head nor tail of. "More importantly, turn the ship around and head for the back of the island. Going by the front is dangerous, yoi."

Bepo, the navigator and namesake of the ship, turns to Marco in confusion.

"Why?"

"Because if you go by front, a poison in the soil there sets in and will eventually cause you to lose all muscle control." Marco explains, soundly ignoring Ace's disgruntled look. "Of course, that means your heart too, yoi."

Bepo shudders at the thought.

"Aye-Aye! Turn the ship around at once!" He salutes.

"Roger!" The crew responds in turn.

Ace frowns at Marco as the phoenix turns to him.

"You've been here before, huh." It isn't so much a question as it is a bitter statement.

"Just once with Pops." Marco's face takes on a nostalgic look. "When Pops' Ringeye died."

Ace doesn't ask. It feels too private, especially when it belongs to a time before he joined the Whitebeard pirates. Still, he can't help but wonder if Pops' Ringeye, the crew member before him, died sacrificing themselves for Pops. What thoughts were they thinking? And…were they afraid of dying?

…It's meaningless to think about these things, when they're long gone.

 _(When she's gone.)_

Where the front of the island had seemed welcoming in its entirety, the back is ominous and intimidating. Tall dark trees and the same mysterious mist paint an atmosphere that seems to soak into their skin. There is a dock that is jet black, in a manner not unlike the gates to a haunted house…And a young boy who's crouching over at the side, fiddling with something on the ground.

Hearing their approaching submarine, the boy lifts his head to show a headful of blond curls and beady auburn eyes peering out curiously. A confusing grin spreads across his face when he sees the jolly roger.

"Finally! You're here!" The boy shouts out, bouncing slightly on the spot as he stands up. "Heeeey! Law! It's been so long!"

Ace blinks as he turns to Trafalgar in confusion.

The man in question is staring blankly for a second, the gears in his mind clearly turning in an effort to remember. Then, as those same gears begin to click (Ace is still miffed that _he_ 's still confused), the rookie's grey eyes widen and his jaw drops. Before long, Trafalgar is fully gawking at the boy on the docks – which ah, could be this 'Rosy', now that Ace thinks about it.

"R-ROSINANTE?!" The yelp tumbles out of Trafalgar's lips.

The crew is unsettled by their captain's demeanour. Luffy is cocking his head, a confused murmur of 'Tra-guy' at his lips. And Ace merely stares, alongside Marco and Jimbe, as they watch what could be an emotional reunion play out.

"Yeah, it's me! You've grown so big in the time I wasn't watching!" Rosinante grins, laughter in his voice.

"Y-You…" Ace blinks, smile faltering when Trafalgar uses his power to teleport over to the boy and- Gives him a punch to his face that sends the boy flying back-?! Trafalgar drags the boy up soon after, pointing his sword at his face. "You better have an explanation to why you didn't contact me after you 'died', or I will send you back to heaven again."

…Or maybe, not so emotional afterall.

Everyone gapes at the scene.

"C-C-C-Captaaaain! What are you doing?!" Bepo clutches his head and runs around in his panic.

"Hey, Tra-guy! Why did you hurt that kid?!" Luffy yelps, worried.

"Should I teach him a lesson?" Ace smirks at the opportunity, setting his fingers ablaze.

Marco grips his shoulder.

"No using the situation to take your irritation out on him, yoi."

Tch.

"W-Wait a moment, Law!" Rosinante waves his hands around, both flustered and scared. "I have a proper explanation! In the time I was gone, I was sent to some other world, doing some mission that the God allowed me to do after I argued with the judge! It's only three years ago that I'm allowed back here, and I-"

"That's three years that you didn't call me when you could. _Three years_." Where Ace is trying to absorb the large influx of info, Trafalgar is more focused on that. The tip of the sword approaches Rosinante's nose just a bit more.

"O-OKAY! I'm _sorry_ , okay?!" Rosinante yelps, crawling back on his arms. Trafalgar only pulls him back by his shirt, staring down at him with a gaze that could kill. "I just…didn't want to drag you down while I'm still weak in this body. Especially not when you now have a strong and united crew to support you."

The auburn eyes flicker upwards to the submarine, almost in emphasis.

The crew, excluding them of course, shuffle on the spot at once, both taken aback and flustered by the praise.

Trafalgar, the heartless bastard, only shifts his grip on the sword, glaring down at the kid with such intensity that even Luffy is shouting 'He's gonna kill him!' as the rubber idiot tries to escape Jimbe's grip.

"You are part of my crew from now on."

"Eh?" Rosinante stops his struggles, blinking quickly. "Erm, Law. Did you hear me correctly? I said I'm-"

" _You are my crew from now on."_ Trafalgar repeats, face darker than black as the sword inches forward. _"Got it?"_

"Yes! Yes, I do!" Rosinante yelps.

"Good." And the sword is sheathed. Trafalgar rises to his feet with the boy. "Two years from now, you'll set sail with us. When that time comes, we'll pick you up, so make sure you're strong enough then."

Rosinante blinks and laughs, patting Trafalgar's head fondly.

"You've become so grown-up, Law." Ace snickers under his breath, ignoring the seething glare Trafalgar sends his way. "Well, now that that's over, I'm supposed to-"

 _Flomp!_

Rosinante topples out of Trafalgar's arms as he turns. How is that even possible?

Trafalgar just pulls the kid out of the ground like he's used to it, heaving a sigh that proves it's a habit of his.

"T-To…guide you guys over to the cemetery." Rosinante continues as if he's uninterrupted. He wipes his bloody nose with a sleeve. Grey ringed auburn eyes (Ace notices now) flickers to his momentarily before they lower in respect. "Skylar has been cremated already." Ace tenses. "As part of her family, I would like to invite you to put an incense at her memorial…if you're fine with it."

His eyes flickers and dodges, wondering what he should do.

"Of course we'll attend!" Luffy announces boldly.

"Luffy!" Ace gasps.

"Skylar's as much of a sister to us as she is to you! It'd be rude not to attend!" Luffy argues, and Ace feels that twinge of exasperation pulling a deadpan from him.

"You're the last one who should be lecturing me on manners."

But the final decision is obvious.

Rosinante smiles, a thin sneer-like grin that probably would have makes everyone, with the sole exception of Trafalgar (that creepy guy), flinch.

"I'll guide those who're coming to the cemetery with me to Second Island then. As for the rest, feel free to go on to the mansion and stay for the day. If anyone asks, just tell them you're coming for Skylar." Rosinante shrugs off Trafalgar's lingering gaze and pats his hand twice, as if in comfort. "We'll return soon enough."

Those words are spoken mainly to the guy.

Taking the hint, Trafalgar nods.

"So, what are you guys going to do?" The captain turns to the ship's other guests.

"I would like to make a headstart to Fishman Island so it'd be more hospitable when you arrive there." Jimbe looks at Luffy when he says that, drawing a 'Shishishi' from the rubber idiot.

"As for me, I'm going to meet up with Jin. Gotta knock it into his head that death's not an option."

Ace nods in acceptance.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go already!" Luffy grins. "Hey, creepy boy, we're crossing the bridge, right?!"

"'Creepy boy'? I'm over 40 in mental age! And well, we are but-"

Ace can't say that he's all that surprised when a rubbery limb drags Rosinante out of Trafalgar's arms and right into him. Wincing as he braces himself, he watches as Luffy extends his free hand to the mast, getting ready to sling them in the direction of the bridge.

"Wha- Y-Y-You can't be serious!" Rosinante gapes.

"Don't kill him, Mugiwara-ya." Trafalgar says glumly.

"Good luck." Marco lifts a hand in a half-assed wave.

Ace only grimaces.

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughs as they propel forward. "To Second Island!"

Then, they're flying before the pain hits several seconds later.

…

Where the First Island is like a dreamland, Second Island is closer to home, with much vegetation, markets, and windmills, in general. As they trudge away from the bridge that connects the two islands together, Ace sees people, unlike the isolated First Island, and most if not all of them lack that signature ring in their eyes.

"Ah, Rosinante-kun! Visiting again? Thanks for walking my dog this morning. Would you like a candy?" A kind elderly offers a wrapped candy, which Rosinante takes with a smile.

"Thanks, Granny. Feel free to call me if you ever need my help again."

"Oh no. You Ringeyes are always so kind, offering protection to us for free. I couldn't possibly ask for more."

"Don't say that. We do that because we want to. Besides, you guys also give us produce frequently without payment, don't you? Then we're equal."

Small talks and such come up as they head away from the market, down the straight path that crosses the fields, and towards the mountain. Ace is bewildered by how friendly and generous these people are, each and every one of them always offering something of some sort. None of them got angry when Luffy snatches things off Rosinante's hands. They only laugh, offering yet another vegetable or candy. Even when Ace succumbs to his narcolepsy in the middle of the street, he's only picked up by the stronger fishermen and carried over to the nearest stall's shelter.

It's almost as if this is another sort of heaven – one where everyone accepts everyone without judgement.

"It's because they're used to the Ringeyes." Rosinante explains as he pushes a leaf away for them. "Ringeyes are rarely good with words, so we show our affection through little actions like protecting the village, building the bridge, and offering gifts we receive from the other islands. This village is observant, so they adapted to accommodate us despite our misgivings."

Rosinante smiles back at them, and the brothers flinch at once.

"See? They didn't grimace even once when I smiled at them."

Despite that, Rosinante does not seem offended by their reaction.

Luffy laughs beside him when Rosinante slips again and catches the kid before he could land on some sharp twig.

"The people here are all good people!" Luffy blurts out with a grin.

"…Yes…They're good people." Rosinante hesitates but smiles and agrees with Luffy.

"You guys are nice too, doing all those things for them! One day, I'd really like to bring my crew here…" That's the first open mention of his crew, and Ace welcomes it with a grin. "Chopper and Franky and Brook would really like it here. Ah, and maybe Hancock and her sisters too…!"

Ace doesn't know why those girls are included, but he teases his brother about it anyways.

"To do that, you first need to get the vivre card of someone here." He wouldn't doubt his brother could get it though. "Otherwise, you'd be turned away right at their door."

"That's right!" Luffy grins. "Hey, Creepy Boy, can you give me your vivre card?"

"Maybe if you remember my name correctly." Rosinante comments as they draw up to the cemetery.

It's obvious that this is the cemetery by the barrage of dark pointy fence that is surrounding the entire area. Through the parted, decorated gates, he sees numerous stone markers, arranged neatly in rows and columns that span for god knows how wide. It barely takes a moment to search before he finds her grave.

"Ace-?"

He races down to the stone marker, ignoring Luffy's surprised cry.

Ace arrives panting lightly, blinking up at the arrangement of stones.

Surrounding the grave is a short barrier of stones, elevated and intentionally placed such that they'd have to climb a step before they could touch the stone marker. The stone marker itself is an assortment of rectangles and squares, layered upon each other before coming to the one tallest and thinnest stone, which has her name etched into it. There are flowers all over, bouquets with written wishes, but the one which caught his eye is the one in the centre – a bunch of sunflowers with a single short note scribbled onto it.

' _Thanks for being my charge._

 _\- Monet'_

It reads.

He's missed one of the letters' recipients, but really, he couldn't care less about that.

"This is Skylar's grave?" Luffy asks as he follows closely.

Rosinante nods.

"I see. All I have to do is to get one of the incense there and put it in the incense burner, right?"

"Yes."

"Got it." Luffy bounces up, cheerfully grabbing two sticks of incense and tipping them to Ace, but- "Ace, light it for me, will you?" –he's not smiling through it all.

Ace numbly flicks his fingers, lighting up the incense.

 _(Isn't it funny?)_

Even though he had been crying so much when he first listened to her dial, he can't even muster a drop of tear right now, in front of her grave. It's just…numb, on the inside. Like he's already been emptied of all emotions and there's no more he can pour out even though he's in front of her.

Luffy smacks him hard on the back, like how he did for Marco.

Ace accepts his incense and watch as Luffy gingerly places his into the tiny pot.

"Thanks for being my big sister, Skylar! I'll definitely become the Pirate King! Just you watch me!" Luffy laughs and smiles even though there's no reply, nodding in satisfaction thereafter. "Hey, Ace! Hurry it up, will you?"

And his brother drags Rosinante out of there, as if he's always been one for tact.

Still numb, still worn, Ace stands for a long time before plopping down, laughing wryly.

"It's ridiculous." He takes off his cowboy hat, placing it on his lap. "Luffy of all people just tried to give us some private them. Can you believe that?"

No response comes.

He doesn't know what he's expecting.

He doesn't know what he's supposed to say either, so Ace just sits in silence, peering up at her tall gravestone.

It's…complicated. All he sees now is just the times they spent together. All the times they were smiling, laughing, and crying together. He doesn't know how he's going to move on.

 _(It would have been all so much easier if he was the one who died instead.)_

Slowly, gently, Ace leans in and closes his eyes tentatively, imagining her in place of the cold, hard stone.

"Hey, Sky." He whispers. "I've chosen to go on your mission. If…I manage to give out all the letters…Will you come back?"

As usual, no answers come.

He expected that.

…

With that side journey _(is it really just a side though?)_ done, he returns to the mansion in hopes of finding Marco.

Luffy had immediately grumbled of hunger after they left the cemetery _(they never spoke of what he did in there)_ and the village had been more than happy to indulge the guest in an all-you-can-eat fest. While Rosinante had stayed to thank the people for their hospitality, Ace decided to move back to the mansion by himself in hopes of joining Marco in beating the shit out of Jin so that he doesn't have any stupid thoughts again.

Now that he thinks about it, he probably should have asked Rosinante about what happens to Ringeyes who lose their charges. But…oh, well.

Following Marco's presence, he travels up to the third floor. And… for a lack of a better phrase, he got lost.

Looking down at the tunnelling, never ending hallways, Ace tries to sense for Marco again. The phoenix with his flickering, burnt but oddly holy presence is somewhere to the ten o'clock of him, but haki never really does indicate which turn he should take besides a straight path through the walls.

He turns left and goes forward. Backtracks, when he finds himself heading into a library, and again, backtracks when he enters a drying room.

Scratching his head, Ace scowls.

It's like following Luffy's tracks, all over again.

Then out of nowhere, he hears a murmur.

"I'm sorry, yoi."

Ah, that's Marco's voice.

If he's close enough to be heard, he must be down the hall or maybe around that turn…Aha!

As he readies himself to turn the knob, a stray thought stops him.

Why would Marco be apologizing?

"Pops died. Along with several of our brothers and even a sister. I failed them all."

He reaches out, and the presence he feels in there is so weak, it's unrecognizable.

But…it's not Jin.

Anyone at the war would already know that information, and he most certainly saw Jin there. Jin doesn't need any informing.

So…who the hell is he talking to?

"I knew we shouldn't have entered that war. Jin told Pops and I so. Even so…we still had to risk it and save Ace. Who would willingly abandon family? ...And I know you would have agreed no matter what the risks, yoi."

Not Jin. It's not Jin he's speaking to, and it's someone who wasn't at the war. It's someone who would have wanted to be there, but couldn't.

A list begins forming in his head. Faces and names flickering, flashing. Everyone who was there at the war. Everyone who had been at Pops' funeral. Red-haired, Luffy, even Whitney…Jimbe, Hancock…Sabo…

It's unlikely he missed out anybody. _(Ace always remembers family.)_ Unless they're already dead and-

Ace feels a suspicion forming at the back of his mind. His grasp around the knob loosens, because he doesn't know what to do if he's correct. If _he's really still alive and Ace recklessly threw his family to the wind all because of a misunderstanding._

 _(He's sitting beside the bed, head leaning against clasped hands. Through weary eyes, he could see his face, smooth and relax as if he's just sleeping. The heart monitor beats consistently. Even then, there's no movement or words. No cheerful clap on the back or an obnoxious snicker as he pulls a prank or even flushed cheeks and beaded sweat as he dishes out plate after plate to satisfy Ace's insatiable appetite._

 _Nothing._

 _Just…Beeps._

 _Two more days._

 _They still have two more days before Whiskey pulls the plug._

 _Ace can't even muster a plea to wake up anymore._

 _Instead, he stands. He dashes out of the infirmary, into the one room which he knows better than his own. As the door slams open, Skylar rises from her bed dazedly, clearly disorientated from her haki coming into effect. Ace merely charges forward, taking her by the shoulders as he shakes her roughly, hoping to force an answer from her mouth._

" _Hey," He's heard of the rumours about Ringeyes knowing of the future. And if it's true, then- "Do you know if he's going to wake up? Can you tell me how long he's going to take before he does?"_

 _Ringed grey eyes fly open and her fingers tremble. She shakes her head – in response? In fear? In confusion? – as she tries to pull her smaller hands out of his, only for him to hold on firmly, tight enough to be painful and even threatening._

" _I-I don't-" She stutters, voice quieting as the forced answer escapes her lips. "I don't know, Ace."_

 _He slumps, shoulders falling. Of course. Of course, he should have expected that answer, because – how could he have thought a Ringeye would answer questions of the future?_

" _N-No," Smooth hands pats his face firmly, pulling him up to look into a frowning face. "It's not what you're thinking, Ace. I_ really _don't know, because something has already been changed."_

 _What? He stares, wide-eyed, as she pursues her lips._

" _Originally, Thatch was supposed to die. But Jin intervened so…so…" She hesitates, but the message is clear and Ace looks at her, full of hope. "…He might just pull through, even if it's just a tiny possibility."_

"… _I see." He releases a shuddering breath. "Thank you, Sky. Thank you so much."_

 _She blinks, wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights. "…Welcome?"_

 _He laughs and pulls her into a delightful embrace, because Thatch might just pull through!)_

Thatch might have pulled through.

That thought should bring a thrill of delight, yet all it does is bring dread.

Because… _(If Thatch is still alive and he learns of what Ace did in his sake, how would he feel? Would he blame himself for Pops' death and-)_ …it just feels like there's ashes in his mouth. He's happy that his brother might be alive, but how would they handle all this without Pops? All this…this mess…

"…I don't know what to do from now on, but-" Marco's voice cracks. "But we'll pull through, in one way or another."

Ace grips the knob just a little tighter.

 _(Is it a lie or a truth?)_

While he's off dancing in his world, chasing after her, his first mate had been thinking of this. Yet…even knowing that, even if it settles heavily on his heart…he can't find it in himself to stop. Because it feels like he'd drown in self hatredif he stops, and chasing is the only way he knows how to gather himself and carry on.

"The Whitebeard pirates are strong, not just because of Pops, yoi. We'll survive this, so that even when you wake up, there will still be a home for you…Tha-"

He's just about to push the door open when he is instead, pulled back by someone.

A grunt is muffled by gloved hands.

He struggles, kicking strongly when the stranger turns him around by the shoulder, meeting his eyes head on. Dark beady eyes widen. Ace falters and feels his mouth move, behind a still clasping gloved hand. _(Since when did he ever wear gloves?)_

"Jin?"

…

"Haa…haa…"

In the aftermath of the fight, Porchemy and his goons are beaten into the ground while the two boys are left panting heavily and moderately injured. Luffy has already fainted by now, the pain of his wounds dragging him into darkness, while the homeless men are all but scuttling away from us even with Sabo's threat of robbing them blind.

Ace wipes a swollen cheek with the back of a hand. Sabo sighs deeply as he bends down to pick up his top hat, brushing the dust off it.

"Finally, we win." Sabo comments, appraising the haphazard state of things. "I thought we'd never beat him."

I, frankly, stayed out of the majority of the fight, hoping to see them handle things in their own way. They didn't disappoint.

"Bastard should never have picked a fight with us." Ace spits, and Sabo knocks him in the head with one abandoned half of Ace's pipe.

" _You_ 're the one who started the fight first with them, dumbass." Ace takes the pipe and frowns down at the two halves.

"We need money for our pirate ship."

"That doesn't mean you had to risk our lives and rob the most dangerous man on this island!"

"Well, we beat him." Ace says petulantly. What a meaningless banter.

"Correction, this is his lackey, not Bluejam in person." Sabo sighs heavily, shaking his head. "Forget it! We should get back to the woods before any backup comes. Hey…you! You're coming too, aren't you?!"

I stiffen at being addressed and frown, looking at Luffy.

The reddish blood has long since turned dry and sticky. Luffy is snoring loudly, a snot bubble blowing from his nose, but that hardly negates the need for him to see a proper medic for his injuries. I can do without Luffy becoming more stupid.

Not to mention…I shift my gaze to the confused boys. They're injured too.

With some contemplation, I shake my head, lifting Luffy under one arm. Then, I approach Sabo, extending a hand.

"Handshake? Come to think of it, we never got a proper introduction, did we?" He laughs, grabbing my hand.

I use the opportunity to knock him out and lift him under my other arm.

"SABO?!" Ace's yell is both alarmed and incredulous.

I glance at him before running into the woods.

"Hey! How dare you?! Return Sabo to me!"

I dodge one half of the pipe which is tossed at me and leaps over another, continuing my track to Windmill Village.

The mindset is simple. I only have two arms and three kids to bring to the village. If I take Sabo, Ace will most certainly follow. I hardly care about what he thinks if it's for his own good, so really, this is for the best.

"YOU…BITCH!"

I grimace.

I would really wish for his language to be more polite though.

…

There are times when I hate standing out and times when I let my conscience get the better of me. This is one of those times when both views collide and clash.

Gasps resound through the village as I drag the boar down with me to Makino's bar. It's a big, fat boar, enough to at least give the whole village a scrumptious meal for the day, but even then, it still feels kind of insufficient. Amidst the stares and the gapes, I focus on translating my inner thoughts into Chinese. That, at least, preoccupies me from trembling beneath their gazes.

Oh, but still – I shove the boar off my shoulder, dropping it with a 'thump' that sounds like it shakes the ground – what they must think of me now. Hopefully, it won't be anything bad.

I enter the bar to escape the stares, and the spacious, emptiness of it all most definitely appeal to me.

Makino turns in the middle of her conversation with a white clad doctor, a gasp falling from her lips before a delighted smile spreads across them.

"It's you! Thank you so much for rescuing Luffy, Ace, and Sabo!"

I dodge an attempt at embrace nervously. The woman only blinks in surprise, crouching down with a still wide smile on her face as she reaches out a hand.

"What's your name?"

I hesitate, blinking with wide eyes.

"Sky…Skylar." I choke out, reaching out to grip just one of her fingers between two of mine before releasing it. Too much contact is still out of my comfort zone, even now, but I could at least take a handshake, or fingershake, in this case.

Makino doesn't mind.

In fact, she grins, a beautiful kind smile painting her face.

"It's my pleasure to meet you, Skylar _-chan_."

I flush, flinching away from her.

I can hear Luffy's loud sunny presence and Ace's hateful one above. Since the doctor is here, I can only assume that all treatment at the clinic is already done, and the boys need some uninterrupted rest, which explains the emptiness of the bar. But little did the adults know that the boys are already awake.

"E-Erm." I fiddle with my fingers, timidly pointing in the direction outside the door. "Medical payment."

"Payment?" Makino tilts her head.

As she and the doctor travel over to the door to finally see the boar which I've caught, I dash away, running up the stairs that's in a hallway beside the spacious room.

"Thank you, Skylar-chan!" Makino is yelling behind me when she realizes my intention.

I muster an unseen smile.

Without pause, I move on to the boys.

Upstairs, I can already hear quite the clamour going on in the rooms. Luffy is crying, no doubt having flashbacks after waking up. Ace is testing his broken pipe, while Sabo is lecturing Ace for all his idiocy, ranting after he's finished processing their whereabouts.

I stay outside the room, pondering if I should enter, before abandoning all thoughts and walking in.

Rubbery limbs shoot towards me at once before I have to stabilize myself from toppling over. Luffy's face is hideous when he looks up at me, all tears and snot pouring down a bandaged cherub face.

"Skylaaar! I was so scared! I thought I was going to die!"

Regardless of my discomfort, I rub his back. I know how he felt. His heartbeat hadn't been lying when Porchemy beat him up. Still, he must have been crying for a long time, because-

"Shut up! How long are you going to keep crying?! I hate cowards and cry babies!" Ace snaps.

Luffy shuts up at once, surprising all of us.

"T-Thank you…" The bow is just a bit toned down with it being against my chest. Sabo and Ace stares. I simply hold him. "Tha-thank you for sav- _hic_ …" Another sob is choked out.

"Why you little…!"

I cradle Luffy tighter to me instinctively. Sabo also reaches out, pulling Ace back by the shoulder as his eyes meet mine.

"Hey, hey! He's just thanking you!" He lowers his voice into a whisper as he drags Ace back down onto the bed. "Also, think about the consequences! Remember what we talked about? That girl's not someone we should be messing with, previous ally or not."

What they talked about?

A flash of my outburst enters my mind and I flush, burying my face in Luffy's head in shame.

I don't regret it since it got the boys closer together, but…what must they think of me now?

"Tch." Either ways, whatever they think I would be doing to them, it gets Ace to calm down. Beady eyes glance at me briefly before flicking back to Luffy. "I'll make this clear, once and for all: Neither Sabo nor I wanted to save you. It's just that girl over that forced us to do it, you got it?"

"You did?"

I look down at puppy eyes and shake my head. The boys chose to help of their own accord.

"Skylar says she didn't."

"Can't you tell when she's lying, damn it?!" Ace grits out angrily, fuming when neither of us seem willing to change our statements. "Anyways, why didn't you just tell those bastards?! You knew those guys kill women and children without hesitation!"

"But…If I'd told them, I couldn't be your friend anymore!" Luffy sniffles before answering.

"So what?! It's better than dying! Why do you want to be friends with me so bad anyway?!" Ace points at Luffy in accusation, eyes flashing to me as he remembers my words. "Don't you remember what I did to you?! And now, you've followed me all the way here!"

"Do we need a reason to want to be somebody's friend?!" Luffy asks, taking me and Ace aback. Eh-? "Ace is a good person! Even though you're sometimes mean, you always stay around to make sure that I'm safe and following you has only made me stronger! You also saved me this time round! Is it bad wanting to be friends with you?!"

Having said his part, Luffy huffs and turns his head back to my shoulder petulantly, wrapping his arms snugly around my waist.

The original line of events…had most definitely not happened in this manner. I remember it had been a matter of necessity back there – of Ace needing to feel needed, in order for his existence to be validated. Luffy not wanting to be alone had fulfilled that criteria in that world, but…but here, it's satisfied by me, so he has a different reason for wanting to be friends with Ace. Without needing Ace, Luffy had expanded his scope and saw the things Ace's been doing for him, which gives him a separate reason for desiring friendship: the fact that Ace is a 'good' person.

I look up and I see shock painting Ace's face.

It's sad, that Ace is so astounded to be considered 'good'. That he possibly never thought that he can be good in another person's eyes…It's disconcerting.

 _(But is that enough? Is being wanted able to meet his desire of being needed?)_

My eyes flicker, and I feel a jolt when another set of beady eyes catches mine. We look away at once, but it's apparent at that point that we're registering each other's concern for the same boy. Sabo knows, too, that it's not normal, so Sabo allows this sensitive conversation to continue.

"…You think I'm a good person?" Ace asks.

 _(I remember I used to think that…I'm no good for this world.)_

"Mh!" Luffy nods.

"So you feel better when you're around me?"

 _(That my existence makes no difference to the people around me, save for the negative ones.)_

"You…You need me?" Ace reiterates.

"Yeah." Luffy answers.

 _(The thoughts spiral…before they asked:)_

"Do you…want me to be alive?"

 _(Why am I still alive?)_

"Of course!" Luffy shouts.

I blink when rubbery arms squeeze me subconsciously, rooting me back in reality.

When I'm back, it's hard to miss how Sabo is staring more intensely at me, having witnessed the moment I let my guard down. I duck my head and push myself to focus on Luffy instead of the growing insecurity about how – _someone has noticed, need to hide, hidehidehide._ I gulp, drawing comfort from the warmth Luffy is radiating.

The two 'D's talk, oblivious to our moment of interaction.

"Okay. But I hate little babies like you."

"I'M NOT A BABY! I'M STRONG!"

"Strong?! Then what are you crying like that for?! Crying on a girl's shoulders, too!"

I momentarily despair when Luffy unpeels himself from me to bump heads with Ace.

"Did you ever get punched by spikes?! I'm only seven! When I'm your age, I'll never cry! I'll be tougher than you!"

"I never cry even when I was seven, Stupid! I'm not like you!"

A soft sigh escapes my lips as Luffy promptly declares his dream of becoming stronger in order to fulfil his promise to Shanks. Ace, as can be expected, only mocks his dream. This is all too much clamour. Why do I willingly submit myself to this? Noticing that Sabo's side of the room is furthest from all this noise, I sidle up to him, intentionally parking myself in the small space between his bed and the wall. It's cosy, cool, and quiet. It's nice.

"H-Hey," I call out to him, drawing his attention. "I'm sorry. For…erm…knocking you out." I whisper.

"Ah? Oh! It's no problem!" Sabo grins. It's a cheeky toothy smile that looks charming on the blonde, unlike Luffy. "I heard from Ace that you did that to bring us here. Thanks for your help!"

I dip my head in acceptance. That doesn't really curb the guilt, but it alleviates it at least.

"My name is Skylar." My first introduction without stuttering. I'm proud. "You are…Sabo, right?"

"That's right." Sabo beams.

"…Sabo, I'm sorry."

"…You're not planning on knocking me out again, are you?" He instantly becomes wary. Good, at least this one learns from his mistake. Upon hearing his words, Ace leaps to his friend's side at once, unintentionally dragging Luffy along.

"Get back, Sabo! I'll take care of her for you!" Ace grips his pipe.

"Don't you dare hurt Skylar!" Luffy bristles, jumping in front of me.

And all these happen while I'm still folded in my small corner, looking mostly harmless with my knees to my chest.

"E-erm. It's not that." I pull Luffy down to the corner with me. The kid's probably agitating his injuries with all this moving. "Just…Even though I brought you here, I can't let you guys stay here for a complete, full treatment. We need to move back to Mt. Corvo tomorrow."

"Eh?! Why?! I haven't seen Makino in so long!" Luffy complains.

"We just…can't stay for long this time." I look at the other boys timidly.

Ace doesn't look crestfallen, but it's obvious from his silence that he doesn't like this. In the few hours Makino took to reassure Ace the doctor wouldn't hurt them, it's clear she has endeared herself to him.

Sabo, on the other hand, hasn't yet met her but the puzzles are already clicking in his mind.

"The pirates might come, huh." Sabo folds his arms. Under the questioning looks he receives, he explains for the other boys. "The Bluejam pirates, as their name suggests, have a ship. They might cross Mt Corvo by sea and come to terrorize this village if they hear that we're here."

"But what about Grandpa?" Luffy suggests. "He'll come and beat up the pirates if they attack this village, won't he?"

"I've checked, but Garp-san is in Grand Line doing his duty." I pass them the morning news, which has Garp's picture plastered over it. Garp's rescuing some country apparently. "He can't come back in time to protect Windmill Village, Lu."

"Useless old man." Ace snorts, tossing the paper away.

He's not so much of a concern as Luffy is though. I look at the kid carefully, gauging his reaction. Those few times I had brought him here due to the Tiger Lord, he has always stayed for a couple of days before the bandits come down and drag him away bodily. Luffy has gotten lost a few times searching for the path back to Windmill village thereafter. I worry about having to do this to Luffy.

"…Well, it can't be helped then!" Luffy smiles, surprisingly. "We'll come back later though, right?"

…He's grown up a little in the time he's away from Makino.

I pretend not to see the crack in the door, or hear the sound of her gentle presence, strumming with emotion.

"Of course."

…

In a way, Windmill Village is just like Nameless Island.

Time slides by without notice, the day being spent without awareness of the number of hours before we have to leave. As usual, my rule of three meals of sea king a day is carried out, and I try to ignore the gapes once again as I drag the remains of the sea king to Makino's bar. I show her how to cook sea kings in various ways, and the village has a feast a night on the boar and sea king I've caught. Luffy laughs and joins in with the village dance. Sabo's roped in by Makino, while Ace turns beet red when Sabo gives a gentlemanly bow and invites him to the dance.

It's like the idyllic days all over again.

It's…nice. In a way.

Leaving the boys snoring, I'm stopped at the bar's doors by Makino, who unquestioningly offers some clothes for the cold night.

"You can sleep here if you want, Skylar-chan." Makino is hunched over as she wraps her old scarf around me. "We have plenty of room, and it's dark out and…"

I shake my head. Piyo must be worried sick now.

"Thank you." I pat her large smooth hands in appreciation.

Makino smiles, face reddening slightly.

"T…That should be my phrase."

I blink rapidly when her eyes cloud over with tears. W-Wha-? What did I say? My fingers practically dance by my sides as she bows her head, the emotion wrecking her shoulders. E-Eeeeh? P-PMS? 'Thank you'? What-?

' _Thank you.'_ Her inner voice whispers to me, but it's totally no use.

I take a step back, hands hovering. I don't understand.

"You took care of Luffy in the time he's staying with the bandits, didn't you?" Makino smiles tearfully when she lifts her head, grabbing my tiny hands with hers. "Thank you _so_ much, Skylar-chan. Thank you for bringing him back when he's there all alone."

She fumbles, struggling to find words to put to her feelings.

"I-I know I'm not his mother, but I've looked after Luffy since he was just an infant a-and…to have him up there all alone without knowing he's safe, it just _kills_ me." Makino rambles. "Dadan came by a while ago…and even though I know he's safe with her, i-it's just…Why does he have to go up and live there, when he can be with me?" She shrugs helplessly. "What's the difference?"

 _(Friends, I guess.)_

I look down at her shaky hands which are holding mine, at her trembling shoulders and her flushed face, straining to hold back the tears from trailing out.

I think…I can understand just a little.

How tormented must Makino have felt?

For a teenager to be saddled with an infant which is not even hers, raise it, form an attachment to it, and then have his rightful guardian rip him away from her without explanation or detail seven years later…Did Garp even inform her where he's going? Or the fact that he has a brother? All she could do is to go on with life, knowing that some part of her is gone and she's helpless to stop it because she's powerless.

In a way, it's worse than losing Luffy to death.

I pull a hand from her grip and reach up to pat her head.

Makino blinks tearfully, surprised.

Poor Makino. She's about my age if I never committed suicide. I can't imagine how impatient or unnerved she must have felt every day until she saw me that day. I'm glad I reached out to Luffy back then.

"We'll keep him safe." All of us, including Sabo and Ace. "I'll make him write letters to you daily."

Makino smiles and I yelp when I'm pulled into a hug.

' _Thank you.'_ A soft whisper repeats once again. I smile and hesitantly accept the gesture.

…

Dawn sees the four of us heading up the path to Mt Corvo. We each accept a final hug from Makino, reluctantly or not, before we're off, each carrying bagfuls of medicine with instructions, food, water, and even proper sleeping bags. Down the winding path, through the hospitable village, and then pass a sign that warns about danger. The road splits beside a particularly large tree with gaping marks on it.

"Hmmmm…Is it right or left again?" Luffy cocks his head in question.

"Why're you leading when you don't know?!" The two older boys yell in unison as they give Luffy a combined, well-deserved smack on the head.

I sigh and grab Luffy's hand, guiding them the correct way – off the path and into one that starts at a strange point. Sure, Haki might only provide a straight path, but Mt Corvo is a dog-eat-dog world where nobody will mind if a few trees tumble. From here, I can hear the rivers flowing down towards the ocean. Beside it, there's my tree, a sleepy symphony of birds' chirps forming illegible words. It has started having its own voice after Piyo gathered a bunch of its friends to the tree, but at this point of time, it's still too young to speak properly.

We climb uphill, following the path till it begins to be too clustered to walk. There, we had our lunch break, which consists of the sandwiches Makino made us. We make a side track to the cliff upon stumbling upon across another boar, which the boys quickly cook and make into their tea break, before we continue. A tarzan-like manoeuvre across a valley, a walk across a bridge, and then jumping on crocs to cross the river. It's evening when we arrive at my house.

"Why are we here?" Sabo questions, looking around inquisitively as if he's never been there.

I give him a deadpan look and brush aside some leaves that camouflage my door, revealing the house.

"Tomorrow," I say to Ace, who looks uneasy as he enters my house. "We'll go back to Dadan's."

The night is particularly dangerous. More specifically, for whatever twisted reasons it has, the Tiger Lord always comes out to find me in the middle of the night. That's why I had to come back yesterday. It isn't so much the idea of home as it is a sneaking suspicion that the Tiger Lord might come down to the village in search of me. I wasn't about to risk that.

"Yes! I have a comfy bed to sleep tonight!" Luffy cheers, dropping into sleep the instant he climbs onto my bed.

"Don't be so at home!" The boys yell at him in irritation.

I shrug.

"You can join him if you want." I smile as a snot bubble came out from Luffy's nose. "I'm going hunting."

"Wait, I'll come along." Ace says, almost snarling when I pause. "We can take care of ourselves just fine."

I don't doubt their ability to do so, but… "Sabo, can you stay with Luffy?"

"Huh? Why?" Sabo blinks, confused.

"If he's alone and sleeping, we don't know what the Tiger Lord might do if it finds him." The blonde looks incredulous, swallowing something in his throat as he turns slowly to look between Luffy and myself.

"Hey, hey! What did you do to the Tiger Lord? Why is he looking for you? Is that why you didn't want us to travel at night?"

"It's…" I trail off. I don't really know, to be honest. "…complicated."

I leave with Ace.

It takes only one second of tracking before it already feels awkward.

I scratch my head as I look out for any bear or croc that sounds large enough to sate two and a half bottomless holes. Between my speech about suicide, that outburst about saving Luffy, _and_ his obvious existential crisis, the tension in the air feels like it can be cut by a butter knife. Un-haki-infused. Not to mention, we're both private people, and talking just…isn't really the way we do things.

But there's one thing I really ought to say no matter what.

"T-Thanks." I choke out finally. "For saving Luffy."

Ace grunts.

That's that.

We capture a croc together. Not much can be said about the process save for Ace pulling it out by the tail while I neutralize it with a few punches. Heaving it onto a long log we found, we tie it up with vines and carry it back to my tree, with Ace at the back and me at the front leading the way.

"Hey."

The rough voice comes so suddenly and softly while we're walking that I pause momentarily before continuing the journey.

"…Y-yes?" I squeak timidly.

"…The things you said before, back at the cliff. Is it from experience?"

The question is blunt and jolting.

I want to turn around to see what expression is on his face, because – he can't possibly not be judging me now, can he?

But, I stop before I could turn my head.

Something about him not being able to see my face gives me a surprising wave of confidence to answer. I wonder if that's what gave him the strength to ask the question.

" _Yes._ " Yes, it's experience. Just probably not in the way he thinks it is.

Ace remains silent, so I assume that it's the end of the conversation.

Ahead, I can see my tree – colourful from being filled with birds of great variety, including a chirping Piyo who's chirping out a greeting – gradually approaching us. The sky is darkening. I hope Sabo had the initiative to light the candles inside, or it's going to be a bumping fest.

"…Will it ever get better?" The question comes surprising.

It's Ace admitting that he has problems, just like how I unintentionally admitted I had, back on the cliff. He didn't elaborate, but then again, I suppose with all the information I've given him about me, he doesn't think he needs to.

We've both been at the very bottom of the world – which is the dark, dark abyss lying within our heads. Phobias, heritage…Our own personal hell will probably always be right by our sides, holding our hands. So long as we live, that hell will definitely come back to haunt us, just like how mine entered my mind in that moment when I see Ace standing on a platform, rope in hand. For Ace, his parentage will cause his very death in the future.

But until the time those dark thoughts return, there are always times which makes it worth it to continue living.

Times spent with Monet, Mihawk, Jin, the Ringeyes…Times spent with Luffy and even now, with Sabo and Ace…

I laugh when I see Luffy poking his head out of the door, meat burnt into his eyes.

The skies are filled with a gorgeous summery red like that day when I turn my head around and smile at Ace.

"It will, since you've met Luffy now."

…

"Wow. You look like shit."

That's all Ace could think of, really, when he is finished being dragged into the opposing room by Jin.

The brunette scowls, massaging the bridge of his nose tersely.

"Thank you very much for your assessment. I totally give a fuck about your opinion."

Ace scowls back, dropping onto the chair beside the bed.

"So much for being concerned." He snaps back, unwilling to take his shit lying down. He may understand Jin's circumstances, but he knows that the man sometimes needs some blunt smacks in order to come to his senses.

"I know. I'm sorry." Jin sighs, resting his cheeks on his hands. Ace is unnerved to see how dark those circles below his eyes really are close up, and how many more wrinkles the Ringeye has gained in his absence. "I'm just…lacking a bit sleep."

"A whole lot of sleep you're missing there." What the hell is he even doing awake? Did Marco really give him a good talking to?

Thinking about Marco makes him think about the coma patient in the other room again, which makes him think about how he's stopped from seeing his identity. The shock of seeing Jin so deathly pale fades away. Ace leans in, heart pounding as his brows furrow.

"It's Thatch, isn't it? The one who's in the other room there."

Total silence. Jin pauses before he narrows his eyes wearily.

"Why are you asking me when you already know?"

 _(Damn.)_

"Oh god." Ace sighs, twisting his neck uncomfortably.

It's him. It's really him. What should he do when Thatch awakens? Commit seppuku to atone? Tell him that Pops died because of him? What the fuck should he tell him?!

"I should go." Ace says distractedly. Maybe if he sees him, the words might be able to come. _(Even though not a single word came in front of her grave?)_ Maybe if he apologize hard enough, loud enough, Thatch might wake up and smack him over the head or-

"Calm the fuck down, Ace. Are you here to comfort me or here for me to comfort you?" Jin asks.

"But Thatch is-"

" _Thatch is slowly dying_ , yes. But so long as that piece of vivre card Marco has hasn't completely faded, we still got time."

Ace peers into grey-ringed emerald eyes which are bloodshot and accentuated with dark rings, but solemn in their seriousness. Jin is the doctor here, Ace reminds himself, releasing a long, huge breath. Even if he doesn't understand it, he knows always to trust a brother with his life. With Thatch's life.

"What do you mean Thatch is dying?" Ace asks, sitting back down. He had stood up unknowingly in his desperation. He still feels like standing, actually. "Isn't the vivre card yours?"

Jin takes one look at his face and has a whipsplash, cursing dramatically.

"Bloody hell. You think I'm back to my depression and mysophobia too, don't you?"

Ace looks down at the gloves Jin is wearing pointedly and the doctor-cook (Jin is both) curses a storm, pulling the latex material away.

"These are surgery gloves, Ace. I had a surgery before this, and I've had this conversation already with Marco. No, I'm not about to commit suicide again anytime soon. Yes, that paper is mine. And yes, Ringeyes die with their respective charges die, so if I'm not committing suicide anytime soon, it's indicative of Thatch's lifespan too."

"Wait, what?" Ace pales. "So Thatch's really gonna die soon?!"

"We're both going to die soon. I'm just gonna repeat that since it seems like you haven't yet processed anything I've said." Jin grouches. Taking a second look at him, Jin sighs heavily and slumps, finally explaining. "Stroke, heart attack, or even an attack…we don't know what might cause his death. I've been running myself down to the ground between the other divisions and Thatch but…at this point, we can only wait."

"But…no one bad can enter this island, right? And Thatch is on life support, so…"

"That doesn't discount the possibility of other conditions like heart diseases." Jin explains more patiently. "For all we know, he might become brain dead, making his body a lot harder to maintain. With only the vivre card as an indicator, it doesn't help much besides telling us we still have time left."

"But that's…"

Ace slumps.

He has only just discovered that his brother is alive…and now he's being told he might lose both Thatch _and_ Jin? That's…That's just…

"Don't look so freaking disappointed. I'm the one who's gonna die and you're not even letting me cry my poor little heart out." Jin mocks uncharacteristically, a smirk spreading across his face.

"It's _not_ funny, Jin." Ace snaps. He doesn't want his brothers' impending deaths to be mocked by anyone, even if it's themselves.

The doctor's face turns blank at once.

Ace breathes, still trying to process everything.

Jin and Thatch are going to die of…of _something_ , which they don't know. They're pretty much helpless to stop it, with just one useless burning vivre card to give an inaccurate estimation of how much time they have left.

What should he do with so little information? What did he even come to this island for if he can't help-?

 _(The letters.)_

Ace freezes, eyes going wide as he all but tears into his pocket.

The dial is still there, smooth under his fingertips, and most importantly, there's a neat envelope which he shoves into Jin's face.

"R-Read it!" Ace demands, _yells_ , because who knows if a solution is in there?

Jin looks down at the letter, turning it over to see his name. His eyes widen at the handwriting. A moment of silence later, the doctor tears open the envelope with trembling hands, pulling out a folded sheet of paper.

Ace waits impatiently, tapping his feet.

One. Two. Three.

"What does it say?!" He asks.

Jin doesn't reply. He's stoned by whatever he reads.

Ace leans in, pressing himself flush to Jin's side but far too curious to be care about privacy at this point.

Inside the letter, there are only three lines, scribbled into the centre of the paper.

 _~ Thank you for everything so far._

 _Don't blame yourself._

 _Find Kureha. ~_

Kureha. Kureha.

It doesn't take any time at all for the name to register in his head.

That's one of the recipients of the letters. Someone he's going to meet.

Ace sits back up, almost bouncing on the bed in his delight.

"See?! There's a way to save Tha-" His words die in his mouth before he finishes.

Because right there in front of him, tough, sleep-deprived, potty-mouthed Jin has tears streaking down his cheeks silently.

Ace's mouths hangs open before he closes it quietly. Silently, he settles back down, looking away to give Jin a moment of privacy.

"Do you want to talk?" He offers, hands clenching around a –

Oh.

Ace blinks down at the dial in his hand, having pulled it out alongside the letter.

He had brought it along to play it to Jin should he need more chiding to stop being depressed, but…It doesn't really seem like he needs it now. _(Skylar's letter is enough for Jin, he thinks.)_

Jin shakes his head, predictably.

"Then," His heart pounds in his ears at the serious decision he knows he's making. _(What is he thinking?)_ "Do you have any words you want to say to her?"

Ringed emerald eyes flash to him, brows pulling together in confusion.

Ace only lifts the dial in his palm, showing off the names that were carved into it. Jin takes in the silly little pictures which are of their adventures, reads the quoted lines which are all words they said to her at some point of their lives. And Ace smiles sadly as he divulges, "It's hers."

Understanding dawns in his eyes.

"There's one little detail about this which she discovered back when we left Sky Island."

It's a minor detail that's playing to their advantage now. _(It's a major detail which sent him this dial.)_ Ace wraps his fingers around the end of the conch-shape dial, continuing.

"If we turn this thing, the new recording is set to over-right the old one, until we stop recording." He looks at his wide-eyed brother. "You up?"

"…You do realize what you're saying, aren't you?" Jin gives him a hard look.

"Oh, I realize better than what you think." Ace laughs because how could he not? Even now, his hand is still curling protectively around the shell, reluctant to let go of it. "But it's not like she'd come back even if I cling on to old memories. She's dead."

It gives him a bitter taste to say those words.

 _(He's sat at her gravestone for so long, waiting for any reply to come.)_

 _(Nothing came.)_

Ace grins, trying to cheer up when Jin sends him an analytical look.

"Sides, it's selfish, don't you think? How she just tossed words at us without thinking we'd return them?" Ace claps Jin's shoulder. "Do it. Let's take our revenge on her."

A careful look is levelled at him for the third time, and Ace sighs in exasperation.

"Stop psychoanalyzing me. I already have enough of Trafalgar doing that."

"I don't know how you got acquainted with the rookie, but it's clearly well deserved." Jin retorts contemplatively.

"…I'm gonna retract the offer if being considerate only gives me doubt."

"Okay, okay! I get it! I'll take your offer!" Jin yelps, taking the shell from him gently. Ace smiles. Finally, he sees a flash of the old Jin. The idea of talking is clearly doing miracles. _(He's glad.)_

Still, his heart can't help but clench a bit when Jin turns the end of the shell and holds it down.

 _(Stop it It's her voice What are you doing?!)_

 _Click_.

It's done. Ace tries to forget the first words in the dial and just focus on Jin.

Jin takes a deep breath and-

"YOU STUPID GIRL! Who was it that told you to go and die?!"

Ace blinks, wide-eyed at the volume. It's rare that Jin ever gets that loud, even when chasing after runaway patients. Then again, usually, it's just a single syringe to end it all.

"It's true most Ringeyes die in their charges' stead. It's true that I failed to protect Thatch. It's true that Ace is meant to die at that point of time, by his own decision-" Ace's eyes widen at the first confirmation by a Ringeye of his fate. "-but that didn't mean you had to sacrifice yourself, you foolish girl!"

"Blame myself? I put all blame on you, you little rascal. You're the one who makes your own decisions. Take responsibility for your own actions. In fact, I'd butcher you if you're still alive!"

Ace snorts, only to flinch under icy emerald shards. Okay, okay…He'll keep quiet.

Jin inhales deeply and sighs, folding his arms.

Still, the tears flow freely, cascading down his face as he releases his anger and sadness for the first time to the dial.

"That being said…I understand why you chose suicide as your option."

Emerald eyes turn to him briefly, and Ace wonders if he's explaining this because he wants him to understand.

"All throughout history, Ringeyes who tried to salvage both their charges and themselves have never succeeded. In fact, they usually end up dying together, dragging more people with them. I understand why you chose Ace instead of yourself. I understand why you chose the Whitebeards, over you. Even if I don't like it, if my charge is in the midst of a war with the Whitebeards equally at stake…I would have chosen the same. It seems like the only right option for a Whitebeard pirate."

…She chose to die, not just for him, but for the others as well.

 _(That doesn't justify doing it without his permission but-)_

Ace nods in understanding.

He still can't comprehend dying for someone like himself, but…He understands dying for family.

Jin accepts the nod, scowling at the dial.

"Still, be prepared to run the moment I get to heaven. You're in for another so-called torture session."

Ace chokes on a laugh. It's always amusing how scared she gets of Jin.

"But in any case, thank you, Sky. For caring enough to send me this letter and for giving me information like that. I won't give up on saving Thatch or myself."

Ace's breathing hitches. There it is. There's the promise he needs. Jin continues, entirely unaware of the significance of what he's said.

"As for thanking me for what I did…You're welcome, I guess." Jin sniffs and wipes his face, drying his eyes. "It was a pleasure to be able to teach you and train you from the kid you are. I've never met another kid who's as loyal or hardworking as you are, and it was never a pain in the arse having to take care of you. I'm just glad I was able to help you through the toughest period of your life."

"Don't worry about Ace or the Whitebeards. We're strong, so we'll do fine."

Jin bites his lip in thought, almost hesitantly.

When emerald eyes flash to Ace again, Ace wonders if he is bothering Jin with his presence.

Maybe he should lea-

"I love you." The words said in a whisper make Ace's eyes widen. "We're family, always."

 _Click._

Silence resounds for the longest time. Ace can't help but notice how the doctor's ears are turning red, as if he fully expects Ace to mock him for expressing his affection like this. Well, Ace fully intends to tease Jin about this some other time, but at the moment, all he can muster is just a large grin.

"What are you smiling about?!" Jin snaps.

"No, just thinking that she'd say the same to you if she's here listening." Ace chuckles.

"W-Tha-…" Jin stutters before he settles on seething soundlessly.

Ace snickers cheekily, entertained by how uncharacteristic the doctor is. For once, their usual roles are reversed and it's him who's unnerving Jin instead of Jin's needles doing that to him. Leaning a cheek into his palm, Ace grins up at Jin as the doctor presses the dial gingerly into his hand.

"Do you feel better now?"

"…I feel absolutely terrific with one scruffy rat having seen my most affectionate moment." Jin puts his face in his hands for emphasis, and Ace laughs. He's definitely holding this one over him. "But I can live with that, I suppose."

"What do you plan to do about Kureha?" Ace asks, looking pointedly at his letter. "Do you even know who she is?"

"The last I heard, she's like the fucking Jesus in the medical field of this world with just as much elusiveness as he has." Jin sighs, scratching his head. "Whiskey is bias in her claims though, and I'm leaning more towards the culinary world here, so who knows if that's true."

Ace groans. How is he going to find someone like that?

"It's a bummer. I can't exactly leave Thatch alone in case of an attack, so I don't know how I'd find her."

"Stay with Thatch then. I'll find her for you." Ace pats him on the back.

"You sure?" Jin lifts a brow.

"It's not like I don't have to deliver a letter to her too. Might take some time because of the other letters and her elusiveness though." Ace groans once again. He already had enough trouble finding Luffy who's the epitome of chaos on Grand Line. How can he find someone who intentionally keeps away from the media?

"I'll ask around for you." Jin says curtly. It's unanimous that they'd contact via den den mushi. "So, you have other letters to deliver?" Ace can't help but notice how Jin tenses as he continues carefully. "Are there any other recipients who you think might be on this island?"

"No, one has already came and gone, from what I've heard." The other though… Ace hesitates but leans in. "Say…Has Hawkeyed Mihawk came here yet?"


End file.
